Two voices in unison. Their eyes met: hers grateful, his in accord.
‘Thanks for asking,’ Ethan added, his thumb moving reassuringly over her knuckles. ‘We’d like to be surprised in October.’
‘Lots of people still would, myself included.’ He noted their refusal.
Alina watched avidly as images formed on the screen. Goosebumps peaked on her skin as she made out a moving shadowy form floating on a black background. From the dark recesses of her mind voices begged her to shut her eyes. She didn’t.
The picture became clearer, the image bigger, as Gary manipulated the mouse, mouthing quiet satisfactory grunts as he worked.
‘Okay, we have two arms, two legs, good proportion of head to body. Right size for fourteen weeks...’ He jiggled something, the clarity increased, and then the cursor pointed to a tiny pulsating blob. ‘There—can you see?—your baby’s good, strong heartbeat.’
Her breath caught in her throat. Tears for her friends who would never experience this wonder filled her eyes.
A strangled gasp resonated at her side.
She swung her head and her own heartbeat stilled. Ethan’s lips were parted, his eyes big and glowing with amazement. His body leant forward as far as the table permitted. His rapt expression rebooted her heartbeat into aching double time. A lifetime ago she’d seen the same wonder on another face.
She watched his Adam’s apple bounce as he tried to swallow, heard his deep indrawn breath and emotional gruff tone.
‘Our baby. Gives a whole new meaning to the word “daddy”, doesn’t it?’
‘This is the moment it all becomes real,’ replied the technician.
‘Oh, yeah.’ Ethan’s smile could have lit up the city and then some. ‘Thank you, Alina.’
His misty eyes chipped at her defences. His next words, whispered by her ear, tugged at her heart.
‘Thank you for allowing me to be part of this incredible experience.’
She wiped a tear from his cheek and let her fingers rest on his skin. ‘It’s amazing, isn’t it? I know the baby’s there. I can see it moving. Yet I can’t feel anything.’
Her brain wouldn’t be forced into accepting ‘our’ or ‘my’. That was the plan. No caring. No bonding. The right to return to her solitary life with no past, only an uncertain future. The day she’d flown to Australia she’d had no doubts it was the best possible outcome.
Since meeting Ethan certainties were becoming cloudy and convictions ambiguous. Somewhere in the clump of wool that masqueraded as her decisive mind was the niggling certainty that this was being caused more by the man who was regarding her now as if she was all the treasures he’d ever dreamed of rolled into one than by her condition.
Ethan’s gaze swung from the monitor to Alina and back. He didn’t know whether to holler out loud or cry. That indistinct wriggling blur was his niece or nephew—living proof that he hadn’t totally lost the two people he loved most. Five weeks ago unpredictable and unbelievable. Now an almost touchable actuality.
In less than one of those rapid heartbeats he lost his heart. Utterly. Irrevocably. For ever. Our baby. Now he truly believed what he’d originally claimed for appearances’ sake. At that instant he became a father, silently vowing to become the kind of daddy his friend would have been.
His interest in the technology vanished. He was filled with reverent awe, seeing life as it began. In six months this tiny creature would emerge as a living, breathing person. His child, his responsibility for life. He wondered how he’d ever believed he was as unemotional as his parents. His heart had swelled fit to burst.
Alina brushed away tears he hadn’t realised he’d shed. Touched his cheek. A new softness shone in her beautiful eyes, curved in her smile. However deep she’d buried her maternal instincts, it wasn’t enough. The natural mother he suspected her to be was going to surface, no matter how hard she fought it.
His mouth felt dry, his chest tight. His heartbeat powered up. Whether because of their baby or her it didn’t matter. From this moment they really were a family. The voice in his head was telling him to somehow keep it that way.
‘Okay, Mum and Dad, I’ve got the information I need.’
Ethan blinked as the monitor clicked off. Over already? He wanted to watch longer, see more.
‘Check with the receptionist for your photos and DVD.’ The technician handed Alina a box of tissues. ‘Good luck. I might see you when you come in again.’
Ethan took the tissues and began to wipe off the gel, desperate to be physically involved, not wanting to come down from his euphoria. He concentrated on her stomach, absurdly self-conscious after revealing a side of him few people had ever seen.
Coward. He’d said thank you—a pathetic reward for the miracle she’d brought to him.
Throwing the tissues in the bin, he turned to meet compassionate violet eyes. A deep yearning, alien to his normal awareness, flowed through him. Along with the desire to cherish and protect as long as he lived. He shook with its intensity.
‘Ethan, are you all right?’
Her fingers rested on his arm. For her a friendly gesture. For him, much more.
‘Better than I’ve ever been.’
He smoothed her top down and helped her from the bench. Kissed her tenderly until he ran out of breath, needing her gentleness, her sweetness. Her.
‘Let’s go home, darling.’
* * *
After an early lunch Ethan drove to his parents’ home alone, psyching himself up for the confrontation. He’d always been the mediator, acting as a buffer for others. Not any more. Today he was the activist.
His parents’ judgemental nature along with their unachievably high standards had caused so many problems. He was convinced their agreement to Louise’s marriage had been motivated only by the idea of hosting a flash high society event. It was their interference that had motivated the newlyweds to move to Barcelona. Now they’d gone he had no one else to champion. Except the quiet beauty he’d left alone in their apartment, and the grandchild he might inform his parents was on the way.
He walked round the house, growling in frustration. It was ridiculous that their offspring had to use the front door like guests once they’d left home, that he had to ring the bell even though they must know he’d arrived. His greeting to his father was polite, yet clipped, the reply mundane.
‘This must be important, for you to take time off from work. Is it something to do with the estate?’
As expected, no welcome.
‘No.’
He walked straight to the lounge. His mother sat in her chair, perfectly groomed. Just once he’d like to see her in casual clothes, with mussed-up hair. His thoughts flew to the heart-warming image of his wife in the blue chainstore outfit she’d
