that’s what it sounded like.’ He looked away and she was left staring at his harsh profile, at the muscle that twitched ominously beneath the stubble of his cheek. There was silence as she battled to control the mixed emotions rioting inside her, as she waited for her skin to cool down.
‘My brother has some personal issues to overcome.’ Finally Zahir spoke again, leaning forward to replace his cup on the table. ‘He suffers from anxiety due to a trauma he suffered and this can affect his mood. He just needs time, that’s all. When the right person is found, he will marry and produce a family. Of that I am certain.’
‘Of course.’ Anna was not going to make the mistake of questioning that statement, even if secretly she had her doubts. There was something about Rashid that she found very unnerving. On the plane journey here she had looked up to see him staring at her in a very peculiar way, almost as if he was looking right through her. ‘But does Rashid not get to choose his own wife? You make it sound as if he has no say in the matter.’
‘Like me, you mean?’ The eyes swung back, lingering this time, tracing a trail over her sensitised skin, across her cheekbones and down her nose, until they rested on her lips. Anna felt their burn as vividly as if she had been touched by a flame.
‘And me too.’ She just about managed to croak out the words of defiance, even though her heart had gone off like a grenade inside her.
‘Indeed.’ Something approaching empathy softened his voice. ‘We are all victims of circumstance to a greater or lesser extent.’
Greater—definitely greater in her case. To marry this man, tie herself for ever to this wild, untamed, warrior, had meant taking the biggest leap of faith in her life. But Anna didn’t regret it. In the same way as some inner sense had told her that she could never have married Rashid Zahani, it now filled her with nervous excitement at the thought of marrying his brother. Excitement, exhilaration and terror all rolled into one breathtaking surge of adrenaline. But there was worry too—worry that maybe once Zahir knew all the facts he might no longer want to marry her. She was beginning to realise just how devastating that would be. Because she wanted Zahir. In every sense of the word. Drawing in a shaky breath, she decided she was going to have to just plunge in.
‘About our marriage, Zahir.’ She watched the play of his muscles across his back as he leant forward to refill his coffee cup again. ‘There are things we need to discuss.’
‘I’ve told you. I will leave all the arrangements to you. I have neither the time nor the interest to get involved.’
‘I’m not talking about the arrangements.’
‘What, then?’ He settled back against the cushions, his eyes holding hers with a piercing intensity that made her feel like a specimen butterfly being pinned to a board.
She shifted nervously to make sure she still could. ‘We need to talk about what sort of marriage it will be.’
‘The usual, I imagine.’
‘And what exactly does that mean?’ Irritation and helplessness spiked her voice. ‘There is nothing usual about this marriage, Zahir. From the fact that I have been swapped from one brother to another, to your disclosure just now that we won’t be sharing the same rooms. None of it fits the term usual.’
Zahir gave that infuriating shrug, as if none of it was of any consequence to him.
‘Will you expect us to have full marital relations, for example?’ She blurted out the question before she had time to phrase it properly, using language that sounded far more clinical than she felt. But maybe that was a good thing.
‘Of course.’ His straightforward answer, delivered in that raw, commanding voice and coupled with the burn of amber in those hooded eyes, had the peculiar effect of melting something inside of Anna, fusing her internal organs until she was aware of nothing but a deep pulse somewhere low down in her abdomen. It was a feeling so extraordinary, so remarkable, that she found she wanted to hold on to it, capture it, before it slipped away for ever.
Zahir intended that they should have sex. That in itself was hardly surprising, considering that they were going to be man and wife. Why had it sent her body into a clenching spasm?
‘Nabatean is a young country. It is our duty to procreate, to provide a workforce for the future, to build upon the foundations we have established.’ Ah, yes: duty. They were back to that again. ‘But I don’t intend to make constant demands on you.’ He paused, thick lashes lowering to partly obscure his eyes. ‘If that is what you’re worrying about.’
Did she look worried? Anna had no idea what expression her face was pulling—she was too busy trying to control her body. And the thought of him making constant demands on her was only intensifying the peculiar feeling inside her. She needed to get a grip, and fast.
‘In that case...there is something that you need to know. Before we get married, I mean.’
‘Go on.’
Suddenly her whole body was painfully alive to him, every pore of her skin prickling with agonising awareness. The hairs on her arms, on the back of her neck, stood on end with craving, desire and the tortured anxiety of what she had to tell him.
‘I’m not sure.’ She reached for the security of a tendril of hair, twisting it round and round her finger. ‘But it’s quite possible that I am not able to...’
‘Not able to what?’
‘Not able to actually have sexual intercourse.’
ZAHIR’S DARK BROWS LOWERED, narrowing his hooded gaze until it was little more than twin slits of glinting stone. He twisted slightly so that his knee now touched hers, moving one arm behind them and placing it palm down on the cushions so that it anchored him in place. Anna could sense it, like a rod of muscled strength, inert yet still exuding power. Even seated he was so much taller than her, so much bigger, that she felt dwarfed by him, shaded, as if weakened by his strength.
‘I don’t understand.’ He stared at her full in the face, with no trace of embarrassment or sensitivity for her predicament. She had presented him with a problem, that much was clear from the brooding intensity of his gaze, but it was a determination to get to the facts that had set his face in stone. ‘What do you mean, you can’t have sexual intercourse? Do you have some sort of physical abnormality?’
‘No!’ Anna pulled at the neckline of her dress, hoping it would dislodge the lump in her throat as well as cool herself down. The temperature in the small room seemed to have ramped up enormously. ‘At least, it wouldn’t appear so.’
‘Have you been examined by a physician?’
‘Yes, I have, actually.’
‘And what were the findings?’
‘They could find no physical reason for the...problem.’
‘So what, then? What are you trying to tell me?’
‘I’m trying to tell you that, when it actually comes to...you know... I can’t actually... I fear I’m not able to accommodate a man.’ Anna finished the sentence all in a rush, lowering
