for hours and could not find you. When you finally arrived home, no one had to tell me you were with a woman. I knew. Her scent was all over you. God, I can still smell that cloying perfume. What kind of man do you think that makes you? I believed you when you told me you cared for me.’
‘I did care for you. I still do—’
‘Apparently, not enough. I know what kind of man you are. The entire ton knows what kind of man you are. The very first ball I attended after giving birth to Nicholas I was plagued with pitying looks and whispers behind fans. I was the woman whose husband was bedding another while she was bearing his heir. And that name swarmed around me for weeks. Madame LaGrange. Everyone knew—everyone,’ she said vehemently. ‘Occasionally her name will still drift into conversations around me. Now you buy me ice and fuss over a portrait?’
Hearing Madame LaGrange’s name on her lips made him want to vomit. No one should know of their connection—not even Olivia. And somehow, someone saw him leave her room that day and word spread among the ton like fire through a wheat field in autumn. Even the servants knew. He would not allow anyone to find out that Madame LaGrange worked for him. He had made that mistake once before with Matthew, and it had cost the man his life.
For a moment it was years earlier and Gabriel was back in the garden in Richmond, flashes of lightning were slashing the inky blackness around him, rain poured onto Matthew’s bloodied body that was seeping his life out in Gabriel’s arms, and the last person on earth he thought would betray him was standing over him, pointing a gun at his chest. It had become his reoccurring nightmare ever since.
How could he possibly explain to Olivia that he’d never bedded Madame LaGrange without divulging the woman’s secret? A secret he would take to his grave. No one was ever going to die again because he placed his trust in the wrong person.
The pain dulling her eyes sliced through him. ‘I never meant to hurt you.’
It was all he could say.
She lowered her head, her face now obscured by her bonnet. Although they were married just a few months before Nicholas was born, in that time he had come to care deeply for her. His lies of omission had cost them both.
When she raised her head, he caught the determination in her eyes. ‘If you ever had any kind regard for me at all, you will grant me one thing.’
‘What is it that you want, Olivia?’
‘I want another child.’
That was not what he expected her to say. His thoughts had been on the portrait. ‘Olivia, I’ve always wanted more children with you.’ Now hopefully Nicholas would know what it was like to grow up with a brother or sister.
Olivia stared sightlessly at her reflection in the mirror on her dressing table while Colette brushed her hair. Her thoughts kept returning to her conversation with Gabriel earlier in the day. Confessing how she felt about him had been liberating. For years she wanted to tell him what a scoundrel she thought he was. Instead she’d stood silently by pretending she was indifferent to him when deep down she despised him for his betrayal.
She despised him for making her believe he might have had tender feelings for her. She despised him for making her feel as if she were not good enough for him. And she despised him the most for being the man she had fallen in love with.
Now that she’d told him what she truly thought of him, some of her hatred had lifted. She understood what place she had in his life, and now he knew what place he had in hers. She could not allow her feelings for him to return. It would be too painful.
‘There’s no need to plait it, Colette,’ Gabriel’s deep voice rumbled from the doorway connecting their rooms.
The hairbrush Colette was using fell to the floor. Perhaps she should have warned her maid that Gabriel would be coming to her room tonight.
‘That will be all, Colette,’ she said, finding it hard to stop staring at him. He was lounging in the doorway with casual elegance, wearing a navy silk-brocade banyan and holding two glasses in one hand. In the other, he held a bottle. It had been years since she had seen him out of his impeccable attire and it took her a moment to remember to breathe.
‘I did not hear you open the door,’ she said.
‘Perhaps you were too wrapped up in your thoughts,’ he replied, pushing off from the doorframe and advancing towards her. He poured out the ruby-red liquid into each glass and handed her one. ‘It is the ninety-eight Château Lafite. As I recall, it was your favourite.’
‘How is that possible? Bennett has been searching for that vintage for years.’
‘That’s because Bennett does not know about the bottles I have hidden away.’
‘From me?’
‘No, I simply have a few bottles left locked in my study.’
‘And you have not drunk them?’
‘The Lafite was your favourite. I had no desire to indulge until now.’
‘I thought that might have been port. I remember thinking I was quite bold when we would drink it together in our rooms,’ she replied. The wine tasted just as rich and smooth as she remembered.
‘You always enjoyed trying new things.’ His eyes dropped to her mouth as she licked the taste of the wine from her lower lip.
‘You never made me feel self-conscious.’
‘I enjoyed your enthusiasm for things I long took for granted.’ He stepped closer and poured more wine into her glass.
‘Are you attempting to get me tipsy?’
‘I thought both of us could use something to relax us.’ He took a slow drink from his glass, his eyes not leaving hers.
‘You expect me to believe you are nervous?’
Gabriel shook his head. ‘I did not say I was nervous. Apprehensive might be a better word.’
‘Because?’ Oh, she really needed this wine. He was much too close and smelled wonderful.
‘Because I want to depart from your bedchamber without having a piece of porcelain flung at my head.’
So he wanted to lay the cards on the table. That was fine with her. ‘Continue to be your delightful self and we should have no problems. I do have two requests, though.’
‘Of course, how may I be of service?’
‘Since this is a temporary reconciliation of sorts, there is no need to pretend otherwise to the ton.’
‘You wish for our accord to remain a secret.’
‘I wish to avoid the questions that will arise when our behaviour towards one another returns to its usual state.’
He studied her as if she were a complex puzzle he was attempting to decipher. ‘It may not.’
Her
