days without intimacy. He needed to free himself for new conquests. Those Texan girls didn’t know what they were in for. Jesse the Player. Jesse the Heartbreaker.
She thought back, puzzling, seeking clues. Philippe. It all came back to his visit. Maybe Jesse was concerned about the ongoing contact with her ex-husband. There wasn’t anything she could do about that. Amy deserved to have a loving relationship with her father and she was determined to facilitate that in any way she could.
What had Jesse meant? He’d asked her if she had something to tell him three times.
Did he want to know he had a place in her and Amy’s life when there was a father still so actively involved with his daughter—even though said father lived on the other side of the world?
Maybe Jesse wanted assurance.
Maybe Jesse wanted her to tell him how she felt.
Maybe she needed to tell Jesse she loved him, wanted him, would go to Houston with him. Would go anywhere with him—the Philippines, India, any old where. Because she realised with a huge whoosh of pain that made her double over with the agony of it that life without Jesse would be intolerable.
She got up from the bed. She had to find him. Tell him she loved him. And if it all blew up in her face, if she was after all the latest in a long line of discarded Jesse’s girls, at least she would have tried.
She clattered down the stairs of her apartment, waved to one of the waitresses who stood outside the door of the café talking on her phone. She kept her demeanour calm, her face controlled. As far as anyone else in Dolphin Bay knew, she and Jesse were just friends. It wouldn’t look right for her to be stressed and tearful and hunting around town for him.
But where could she find him?
She didn’t want to call him on his mobile phone to alert him she was coming after him. She went to the boathouse. No Jesse. His car was gone too.
If Jesse was indeed taking off for Texas tomorrow, surely he’d want a farewell swim at his favourite beach. She’d take a punt he’d gone to Silver Gull. If he hadn’t gone there she’d keep on looking until she found him. Even if she had to drive to Sydney and confront him at the airport.
No way was she going to let Jesse go until she’d made absolutely sure there was no hope left for them.
* * *
Jesse swam up and down the length of the beach, churning through the freezing water until his shoulder ached too much to go on. He’d had to fight a strong swell to get out beyond the breaking waves. That was nothing to the fight he’d had against himself. But the salt water and the vigorous exercise had cleared his head.
He’d been an idiot. The worst of the wussies. He’d let all the pain and fear from his early decision to avoid love make him act like an irrational, bad-tempered fool. He’d let the pain of Camilla’s old betrayal blind him to the fact that Lizzie was not Camilla. Lizzie had not set out to hurt him. He had hurt her.
While he’d raged against the idea that Lizzie was going back to her ex-husband, she had never actually said she was. Remembering the bewildered look on her lovely face made him realise his anger had stopped him thinking straight.
Now he understood what Lizzie had struggled with—jealousy could turn a person crazy.
He should have asked Lizzie outright about what he’d overheard. Instead he’d set her a test of honesty she hadn’t even known she had to pass. He’d been totally out of order. Cruel. Cowardly. Worse, he had betrayed the trust she’d worked so hard to build up from a baseline of emotional abuse.
He strode out of the water. Slung a towel around him and headed towards his car. He had to find her. Grovel. Apologise. Grovel some more. Tell her how much he cared for her.
Only to see Lizzie walking across the sand towards him. Her face was a mass of contradictions. Fear. Determination. And something else shining from her eyes that made his heart leap inside his chest.
He ran to meet her. But as he got closer she put up her hand to stop him. ‘Before you come any further, Jesse Morgan, I want to answer that question you kept asking me before—have I got anything to tell you?’
He groaned. ‘That was a mistake. I—’ But she spoke right over him in that blunt, determined Lizzie way.
‘I have got something to tell you. I don’t know if it’s what you wanted to hear but you’re going to hear it anyway. I love you, Jesse. I fancied you the moment I met you. Then I fell in love with you when you danced me around a deserted beach in the moonlight to the sound of the stars. Or maybe when you massaged my feet. It could even have been when you pulled coffees all day just to help me out. Whatever. I nearly lost you the first time through a silly misunderstanding and I don’t want to lose you again through another one. Is that what you wanted me to tell you?’
Her eyes were huge and her mouth quivered as she waited for his answer.
She loved him.
How could he have been such an idiot as to risk losing her?
He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her he loved her too and that she was the most amazing woman he’d ever met. That she had become his favourite person in the whole world. That it would be like wrenching out his soul if he couldn’t have her in his life. But that was beyond his limited skills as an orator. And he feared she wouldn’t welcome his touch. Especially as he was dripping salt water.
‘No, it wasn’t,’ he said. ‘You gave me a better answer.’
‘What do you mean?’ she said, hope struggling to life amid the woeful expression on her face. ‘You’re talking in riddles, Jesse, and I’m in no mood to try to solve them.’
He took a deep breath. ‘I overheard you talking to your ex. You hugged him, kissed him and said: “I will see you in Lyon. For the start of a new life.”’
Why the hell hadn’t he asked her that directly?
She frowned. ‘You were there? Listening?’
‘I heard every word of your farewell. Then, when we met up afterwards, I wanted you to tell me what you had meant by that promise to see him in Lyon. Did it mean you were going back to him? That’s the conclusion I jumped to. But if you say you love me, I guess you won’t be boarding a plane to France any time soon.’
She crossed her arms in front of her. ‘I certainly won’t be going back to Philippe. That was never, ever on the cards. Why didn’t you just ask me?’
‘Because I was a stupid, insecure idiot, too blinded by fear of losing you to think straight. So I’ll ask you now. Why are you going to France to see your ex-husband?’
‘You might be going too,’ she said.
‘Now you’re the one talking in riddles.’
‘Let me explain,’ she said, uncrossing her arms.
‘Please do,’ he said. Man, had he made a mess of this.
‘Philippe asked me to keep this secret for Amy’s sake. But you’re more important than keeping his confidence. He’s getting
