“I like yours better, too. But coming back to the matter at hand, my history should only underscore the point. I’ve no idea what a family looks like. I cannot be a satisfactory guardian. Hell, I don’t even have dogs. Commitment isn’t in my nature.”
“You’re simply too virile to be tied down, is that it?” Her eyes teased him. “Must be all those antlers.”
“Don’t make light of it,” he said in a warning tone. “And while I’m on the subject, it’s inadvisable to wander the house at night in the home of a known rake. Your reputation could be compromised.”
“I’m not worried. You said the thought of seducing me would never even cross your mind.”
“Yes, but sometimes,” he murmured, “a man acts without thinking at all.”
He leaned in as if drawn to her, trying to convince himself that a kiss would be for her own good. Just a little one, of course. A mere brush of his lips on hers. It wouldn’t be so very terrible of him. It would be a tiny bit terrible of him, and that was the point. To put the punctuation mark on his warning. Beware. Turn back. Here there be monsters. He’d be doing her a favor, really.
Right. He’d bedded Venetian acrobats less flexible than his morality.
She put a hand to his chest. “Wait.”
Wait, she’d said.
“Wait” wasn’t “stop.”
“You can afford to act without thinking,” she went on, “but I have to reason things through.”
“Reason things through,” he echoed, nonplussed.
“Whenever I’m faced with a decision, I consider the arguments for and against.”
“Remind me. What decision are you facing?”
“Whether or not to allow you to kiss me.”
He stared at her.
“That was your intent, wasn’t it? To kiss m—” She paled in horror. “Oh, Lord. It wasn’t, was it? I’ve misunderstood.”
“No, no,” he assured her. “It was my intent.”
“Oh.” She exhaled, and the pretty flush of pink returned to her cheeks. “That’s good.”
“Is it?”
“I’m not certain yet. The ‘against’ pile is rather large.” She plucked lumps of sugar from the sugar bowl and began counting them into a heap on the worktop. “I’m your employee. You’re my employer and a shameless rake. You’re clearly trifling with me. I might lose your respect. I might lose respect for myself. I might give you the idea that I’m willing to allow further liberties—which I am not.”
“I never imagined you were.”
“But in the ‘for’ pile . . .” She gathered a cluster of sugar lumps with her right hand, adding them one by one. “If it would be just the once—”
“It would be.”
“—with no further entanglement . . .”
“I despise entanglements. The mere thought of them makes me itch.”
“And you must have accumulated some talent for kissing, considering your history. So I suppose I could do worse.”
Hold a moment. Worse? He couldn’t let that pass unchallenged.
He lowered his voice to a seductive drawl. “Sweeting, you’d be hard-pressed to do better.”
“Precisely,” she agreed, matter-of-fact. “I may as well have a pleasant experience for my first kiss.”
Chase couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Her first kiss? What a travesty. That lush, rosy mouth was eminently kissable.
She bit her bottom lip, as if she could sense him staring. “Goodness, I suppose it could be my only kiss. That’s rather lowering to contemplate, but the possibility can’t be discounted. Another lump in the ‘for’ heap, isn’t it? Knowing that even if I die a spinster, I won’t be an unkissed one.”
He watched her slide another sugar lump into the pile. “If you truly make all your decisions this way, you must drive shopkeepers mad.”
“I don’t typically ponder them aloud.” Her face flushed.
“Far be it from me to stop you. I have a stake in the conclusion.” He plunked his elbow on the worktop and propped his chin in his hand, studying her. Her little one-person debate had him riveted. As did her fetching features when she was deep in concentration.
As many women as he’d charmed and seduced in his life, he could honestly say he had never, ever encountered a woman like this one. Her background wasn’t the half of it.
She rolled a sugar lump back and forth with the tips of two fingers. He wanted to suck those slender fingers into his mouth and run his tongue over them, between them, lapping up the sweetness until she gasped with forbidden pleasure. The fantasy was so vivid, he could taste it.
Good God.
Chase straightened, cleared his throat, and rapped his knuckles against the worktop in an affable manner. “Let me know when you have your answer, then. I’m available Thursday next, if that suits.”
With her eyes still trained on the sugar, she signaled for a pause. “One moment.”
Naturally, the answer would be in the negative. No woman of her sense, given the opportunity to consider the matter fully, would weigh both sides and arrive at acceptance. That was why he sent his conquests spinning off guard with charm and flattery, why he dazzled them with lush surroundings and sparkling wines. Why he kept his liaisons to one night, and no more.
Because if a woman looked too close and thought too long, she would see the truth: He was a despicable, shameless cad. Alexandra Mountbatten knew it. She’d understood him from the first. Her answer would be no.
So why was he holding his breath in anticipation?
Perhaps the brandy had muddled his senses.
Or perhaps he couldn’t help wondering how it would feel for a rational, clear-eyed woman to see him—truly see him—and still find him worth the risk.
His heart clawed up his throat and battered his eardrums, and all because a tidy little governess was taking longer than usual to reject him. Absurd. Stupid, really.
At last, she put an end to the suspense.
“I don’t want you to kiss me,” she said, “now that I’ve thought it through.”
See? There it was. She was clever enough to see the black, rotted mess where his soul ought to be, and she wanted no part of it.
She lifted her tiny, delicate hand to his cheek. Not to deliver the slap he deserved, but
