and Raoul would blame her, and he’d be right to. She should never have made the offer.
* * *
Raoul stood there knowing before the organ burst into life that the reverent hush was for his bride.
It was a moment he had sworn would never happen again. The last time was enough for ten lifetimes and the poison it had left behind had burnt into his soul.
He took comfort in the fact that he would not fall in love this time—that this time his emotions were not involved. He’d fully expected to feel trapped at this juncture, he’d been prepared to feel it, but the emotion that separated itself out from the others was...actually, he couldn’t name the feeling that tightened in his chest.
The circumstances ruled out pride, not that it was an unpleasant feeling to know you were the envy of every man in the room. She was beautiful. She was about to become his wife.
For six months anyway. The thought was chased up by a vague sense of dissatisfaction, but before he could analyse it he realised that, though she was acting her head off, looking at him as though he were the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, all was not well with Lara.
For a split second he thought she was on the brink of doing a runner, then he realised what message her eyes were flashing as she turned her head slightly towards his grandfather.
Raoul stood ready to step in should he need to, right up to the point that Lara helped Sergio into his seat.
Lara felt as if she’d been holding her breath the entire length of the aisle. It wasn’t until Sergio and her mother safely took their places in the front pew and she handed her bouquet to Lily that she could actually breathe properly.
She allowed herself a small congratulatory smile before she turned to face Raoul.
Their eyes connected and the lie hit her hard. The look in his eyes, the promises they were about to make. She felt the tears swim into her eyes and wished she’d opted for a veil.
The ceremony itself went by in a blur of emotion. She could remember Raoul’s responses, his deep, clear voice, but not her own. Presumably she had made her vows because Raoul was bending his head for the first kiss, brushing his lips across hers and not acting surprised when she whispered the unromantic message against his mouth.
‘It’s your grandfather—I don’t think he’s well.’
His eyes held understanding but he just nodded as, hand in hand, they moved on to the legal part of signatures and witnesses.
At some point she saw Sergio leaving through a side door, his shrunken frame looking frail between two bodyguards.
She could feel Raoul’s impatience as they stood welcoming their glittering guests, and by the time they reached the end of the line her hand was aching and she was way beyond awed and star-struck.
Once they were seated, Raoul got to his feet and the place fell silent, all eyes on the tall, commanding figure.
‘I wish to thank all my friends and family for being here today, and most of all, naturally, my beautiful bride...’ He paused for the ripple of applause. ‘However, as you have probably already noticed, one person is not with us. Our host today, my grandfather, is feeling unwell, so I will leave you for a moment in Lara’s capable hands. Please enjoy yourselves.’
Lara watched him leave, noticing him pause to say something in the ear of a striking-looking brunette on the way out.
The woman nodded, then approached Lara with a friendly smile.
‘Tell me, Lara, do you ride?’
She took a deep breath and thought, And now I start earning my severance cheque. ‘I love horses, it’s just heights I have a problem with. My sister and I did used to help out at stables near where we were brought up—the place is run by a charity that helps children with disabilities get an opportunity to ride.’
* * *
‘I’m sorry.’ It was close on nine when Raoul came to sit on the bed where Lara was wearing a pair of silky pale green shortie pyjamas.
She looked up when he spoke and shook her head. ‘What for?’
‘For walking out on the wedding reception...’
‘How is he?’
She had got the message that Sergio’s doctor had insisted that he go to the hospital to get checked over.
‘They’re keeping him overnight. They seem to think that there hasn’t been any deterioration. It’s his drug regime that’s the problem.’ He rotated his neck to ease the tension that had climbed into his shoulders.
Lara pulled herself up onto her knees and shuffled across the bed until she was in a position to slide her hands under the neck of his shirt. His muscles were like iron. ‘Wow, you really have some knots there.’
Raoul grunted as her fingers dug into muscles. ‘So how was it after I left?’ He had felt guilty as hell leaving her to cope alone. Talk about throwing her in at the deep end!
‘Oh, people were happy and there was plenty of booze. Actually, I left early myself.’ Lily, who was at drama college, had a screen test for a TV show the next day, so she and her mum hadn’t stayed late. Once they’d gone, Lara hadn’t known a soul and Naomi, the woman Raoul had spoken to, who had introduced herself as a family friend, had assured her that she wouldn’t be missed.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll deputise,’ she had promised as Lara had slipped away.
Raoul’s silence made her wonder whether leaving early wasn’t a bigger thing than the other woman had suggested.
‘Did I do wrong? Naomi said she’d—’
‘Oh, I’m sure it was fine.’
‘Her husband is in a wheelchair?’
‘She was one of Lucy’s friends.’ Actually the only one he still had any contact with. ‘And Leo has MS. She’s devoted and he’s not an easy man. Ouch!’
She dug her teeth into her bottom lip. ‘Sorry, got carried away,’ she admitted guiltily.
He reached out and pushed his fingers into her hair. ‘You make it sound as though that is a bad thing?’
His tone was light but the glow in his dark eyes was anything but. ‘You looked beautiful today.’ It was rare for his accent to surface; it only happened in moments of passion. ‘I’m sorry the day was ruined.’
‘There’s nothing to ruin. After all, it’s all make-believe, smoke and mirrors.’
‘Well, you played your part well.’
‘Did I? I don’t really remember. I was just scared that Sergio was going to collapse, and this is all about Sergio.’
Recognising this didn’t mean that she hadn’t wondered a little about how it might feel if this were happening for real...oh, not with Raoul, obviously. When and if she ever married again she knew it would not be a man like Raoul.
Even
