of being sleepy together. What had just taken place had shaken her to the core, and while she was still very new to all this, she was not stupid—it had shaken Gianferro, too, she knew it had. And yet despite the wonder and the strength of what had just happened he lay there now as if his body had been carved from stone—as distant as one of the rocks out at sea. When this moment—surely—was one when they could be as close as two people could be.
She turned onto her back and lay looking up at the ceiling, feeling suddenly very alone. Was this what her marriage was going to be like? And if so, could she bear it?
He had corrected her when she had asked if being Royal meant being remote, implying that she had misunderstood him—that he had meant to say removed.
But she didn’t believe him. For at this precise moment he was as remote as it was possible for any man to be.
She listened to the deepening of his breathing and realised he had fallen asleep.
Millie bit her lip.
For sanity’s sake—she wasn’t going to think about it.
MILLIE drew a deep breath. ‘Gianferro?’
The King looked up from his desk, his mind clearing as he saw his wife hovering in the doorway of his study. How beautiful she looked today—with her pale hair wound into some complicated confection which lay at the back of her long, slender neck. She wore a simple blue dress, which emphasised her lithe and athletic build and her long legs. Legs which had last night been bare and wrapped around his naked back. He smiled with satisfaction. ‘What is it, cara mia?’
‘Do you have a moment?’ she questioned.
The faintest glimmer of a frown creased his brow. Millie, as much as anyone, knew just how tight his schedule was. ‘What’s on your mind?’
She wondered what he would say if she told him the truth—that she was feeling lonely and isolated, and that a night-time dose of passion did not compensate for those feelings. But she could not tell him. Gianferro was far too busy to be worrying about her problems—which to an outsider would probably not look like problems at all. And why would they?
To an observer, she had everything. A gorgeous husband who made love to her with such sweet abandon that sometimes she seriously thought that her body could not withstand such pleasure. She lived in a Palace and she could have whatever she pleased. The things which other women dreamed of were hers for the taking…even if, ironically, they were not what she coveted.
‘I want you to cover your exquisite body in jewels,’ Gianferro had murmured to her huskily in bed one night.
‘But I’m not into jewels!’ Millie had protested.
‘No?’ Lazily he had drifted a fingertip from neck to cleavage, and she had shivered with anticipation. ‘Then I shall have to be “into” them for you, shan’t I, Millie?’ His black eyes had glittered. ‘I shall buy you a sapphire as big as a pigeon’s egg, and it will echo your eyes and hang just above your glorious breasts and remind me of how I bury my mouth in them and suckle on their sweetness.’
When the man you loved said something like that what woman wouldn’t be putty in his hands? Suddenly the idea of a priceless necklace did appeal—but only because Gianferro would choose it. For her and only her. As if it meant something—really meant something—instead of just being a symbol of possession. An expensive bauble for his wife. A material reward for her devotion to duty as his Queen because he was unable to give her what she really craved—for him to love her. Properly. The way that she loved him.
And she did.
How could she fail to love the man who had awoken the woman in her in every way that counted and set her free? She had been living in a two-dimensional world before Gianferro had stormed in with such vibrant and pulsating life.
He had taken her and transformed her—moulded her into his Queen and his wife. At least externally he had. Inside she was aware of her own vulnerability—of a great, aching realisation that he would never return the love she felt for him.
Sometimes she looked at him in bed at night, when he was sleeping, and could scarcely believe that he was hers. Well, in so much as someone like Gianferro could be anyone’s.
He was everything a man should and could be—strong and proud and intelligent, with a sensuality which seemed to shimmer off him. The leader of the pack—and weren’t all women programmed to desire the undisputed leader? Especially as he treated her like…well, like a princess, she supposed. Except that she wasn’t. Not any more. She was now the Queen.
The Coronation had been terrifying—the glittering crown which had been placed on her head at the solemn moment had seemed almost as heavy as she was. But at least she had been expecting it—had been warned about the weight of it—and Alesso had suggested she practise walking around the apartments with it on her head.
‘It takes a little getting used to—the wearing of a crown, Your Serene Majesty.’
It had seemed more than a little bizarre to be wearing jeans and a T-shirt and a priceless heirloom on her head! Millie’s eyes had widened. ‘It weighs a ton!’ she’d exclaimed, as she had lowered it onto her blonde hair.
‘Do not tilt your head so. Yes, that is better. Now, practise sitting down on the throne, Your Majesty,’ he had instructed, and Millie had falteringly obeyed, feeling like one of those women who had to carry their crops home on top of their heads!
At least she hadn’t let anyone down on the big day—herself included. The newspapers had praised the ‘refreshing innocence’ of the new young Queen, and Millie had stared unblinkingly at the photographs.
Was that really her?
To Millie herself she seemed to resemble a startled young deer which had just heard a gunshot deep in the forest. Her eyes looked huge and her mouth unsmiling. But then she had been coached in that, too. It was a solemn occasion—heralded by the death of the old King—not a laughing matter.
Afterwards, of course, there had been celebrations in the Palace, and Millie had overheard Lulu exclaiming, ‘I can’t believe I’m sister to a queen!’ and had seen Gianferro’s brief and disapproving frown.
At least that had dissolved away the last of her residual doubts about Lulu. She could see now that her sister would not have made a good consort to Gianferro—she was far too independent.
And me? What about me? Millie had caught a reflection of herself in one of the silvered mirrors which lined the Throne Room. I am directionless and without a past, and therefore I am the perfect wife for him. The image thrown back at her was a sylph-like figure clad in pure and flowing white satin. In a way, she looked more of a bride on her Coronation day than when she had married—but she had learnt more than one lesson since then, and had toned down her make-up to barely anything.
Yes, her husband revered and respected her, and made love to her, but he was not given to words of love. Not once had he said I love you—not in any language. And Millie was beginning to suspect that was because he simply did not have the capacity for the fairytale kind of love that every woman secretly dreamed of. How could he?
He
