left. It was her deepest shame. It had almost killed her but she’d had to get away. It was better for everyone that she leave, despite how much she missed her sister, and Emily. She wanted Alexis and her family to be happy. For her to hang around, wishing she was a part of their close-knit group, hadn’t been healthy for any of them.
Dropping her purse on the table, which had obviously been confiscated from the bistro, she put the kettle on to heat water to make tea. Sweet iced tea was her drink of choice. No matter where she lived she took that small pleasure with her. Even in the cold early spring weather she couldn’t give up that small part of her growing-up years. It was one of the passions she and her sister shared. She wouldn’t go there. Spending her evening crying wasn’t part of her plan.
Taking a deep breath, she moved to her bed, pulled off her business suit and replaced it with sweatpants and sweatshirt, then she tugged on slouchy socks.
The streetlight below her windows flickered on, washing the room in a warm glow that only added to her loneliness. She clicked on a lamp on her way back to the stove and after pouring the hot water over the tea bags and sugar she reached for a can of soup from the open cabinet.
She’d gone from carrying a baby and living in her sister’s home, where love abounded, to a shabby room in an enormous impersonal city. She sank into one of the two chairs she had and put her face in her hands.
Stop it. Get a hold of yourself. You can survive this. You have to make your own life.
* * *
The next afternoon, she entered Daniel Hancock’s room to find Ryan leaning back in a chair as if he made social visits to the teenage boy’s room regularly. Ryan had removed a tumor from the sixteen-year-old’s brain stem the week before.
“Ah, Ms. Edwards, just the person we were looking for,” Ryan said, as if he was genuinely glad to see her, which created suspicion in her mind.
He’d made it clear the day before that he wasn’t interested in her being involved in his cases unless he thought she was needed. Now he acted as if they were old friends and he was planning to ask her a favor. She was unsure how to read his attitude change. Up until this moment she would have characterized their relationship as two dogs circling each other, trying to decide how not to get in each other’s way.
She’d play along. Approaching the end of the bed, she smiled at Daniel. “What can I do for you two gentlemen?”
“I was just telling Daniel that he can’t return to school right away. That he’ll need to be home-schooled for a while until his site heals. Can you help to arrange that?”
“I’ll see about it right away.”
“Did you know that Daniel’s the star of his high-school baseball team?”
“I had heard that.” In fact, his future had begun to disappear when he hadn’t been able to control his hand movements. Now, because of Ryan’s skill, Daniel had a chance at his dream again. She could forgive some of Ryan’s brashness for that alone. He might lack empathy at times but he had major surgical skills.
Ryan stood and, grinning, said to Daniel, “I hope to see you playing for the Yankees one day soon. I’ll leave orders for the teacher to be cute and like baseball—how does that sound?”
Daniel gave him a weak smile but seemed pleased.
Ryan offered his hand to the teen. Lucy appreciated the way Ryan showed his respect for the young man by treating him as an equal. It was a way of giving Daniel a sense of control in a place where he felt he had none. Why hadn’t Ryan given the same consideration to the mother the evening before?
She followed Ryan out of the room. “You know, Lucy, having you readily available may be a good thing after all.”
“It isn’t my job to be at your beck and call.”
“Maybe not, but so far it’s working out well.” He grinned and walked off.
And she’d thought moving to New York was going to make her life easier. How long was this coordinated patient care agreement supposed to last?
Hours later all she wanted to do was go home and fall asleep. Instead, she was hunting down Ryan for a signature on a couple of forms. She knew the vicinity of his office but she’d never been there. Punching the automatic door-opener on the wall, she waited then passed through a set of doors that led into a short hallway. Here she was no longer in the sunny land of the patients’ hall. Instead, it turned into the practical world of business. She searched the uniformed name plates until she found Ryan’s beside the second door on the right. It read: “Dr. Ryan O’Doherty, Associate of Neurosurgery”.
She’d heard talk about Ryan not getting the department head job. Most of the nurses were surprised. They’d all thought he would be a shoo-in. Apparently popularity wasn’t the deciding factor. If it had been and the staff had voted, it would have been unanimous. Even in the OR, where the pressure was greater and personalities sometimes clashed, the staff all seemed to appreciate Ryan’s skill and winning ways. She just wished some of those winning ways would spill over when she had to deal with him.
His office door stood partially open. She knocked and waited. No answer. The forms had to be signed tonight or first thing in the morning. Maybe she should page him? No, she didn’t want to do that. She’d just leave the forms on his desk and text him, asking him to sign them before he went into the OR. She rolled her eyes. She was sure he’d be real glad to hear from her.
Apprehensive about entering Ryan’s private space without permission but thinking she had no choice, she stepped into his office. His ever-present lab coat lay across the back of his desk chair. He must have gone for the day if he didn’t have it on. On the other hand, his office door was open.
She placed the papers on his desk and picked up a pen lying there to write him a note. Maybe he would see them before she had a chance to text him.
Ryan stepped out of an adjacent doorway into the room.
She squealed, jumped. Her hand went over her heart before it settled with a thump. “Oh.” Heaven help her, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She gulped. Coming into his office hadn’t been a good idea.
Ryan’s slacks hung low on his hips and his belt was undone. She couldn’t take her eyes off his chest. An expanse of muscle covered in a light dusting of hair.
“What’re you doing here?” he said brusquely. His tone stated clearly he wasn’t pleased to see her. He stepped behind his desk and pulled out a drawer. Removing a shirt, he slipped it on and began to button it.
She followed his movements as he worked his way up the shirt. His long, tapered fingers moved swiftly. Ryan was a large man to be doing such delicate work as brain surgery. She’d heard he had a gentle touch with the scalpel.
What would it be like to be caressed by him? What kind of question was that? She shook her head. The last thing she needed to do was get moony-eyed over Ryan O’Doherty.
“Lucy, did you need something or did you just stop by to gape? Or maybe snoop?” His tone had turned teasing but still held an edge of distrust.
She straightened and moved away from the desk, trying to gather her poise as she went. “I do not snoop!”
His mouth quirked at one corner. “Then gape? Because you’ve yet
