‘...I wanted to see if you were sorry.’
He looked at her for a long moment and then his eyes narrowed and he gave a humourless laugh. ‘Ah. Now I understand. You thought you’d punish me, is that it? The strip show was for my benefit. All the “look at me” surfing sessions were designed to make me suffer. All of it was designed to make me suffer. What we shared wasn’t water under the bridge. You weren’t indifferent. You were getting revenge.’
‘It wasn’t revenge.’ Tasha felt her face grow scarlet as she defended herself. ‘I wanted to prove to myself that you were nothing more than a childish crush. The way I felt about you back then was— Actually, I don’t even want to think about it. It’s just too embarrassing. And, yes, I was angry with you. You behaved like a complete and utter bastard.’
‘I know.’
‘And then you—’ His words penetrated her brain and she broke off and stared at him. ‘What did you say?’
‘I said I know. I know I treated you horribly.’
‘Y-You do?’ Stunned by his blunt admission, she stared at him. ‘You knew that?’
‘Of course. That’s why I was so surprised when you waltzed blithely into my hospital room and offered to help me out. Frankly, I was expecting a black eye from you, not assistance.’ He watched her cautiously. ‘Clearly I was right to be suspicious of your motives.’
‘But—’ Anger shot through her. ‘If you knew you’d behaved horribly, why didn’t you ever say anything? You could at least have said sorry.’
‘That would have defeated the purpose.’
‘The purpose?’ Tasha stared at him blankly. ‘I don’t get it.’
‘The purpose was to make you hate me,’ he said gently. ‘If I’d apologised, it wouldn’t have worked, would it?’
‘You—you wanted me to hate you? Why?’
He gave a crooked smile. ‘Because every time I walked into a room you looked at me as though I was the only person there. Because you thought you were in love with me. You were crazy about me, and—’
‘All right, all right.’ She held up her hand like a stop sign. ‘Can this get any more embarrassing? Enough! I know exactly how I behaved. There’s no need to rub it in.’
‘I was going to say, “and I was crazy about you”.’ He spoke the words so softly she wondered if she’d misheard.
‘You—’
‘I’d never been with anyone who behaved as normally around me as you did.’
‘I hero-worshiped you.’
‘I know, and that was sweet, but the best part was that you were such fun. You were so unselfconscious. The first time I visited you kept trying to remember to call me Your Highness and then you just gave up and called me Sandro, and you were the first person who had ever done that. And you were so beautiful...’ He shifted position awkwardly, unconsciously trying to ease the pain. ‘Too beautiful. Josh introduced you as his kid sister but it didn’t take me long to realise you weren’t a kid. Especially when you wore those bikinis.’
Tasha watched him, her heart thumping. ‘I wanted you to notice me.’
The corners of his mouth flickered. ‘I noticed you.’
‘And then there was the ballgown.’
‘I wondered when we were going to talk about that. That night at the ball—’ his eyes glittered ‘—I couldn’t believe Josh had agreed to take you. The only way I’d kept my distance was because I kept telling myself you were a kid. And Josh kept telling me you were a kid. And then suddenly you were standing there in this scarlet dress that made you look like a sex goddess—’
‘You remember what I was wearing?’
‘And suddenly telling myself that you were a kid didn’t seem to be working.’ His eyes were very dark. ‘It didn’t help that you were so wildly determined to lose your virginity that night. To me.’
Mortified at the memory of how brazen she’d been, Tasha covered her face with her hands. ‘Do we have to talk about this? Isn’t there just a nice deep hole I can jump into?’
‘I wanted you, too.’
‘Oh, sure.’ Still cringing, she shook her head. ‘Which is why you kissed me senseless and...’ He’d touched her, she remembered. Everywhere. The memory sent fiery heat streaking through her. ‘And then you walked away.’
‘And why do you think I walked away, Tash?’
His intimate use of her name made her heart thud. ‘Because you discovered I was flat-chested? Because I had no idea what I was doing?’ His skill had left her trembling and boneless whereas she’d fumbled awkwardly, unsure of herself and of him.
‘I stopped because it was the right thing to do, and that is probably the only time in my life I’ve done the right thing, so you should be grateful, not angry,’ he confessed in a raw tone. ‘I didn’t know if you were a child or a woman. Damn it, I went into your bedroom to give you a message one day and your bed was covered in stuffed toys! One minute you were doing your homework, the next you were wearing a tight red dress designed to drive a man out of his mind. I wanted—well, never mind what I wanted. But I knew I had to do something drastic. That night of the ball I’d promised myself I was going to behave like a real prince. I was going to dance with you and not do anything else. But then we went out to the garden to get some fresh air and the next minute—’
‘You don’t need to spell it out.’
‘Believe me, walking away without looking back was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I hurt you, but at the time I couldn’t see any other way. I wanted you to hate me.’
‘You could have just told me you weren’t interested.’
‘I was interested. There was a chemistry between us I’d never experienced before. It was crazy, and—’ He broke off. ‘You were seventeen. Apart from anything else, it was barely legal.’
A warm glow burned low in her stomach. He’d wanted her, too. Tasha wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Plenty of people have sex at seventeen.’
‘You had your head in the clouds and your eyes on the stars. You were still more of a child than a woman and I had no idea how to handle someone like you. The women I mixed with were usually my age or older—heiresses, society princesses who’d been fed cynicism and experience with baby milk. You were different.’
‘And it didn’t occur to you to have that conversation with me?’ Tasha swung her legs off the bed and stalked over to him, her eyes boring into his. ‘I had a brain, Sandro. And a mind of my own.’
‘I did the decent thing.’
‘Decent? You broke my heart, Sandro. You...’ She spread her hands, appalled. ‘What the hell is decent about making a girl feel totally rubbish about herself? Please tell me that.’
‘I
