but me with the intelligence she collects.’
She turned fully to face him. ‘You expect me to believe this.’
‘It is the truth. Madame LaGrange provided me with the information on Janvier. That is how I knew he was behind the assassination attempt. It was an exchange of information that took place, nothing more. I never told you because I never trusted you, but I do now. I love you.’ It came out as a rush, as if his soul had been waiting to say it for so long.
There was no response. Olivia just stared at him. It was gut wrenching, and he stopped breathing. It was too late. Even with his declaration she could not forgive his deception and his lack of faith in her.
He had a strong urge to rub at the stone of his ring, but his right arm was bandaged to his chest. She hadn’t walked out yet. Maybe he could still reach her. ‘I couldn’t tell you about her years ago. We were newly married. We barely knew each other and from the time I was a small boy my father had taught me to trust no one.’
‘What did you think I would do?’
‘I was betrayed once by someone I held dear. That trust cost someone their life. It’s not easy to trust again when your friend’s life slips away in your arms because they were shot by someone you trusted.’
‘Did you receive the scar Nicholas found from the person who betrayed you?’
‘I did. He intended to kill me. Fortunately he did not.’
As if it were yesterday he could feel the bullet rip into his torso again and see Peter aiming the second shot at his head. Olivia would never know that his brother had murdered their uncle to save Gabriel. She would always believe that he was killed in a robbery. Andrew didn’t deserve to be looked at differently.
‘Trust does not come easily to me, Olivia. I am responsible for the men and women who risk their lives every day to protect the Crown. On the night Nicholas was born, Madame LaGrange sent me a letter saying she needed to speak with me. She had worked for my father before he died so I knew this was not a social request. There was a threat against the King and she recounted what she had heard. You see, men go to her establishment and, under the influence of drink and a welcoming female, they will say things they never would in the light of day. If any of those men found out that she tells their tales her life would be in danger. A man with interest in harming the Crown would think nothing of slitting the throat of a woman who provides her services or any of the girls that work there for that matter.’
‘But I smelled her on you that day. You cannot deny that.’
‘She has an eye for fashionable clothes and admires my taste. In her profession she is accustomed to touching men. Her perfume might have rubbed off on me when she touched my coat or played with my cravat when she takes note of a new way to tie it. Over the years she has refused to give her information to anyone but me.’ He rubbed his hand on his trousers. ‘Know this—from the time I have courted you, I have never been intimate with another woman.’
‘I wish I could believe you.’
The fact that she was listening to him gave him hope. ‘I speak the truth, Olivia. My desire for other women stopped the moment I set eyes on you. I never strayed from our marriage vows. But my people like Madame LaGrange put their trust in me to keep their identities secret. Should I have told you and she had been killed, I somehow would have found a way to blame myself and maybe even you.’ He searched her gaze. ‘I never meant to hurt you, Livy. I am so sorry.’
She glared at him with angry reproachful eyes and stormed across the room, stopping in front of him. Her hands were balled into fists and he braced himself.
‘For years I hated you. Years! So many times I wanted to burn the letters you wrote to me. For years I wanted to sell the jewellery you had given me. And for years I wanted to remove every scrap and shred that reminded me of a time I thought you cared for me.’ She looked like she was fighting the urge to kick him. ‘You let me believe all those lies. You let me hate you.’
‘I had no choice.’
‘But I loved you...’ It came out as the faintest whisper as tears rimmed her eyes.
He closed the distance between them and with his one good arm he pulled her gently to him. She rested her head lightly against his left shoulder and he held her there, never wanting to let her go.
‘It has always been you, Livy. I’ve never wanted anyone else.’
‘Say it again.’
He looked down into her watery eyes. ‘There never has or ever will be another woman for me. I have wanted only you from the moment I saw you dancing with Lyonsdale and nothing and no one will ever change how I feel about you.’
She let out a small choked sob.
‘Dear God, I didn’t mean to make you cry. Please, Livy, don’t cry.’ He was pleading with her. She was the only one in the world he would lower himself to beg. Looking into her eyes, he no longer saw anger. There was something else.
‘Will you stay? I couldn’t bear it if you left me,’ he said.
‘Will you promise to always be honest with me?’
‘I will. I love you, Livy, with all my heart and all that I am, I love you.’
‘And I love you. I always have.’
He had been so afraid he would never convince her to stay. Leaning closer, he kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss because he was afraid she would disappear before his eyes. They would start over again and this time nothing would tear them apart.
Waking up next to his wife placed Gabriel in an exceptional mood, in spite of being shot. The morning light filtered through the window of his bedchamber, casting a warm glow on Olivia’s bare back. The soft, white sheet skimmed the top of her enticing backside as she slept on her stomach next to him. Her breathing was deep and steady, telling him she was sound asleep, which allowed him to look his fill.
Unable to resist, he skimmed the fingers of his left hand over her bottom. Her low groan made him chuckle.
‘I pray you, I can no longer feel my legs,’ Olivia mumbled into her pillow.
‘I am simply touching you.’
She turned her sleepy head towards him and opened one eye. ‘That was what you said last night when you somehow coaxed me to straddle you.’
‘My injury prevented me from using any other position. In addition, I do not recall you complaining at the time.’
‘I was being polite.’
Gabriel laughed. ‘My love, last night you were everything but polite.’
‘If I could move, I would smother you with this pillow. How is your shoulder?’
Thank goodness the dressing was still intact. ‘Sore, but there is no blood on the bandage. That is a good indication all is well.’
She rolled onto her side, pulling the sheet up. ‘You
