* * *
Lucy hadn’t heard from Ryan over the weekend. She’d not really expected to but she’d hoped he would at least call and check on her. It had felt good to share her burden with him. Just talking about Emily had made it easier. There had been a time she couldn’t have uttered the words. Now at least she could think about Emily without crying. If Ryan hadn’t insisted she talk, she might still be stymied by the pain. It wasn’t gone but it had eased.
On Monday she didn’t see Ryan until evening rounds and there was no opportunity to talk to him outside of giving reports on the patients.
They were just finishing up when Ryan announced to the group, “Miguel Rivera’s surgery is scheduled for tomorrow first thing.”
“I helped walk the mother through the insurance process and found them a place to stay while Miguel’s in ICU,” Lucy reported.
Ryan gave her a curt nod that held none of his usual humor. It was as if they were strangers again who knew nothing about each other and never intended to. He laughed and joked with the other staff members but hadn’t even spoken to her directly. This was worse than his reaction to her on the day they’d met. She hadn’t expected them to be best friends but she hadn’t anticipated being thoroughly ignored either.
She didn’t make it a habit of confiding in anyone other than her sister, and now that was gone she had no one. It disturbed her that the single time she’d stepped out beyond her safety zone she’d been treated like she didn’t exist.
Maybe she should give him the benefit of the doubt. Was he worried about Miguel’s surgery? Ryan had already proved that he was the kind of guy that compartmentalized. Still, she’d come to expect a certain attitude from him and she missed his easy grin.
Miguel’s surgery was an all-day affair. Lucy came to the hospital early so that she’d be available if the family needed her. She had to work harder than usual to keep her emotions in check. Miguel reminded her so much of Emily that she had to call on her professional persona and do what she’d been trained to do. During the day, between seeing to her other cases, she checked in with the family. She happened to be sitting with them when Ryan came in after surgery to speak to the family.
The dark blue scrubs he wore brought out his vivid eyes. He hesitated a second when he saw her. He looked tired, the lines around his mouth a little more evident. After giving her a brief nod, he turned his focus on the mother and grandfather waiting anxiously to hear what he had to say.
“You will translate?” Ryan asked, again without looking at her.
“Yes.”
Ryan didn’t go down to the mother’s eye level, but instead stood away from her. She looked up at him from where she sat. Disappointment filled Lucy. She’d hoped that what had happened the other night would make a difference in his rapport with families.
“Miguel’s doing well. He came through surgery fine but it will not be an easy recovery. He’ll be in ICU for a few days. If all goes well he’ll go out to the children’s ward after that. The first few days we have to be very careful.”
“Thank you,” the mother gushed, jumping up to wrap her arms around his waist.
Ryan looked shocked but patted the woman’s shoulder. “You’re welcome.”
Lucy might have found it comical if it hadn’t been for Ryan ignoring her.
He pushed away from the woman, shook the man’s hand and left without a backward glance. Lucy understood this time wasn’t about her but she still couldn’t help the disappointment she felt that Ryan hadn’t said something to her.
She’d planned to stay late in order to go into ICU with Miguel’s family for the first time. The boy’s nurse spoke enough Spanish to answer simple questions, allowing Lucy to leave without worrying about the family being on their own. She followed behind the Riveras as they left the unit. Ryan was sitting behind the unit desk. He looked up briefly and met her gaze before his eyes returned to what he was doing. A prickle along her spine said that he had watched her walk out the doors.
Where was the guy she’d thought might be a friend? She’d had enough of the cold-shoulder treatment. She was going to find out.
* * *
Ryan had just finished rounds for the evening. He’d done them later than usual. His clinical staff always knew that it would be a late night after he’d had a big surgery and made plans accordingly. Today was one of those days. He’d had his clinical nurse notify Lucy.
She was waiting along with everyone else in the hall, looking efficient and fresh despite the late hour. It had been a long day for her also. She’d been there every step of the way with the Rivera family. Ryan had been impressed with how well she seemed to be holding up under what had to be a difficult situation for her. To his discontent, he’d found himself worrying about her. Wondering how she was doing. That was a road he didn’t want to travel.
When she’d visited ICU with the family he had been aware of every move she’d made. She’d looked tired, but every bit as committed to the family as he’d hoped she would be. A couple of times she’d looked in his direction with questioning eyes that had also held disappointment. It had been far more difficult not to engage with her than he’d anticipated. Still, he thought it was for the best.
He made every effort to make it through rounds as efficiently as possible. Lucy spoke to each of the families before she left the patient’s room. The families had smiles on their faces when the door closed behind him and his group. She’d turned out to be a real asset. Without a word, she turned toward her office with determined steps.
Having finished on the floor, he headed to his office for a quick wash up before checking on Miguel. There would be no going home for him tonight.
There was a knock on his office door. A nurse coming to get him this late at night wouldn’t be good news. “Come in,” he called.
Lucy stalked forward, stopping in front of his desk.
“There’s a problem?” By the determined look on her face there must be. He had a nagging idea he knew exactly what was bothering her.
“Yes, I’d like to discuss something with you.”
Discuss? Lucy didn’t look like she was in a discussing mood. He’d never heard her sound so forceful, even more so than she’d been a few nights earlier. She’d shared her heartache with him the other night. That had scared him. He didn’t want to know anything else. “Lucy, it’s been a long day and I’m not really up for some major discussion if it’ll wait.”
“It won’t,” she snapped.
Apparently she was on a mission. “Then you can have a seat while I finish cleaning up.”
“‘I’ll stand.” She pulled her sweater tighter around her chest.
“As you wish.”
Her lips tightened. What would it be like to kiss those full lips into a smile of pleasure? Make her forget why she was here? Hadn’t he promised himself that he wouldn’t allow those thoughts? What he needed to do was find some nurse and take her out on a date. Have a good time.
He’d managed to keep Lucy at
