did you know where to find me?”
“I saw you come in here. When I had a call from the center I knew where to look.”
Great. She’d believed she’d made her escape. Her focus remained on the green spots showing in the snow that was melting outside. “So now you’re riding to the rescue.”
Lyle came to sit beside her. “I’d just like to help. Be a friend. I was told you looked upset.”
Maybe if she ignored him he would go away. Instead of him taking the hint to leave, he settled further back into the cushions, his big body almost touching hers. They remained like that for a while, neither saying anything.
“You’re not leaving, are you?” Cass stared at the dust motes dancing in the sunbeam streaming through the glass.
“Not until I know you’re okay.” He stretched his legs out and crossed his ankles.
She huffed. “Let me assure you I’m not going to harm myself.”
“I didn’t think that but it’s good to hear.”
He settled back as though he was content to stay the rest of the day. As the silence between them grew so did her temper. She hissed, “What do I have to say to get you to leave?”
For a moment she thought he was ignoring her. When he did reply, concern laced his voice. “I’d like to understand why you’re determined to have no part in our canine therapy program, especially since you work with a dog all the time.”
Could she tell him? Would he understand? Was that the only way to get him to leave her alone? If he knew, maybe he would see to it she didn’t have to go to canine therapy.
She opened her mouth to tell him about Rufus but the words stuck in her throat. If she said it out loud, then it would make it true. She didn’t want that. Couldn’t live with that. She closed her eyes tight. Maybe if she said it really fast she could get it out. “Rufus, my partner, died. Now I don’t know if I can be around a dog all the time.”
The moisture she had been banking for days seeped out of her closed eyelids. She took a deep breath in an effort to stop the sob welling in her throat but it didn’t work. Instead she doubled over in agony. As she tried to catch her breath Lyle ran his large hand across her back in a comforting stroke.
Then he cupped her shoulder and pulled her against his chest. She buried her face in his shirt, her fingers clutching his sides. All the emotions she had held in check since the day that wall had collapsed flowed freely. The pain deep within her consumed her. Rufus was gone. Life as she’d known it had gone with him.
Lyle held her close, rubbing her shoulders and back. “Let it all out,” he whispered.
Cass did. All the raw feelings she’d held in check for weeks flowed, leaving her nothing but a heaving shell. She couldn’t stop the pain, fear and sorrow from escaping.
Lyle continued holding her and murmuring soft reassuring words while she clung to him.
She had no idea how much time had passed when she woke with a start. Disorientated, she still had a sense of safety. Slowly it dawned on her she was still in Lyle’s arms.
Embarrassment flooded her. Placing her palms on his chest, she pushed into a sitting position. Yet one of his hands remained on her back.
“I’m so sorry for that ugly scene,” she heard herself saying. “I don’t know why I fell apart like that. It isn’t like me.”
“I’d imagine it was because you needed to. You’ve been under a tremendous strain.” He shifted, putting his hands on his thighs.
She missed the reassuring weight immediately. Lyle was right, there was a lot of stress and emotion involved in her profession. She should be able to handle it. But where Rufus was concerned she was lost. Cass wiped at his sweater. “I’ve made a mess of your clothes.”
“I don’t mind. I’m glad I was here to help.” He sounded as if he meant it.
“So part of your job description is to have patients cry all over you?” Cass managed a weak smile.
He looked at her tenderly. “Not all patients. I have to say you’re a special case.”
Warmth gradually replaced the coldness running through her. Lyle was a nice man saying all the right things. For an instant she wished he wasn’t a doctor speaking to a patient.
“I knew about you losing your dog, it was in your file. But I had no idea that going to canine therapy would be so difficult for you. You’ve had a tough time physically and…” he paused “…emotionally. Flora, Esme and I didn’t recognize that. I’m sorry. Would you like to talk about what happened? I’m a good listener.” His words were encouraging, not demanding.
Cass shook her head, both in response and to clear it.
He waited a few moments then asked, “When did you learn the details of what happened?”
“I realized the wall was falling but I had no idea…” She swallowed. Her throat was tight and dry. Inhaling, she fought through the final pang of denial. “I didn’t find out Rufus didn’t make it until I woke up in the hospital. When I asked about him, one of the nurses had to ask around for the information.”
Lyle put his arm around her shoulders again and gave her a supportive squeeze. “I’m sorry. It shouldn’t have happened like that.”
Cass continued to look at the windowsill. It was such a large one. Almost big enough to use as a seat. “No matter when I was told, or how, it wouldn’t have made…the terrible truth any easier to hear.”
“Maybe not, but at the very least the news should have been given to you in a sensitive manner.” He sounded irritated on her behalf. “Will you tell me about your dog?”
She didn’t want to, but he deserved to know why she’d just sobbed herself into an exhausted sleep all over him. “Rufus was more than my dog. He was my partner and best friend.”
And her longest relationship. He been there more than once when a relationship with a man had ended. Those guys had either been intimidated by a woman who handled such an emotionally demanding job, or they didn’t like her leaving for weeks at a time on the spur of the moment. For a couple of them her relationship with Rufus had been a bone of contention. They’d wanted all her attention and hadn’t understood the uncanny connection between her and her canine partner. Now she had physical scars that they might find offensive, too.
Jim, the latest and the man she’d believed was The One, had felt her job was too risky. It had been nice to have someone worry over her at first, but it had soon started to feel restrictive. Despite their breakup he’d been kind enough to call her while she’d been in the hospital, but it had soon turned into a conversation that was more about him telling her I told you so than about his real concern for her. There had been no sympathy on his part for Rufus. She’d thought at one time they might have a chance at a real life together. Sadly, she’d really cared for Jim but there was no hope of that after their conversation.
Lyle removed his arm. She wanted it back. It was comforting. “How long was this dog your partner?”
“Four years. He was two when
