right now and wouldn’t want to be disturbed with phone calls.
A thought suddenly occurred to him. ‘Donna? Did Cara interview you here?’
‘No. I went to her flat.’ She frowned. ‘Although, come to think of it, I don’t think it was her place; she didn’t know which cupboard the sugar for my drink was kept in.’
He paced towards her, startling her with a rather manic smile.
‘Okay, Donna. Your first job as my PA is to give me the address where you met Cara.’
* * *
At first Cara thought that the loud banging was part of her dream, but she started awake as the noise thundered through the flat again, seeming to shake the walls. Whoever was knocking really wanted to get her attention.
Pulling her big towelling dressing gown on over her sleep shorts and vest top, she stumbled to the door, still half-asleep. Perhaps the postman had a delivery for one of the other flats and they weren’t in to receive it.
But it wasn’t the postman.
It was Max.
Her vision tilted as she stumbled against the door in surprise and she hung on to the handle for dear life in an attempt to stop herself from falling towards him.
‘Max! How did you find me?’ she croaked, her voice completely useless in the face of his shocking presence.
She’d told herself that giving them both some space to breathe was the best thing she could do. After leaving his house on Monday she’d tried to push him out of her mind in an attempt to get through the dark, lonely days without him, but always, in the back of her mind, was the hope that he’d think about what she’d said and maybe, at some point in the future, want to look her up again.
But she hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.
‘My new PA, Donna, gave me the address,’ he said, raising an eyebrow in chastisement, though the sparkle in his eyes told her he wasn’t seriously angry with her for going ahead and hiring someone to take her place without his approval.
Telling herself not to get too excited in case he was only popping round to drop off something she’d accidentally left at the house, she motioned for him to come inside and led him through to the kitchen diner, turning to lean against the counter for support.
‘You did say you’d understand if I couldn’t work with you any more. After what happened,’ she said.
He came to a stop a few feet away from her and propped himself against the table. ‘I did.’
She took a breath and tipped up her chin. ‘I’m not made of stone, Max. As much as I’d like to sweep what happened on Sunday under the carpet, I can’t do that. I’m sorry.’
Letting out a long sigh, he shifted against the table. ‘Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I was the one who knocked on your door when you had the strength to walk away.’
She snorted gently. ‘That wasn’t strength; it was cowardice.’
‘You’re not a coward, Cara; you just have a strong sense of self-preservation. You should consider it a gift.’
She stared down at the floor, aware of the heat of her humiliation rising to her face, not wanting him to see how weak and out of control she was right now.
‘So you start a new job next week?’ he asked quietly.
Forcing herself to look at him again, she gave him the most assertive smile she could muster. ‘Yes, at a place in the City. It’s a good company and the people were very friendly when they showed me around.’
‘I bet you could handle just about anything after having to work for me.’ He smiled, but she couldn’t return it this time. The muscles in her face wouldn’t move. They seemed to be frozen in place.
Gosh, this was awkward.
‘You’ve been good for my confidence.’ She flapped a hand at him and added, ‘Work-wise,’ when he raised his eyebrows in dispute. ‘You were great at letting me know when I’d done a good job.’
‘Only because you were brave enough to point out how bad I was at it.’
She managed a smile this time, albeit a rather wonky one. ‘Well, whatever. I really appreciated it.’
There was a tense silence where they both looked away, as if psyching themselves up to tackle the real issues.
‘Look, I’m not here to ask you to come back and work for me again,’ Max said finally, running a hand over his hair.
‘Oh. Okay,’ she whispered, fighting back the tears. She would not break down in front of him. She wouldn’t.
He frowned, as if worried about the way she’d reacted, and sighed loudly. ‘Argh! I’m so bad at this.’ He moved towards her but stopped a couple of feet away, holding up his hands. ‘I wanted to tell you that I think I’ve finally made peace with what happened to Jemima. Despite my best efforts to remain a reclusive, twisted misery guts, I think I’m going to be okay now.’ He took another step towards her, giving her a tentative smile. ‘Thanks to you.’
Forcing down the lump in her throat, she smiled back. ‘That’s good to hear, Max. Really good. I’m happy that you’re happy. And I do understand why you don’t want me to come back and work for you. It must have been hard having me hanging around your house so much.’
‘I’m going to sell the house, Cara.’
She stared at him in shock, her heart racing. ‘What? But—how can you stand to leave it? That beautiful house.’
‘I don’t care about the house. I care about us.’ This time he walked right up to her, so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body, and looked her directly in the eye. ‘I’m ready to live again and I want to do it with you.’
‘You—?’
‘Want you, Cara.’ His voice shook with emotion and she could see now that he was trembling.
‘But—? I thought you said—when did you...?’ Her voice petered out as her brain shut down in shock.
He half smiled, half frowned. ‘Clearly I need to explain some things.’ He took her hand and led her gently over to the sofa in the living area, guiding her to sit down next to him, keeping his fingers tightly locked with hers and capturing her gaze before speaking.
‘When we slept together I felt like I’d betrayed a promise to Jemima.’ He swallowed hard. ‘After what happened to her I thought I had no right to be happy and start again when she couldn’t do that. I truly thought I’d never love someone else the way I loved her, but then I realised I didn’t need to. The love I feel for you is different—just as strong, but a different flavour. Does that make sense?’
He waited for her to nod shakily before continuing. ‘I don’t want to replicate Jemima or the way it was with her. I want to experience it all afresh with you. I’ll always love Jem because she was a big part of my life for many years, but I can compartmentalise that now
