has no place here.’ He struggled wildly to release himself from her gaze, from the grip of her declaration. But when that bleak statement didn’t work, when she still refused to look away, he tried again, desperately searching for some sort of logic to make her see sense.
‘Besides, I suspect it is no more than an aberration.’ He tried to soften his voice, to sound reasonable, even though he had never felt less reasonable, more cut loose from sanity, in his life. ‘When you return to your country, you will see that.’
‘This is no aberration, Zahir.’ Stubbornly she refused to back down. ‘I will do as you say. I will get on that plane and fly back to Dorrada. But I guarantee it will change nothing, no matter how much you want it to. Neither time nor distance nor death itself will change how I feel. I love you, Zahir. And I always will.’
Zahir closed his eyes against the astonishingly punishing power of her words. He couldn’t accept them. He refused to accept them. A beautiful creature such as Annalina could never truly love a brute like him. He struggled to try and find the words to explain that to her, cursing when they refused to come to him, as if his vocabulary was deliberately defying him.
‘And what’s more...’ She held the moment in her hand, poised for the final thrust. ‘I think that you love me too.’
ANNA SAW HIM FLINCH, felt the twist of it inside her. She had no idea if it was true. It was as deranged a notion as it was incredible. The tortured look on Zahir’s face told her nothing either, except that her rash words had affected him deeply. But it was worth a try. What did she have to lose? Certainly not her pride—there was precious little of that left to worry about. And self-respect? If that was hanging by a thread too maybe it was time to stand up for herself, to challenge Zahir’s decision. All her life she had been the victim of other people’s schemes and machinations. Well enough. This time she was going to fight for what she wanted. She was going to fight for the man she loved.
‘Zahir?’ Gathering her courage around her, she broke the silence softly, like popping a bubble in the air. ‘Do you have nothing to say?’ She stretched out a hand to his face, turning him towards her. ‘Look at me, Zahir. Tell me what you’re feeling.’
‘I see no purpose in that.’ He turned against her hand, his stubbled jaw rough against her fingers as he presented her with his most harsh profile.
‘Tell me why you flinch when I talk about love.’ Still Anna persisted. ‘What is it about the idea that frightens you so much?’
This spun his head back round, made her drop her hands from his cheeks. The notion of Zahir being frightened of anything was totally ridiculous and yet, as she searched his furious gaze, she could see that it was true.
‘I have no idea what love is,’ he fired back. ‘It is beyond my reasoning.’
‘No, Zahir. I don’t believe you. I could hear the love in your voice when you spoke to me of your mother. I can see it in the patience you show to Rashid. You are capable of love, no matter how much you want to deny it.’
‘And look what happened to them, to my parents, to Rashid.’ He let out a cry that echoed around them. ‘Look what happens to the people that you claim I love. They are either murdered or left mentally deranged. Is that what you want for yourself, Annalina?
‘Stop this, Zahir!’ She matched his cry. ‘You can’t go on blaming yourself for what happened for ever.’
‘I can and I will.’
‘Then so be it.’ She knew there would be no changing his mind when it came to that terrible night. The guilt was too deep-rooted, too all-encompassing. ‘But you have no right to punish me for it as well.’
‘You!’ His eyes flashed with fire. ‘Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you, not punish you? I’m trying to save you from the hideous consequences of falling in love with me.’
‘It’s too late for that. And, even if it weren’t, I would be prepared to take the risk if there was any possibility that you might return my love.’
‘Really? Then you are a fool. Because misery is the only reward you will get from such a return.’
‘No, I am not a fool, Zahir. I love you.’ She countered his temper with calm assertion, pressing down on the tightly coiled spring inside her to stop it from wreaking unimaginable havoc. ‘I think I have always loved you, from the very first moment we met. It is an emotion out of my control. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it.’
She paused, her eyes trained on his, refusing even to blink. ‘Up until the time we made love, only a few short hours ago, I would never have dared to think that you might love me too. But I felt the heat of your body as you touched me, heard your cry of release when you came, listened to the beat of your heart as you fell asleep with me in your arms. And that has given me hope.
‘So, if there is any chance that you might love me too, then I’m going to drag it out of you. It doesn’t have to make any difference to our relationship. I will still leave for Dorrada, if that’s what you want. I will agree to the annulment of the marriage, sever all contact with you for ever, if you truly believe that’s how it has to be. But, if you feel any love for me, I believe I have the right to be told.’
Zahir felt Anna’s impassioned speech rock the very foundation of his being, dislodging the corner stone that kept him upright, made him the man he was. He could feel himself wobble, threatening to tumble like a pile of building blocks at her feet.
All his life he had been so sure of his focus. His beloved country had been what mattered. That was at the heart of everything he did, including the reason he had married Annalina and brought her here. But his judgement had been flawed, and not for the first time. Now she was challenging his decision to release her, pushing and pushing, messing with his head until he no longer knew right from wrong any more. Her declaration of love, delivered with such composure, had ripped him wide open. And now she seemed determined to make him stare into the very depths of his own heart.
He looked down at her beautiful, open face, so moved by her words that he couldn’t think straight. He wanted to be able to formulate some sort of reply but nothing would come, his throat choked with something that felt alarmingly like tears. Turning his head away, he swallowed madly.
‘Zahir?’ She reached for him again, taking his face in her hands and holding it firmly in her cold grip, her gaze raking mercilessly over every tortured inch of it. Zahir tried to blink, to look away, but it was too late. She had already seen the sheen in his eyes. ‘Oh, Zahir!’
Raising herself up, she touched his lips with her own, nudging them with the gentlest feather-light pressure. ‘Say it. Say it to me now.’
‘No!’ Her breath was a soft whisper on his skin but still he fought off its assault. Anger was beginning to surge through him now at the way she was clawing at his masculinity, delving into his soul. That he, Zahir Zahani, the warrior prince, had been almost reduced to tears by this young woman was unthinkable. He would not stand for it. ‘I will not say it. I cannot.’
‘Why, Zahir? Because it isn’t true? Or because you refuse to accept it?’
‘Either, both, I don’t know.’ Screwing up his eyes, he wrenched her hands
