to the kind of hospital where each of them could see themselves in the future. Naturally, Layla had described something large and state-of-the art, whereas he’d simply said he wanted to work at a happy hospital. She hadn’t remembered that until now. Apparently, he hadn’t forgotten it. In a way, it made her feel flattered that he’d thought of her.
* * *
“Things are simple here, Layla. I know you’re not used to that, but that’s how we are. And the hospital name fits because when we don’t have enough insulin to treat all our patients and don’t have the means to go get it for another week or two, or when some other hospital like this one is ahead of us on the list, pushing us down the waiting list, we can either go all gloom and doom over our situation or try to make the best of it. Being happy with what we have helps.”
“I didn’t mean to imply it was a bad name, Arlo. But out here, in the middle of the jungle, it just seems—out of place.”
“People are just as happy here as they are where you come from. It’s all relative to their expectations.”
“But are you happy here, Arlo? I know you always said this is what you wanted, but sometimes I’ve wondered what might have happened to you if you’d gone into your grandfather’s surgery the way he’d wanted, or accepted any of the offers you had.”
“I was happy here when I was a kid, traipsing around from village to village with my parents, and I still am. It was the choice I had to make because I wouldn’t have been happy anyplace else, practicing any other kind of medicine.”
He’d never doubted his decision either. He’d lived the traditional life for a while, and he’d lived this life. Ultimately, this was where he wanted to be. Where his heart was. And when he and Layla were together, that had always been the thing she couldn’t, or had refused to understand. Accepting a position elsewhere might have been easier, but easier didn’t mean better. At least, not for him.
“Anyway, I don’t really have good sleeping accommodations for you. Tallaja, my assistant, usually sleeps in the ward when we have patients or the office when we don’t. He’s pretty flexible about that, but I’m guessing you won’t be.”
“As long as I have mosquito netting, it doesn’t matter.”
“Seriously? You’ve been doing your homework, haven’t you?”
“I don’t step into things blindly, Arlo. Except maybe our relationship.”
“I never considered it being blind. Not one day of it.” Arlo stepped aside as Layla marched up steps and pushed past him into Happy Hospital, brushing up against him just slightly, but enough to raise goosebumps on his arms. It was a familiar feeling—one he didn’t want to have. But every time she’d ever touched him, even innocently like just now, she’d caused that reaction that would, inevitably, lead to another reaction, then another, until... Damn. Why these thoughts? Why now when he was just coming to terms with the fact that he would never have enough to offer anyone else a decent life?
Even when he had been with Layla, Arlo had always known she would come to her senses about who he was and what he’d never have to offer her. It hadn’t stopped him from getting involved, but it had always held him back from getting too involved. Back at the beginning, he’d drawn his own line in the sand then taken good care never, ever to step over it, except for that one moment near the end when he’d asked her to come to Thailand with him.
Stupid mistake. He’d known that as the words had come out, and he’d still felt the sting of her rejection a week later when he’d walked away, even though he’d always known how she would answer if he’d asked. “So, look around. There’s not much to see, but it could be a lot worse.”
Layla stopped just inside the hospital door, looked around and turned back to face him. “How many people can you accommodate?” she asked.
“Ten on the worst day ever. We do a lot of our treatment in-home because people here prefer it that way. But for the most part we dispense our medicine and treatments any way we can. My goal isn’t so much the ‘where’ as the ‘what.’”
And it wasn’t an easy goal. Already he could tell that Layla was chastising herself for volunteering. She liked her creature comforts too much. And to think there’d been a time when he’d imagined they could work shoulder to shoulder here, that she wouldn’t be bothered by the overall difficulty of pretty much everything. Well, he’d been wrong about that. Stars in his eyes. That’s what he told himself afterward. Or maybe it had been the first time in his life he’d connected to a woman the way he had Layla.
Unfortunately, his situation doomed a relationship. But, if he were to pack up and leave for the sake of love, chances were nobody would come to take his place. The thought of letting down the people in his care made Arlo queasy and with that came the unrelenting knowledge that letting himself down was his course to follow. Forever alone. So, this is where he was, however it had happened. His choice, of course. And in that he’d been as stubborn or independent as he’d accused Layla of being.
“Your other option is to share my hut. It has a little more privacy—not much—but it’s someplace where you can get away when you need to. Unless there’s an emergency, people here know not to bother me when I’m in there.” Arlo hadn’t intended to ask her but now that he had, he didn’t regret it.
When they had been together, they’d had fun evenings. Sitting, talking. Laughing. So maybe that was a bit of nostalgia creeping in. But those had been nice times and he didn’t mind the reminders. Because once he and Layla had been very good together. Unfortunately, that had ended, but maybe having her here could shut the book on the bad and leave him with only the good. He hoped so as he didn’t want to carry the weight of the bad with him for the rest of his life and, if he planned to spend that life alone, he wanted the good memories to look back on.
* * *
“You don’t have to stand there looking so stressed, Arlo. I can do this job. Even more, I want to do this job.”
“Because it’s just another rung higher on your climb.”
“Yes. I won’t lie about that. Ollie needs team players in his surgery, and that’s what I’ve been for quite a while now.”
“Is it a struggle? Because I’ve never seen you as a team player. And I don’t say that to offend you. But you always prided yourself on standing alone.”
Layla laughed. “Because when you knew me, that’s all I’d ever done. Stood alone. So, it’s always a struggle joining in, and I know that. So does Ollie. But this promotion means everything, so I’ve got a lot of work to do if I want to earn it. That demon of ambition is still there, Arlo, chipping away at me, and I thought something unexpected, like coming here, to the last place I thought I’d ever want to be, would help me learn what I need to know outside what I already know.”
Arlo cocked his head and looked at her for a moment, then smiled. “I thought maybe he’d twisted your arm.”
“You’re the only one who ever tried to twist my arm and look how that turned out.”
“I still can’t believe you chose this, Layla. What were his other options?”
“Going to a sister hospital in Miami or working as assistant surgeon for a football team. Both short-term, fill-in positions like this. So, to be honest, I’m as surprised as you that I raised my hand for this. Especially since it scares me that I won’t
