Heart Of Courage. Sue MacKay

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Heart Of Courage - Sue MacKay Mills & Boon By Request

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I’m sure you’ve got plenty of your own.’

      ‘Here’s one.’ But not so left field. Her T-shirt clung to her outline like a second, wrinkled skin, and left nothing to the imagination. ‘Will you refrain from staring at me as I waddle out of the water and wrap a towel around my waist?’ Except she didn’t have a waist any more.

      He should’ve laughed at that. He didn’t. Instead, he put an arm around her and began walking them towards the water’s edge. ‘Don’t talk like that. You’re beautiful and your pregnancy makes you glow: it does not make you ugly or fat or ungainly. It suits you. Please, believe me.’

      How could she not when he sounded so sincere? Looked at her like she was beautiful? Special even. Tears sprang to her eyes. ‘You say the nicest things.’

      Damn you.

      But of course he did. He was a playboy. A charmer. But... She’d swear his words were genuine. Not meant just to stroke her ego and win him a few brownie points. She was vulnerable at the moment. Doing this on her own was bound to make her susceptible to whatever Cooper said. Wasn’t it?

      Actually, no, she didn’t believe that. She was strong, and, despite baby hormones tearing into things, she was managing just fine—if she didn’t think about everything that could go wrong before, during and after the birth. After would be a lifetime. A lifetime of hoping she got her role as a parent right, never hurt her girl, never let her down, loved her unconditionally. How could she do that when she’d never experienced it? One thing she knew for certain—she’d never needed a man to tell her she was beautiful before, and she wasn’t starting now. She’d accept Cooper’s compliment for what it was, and enjoy it. ‘Thanks.’

      ‘I mean every word.’

      A warm glow that had nothing to do with the sun made her skin tingle. Could be that it might help, having him around occasionally. He’d lift her spirits on the down days.

      Cooper flicked a blanket out over the grass and opened a chilly bag to produce cold water for her and a beer for him. ‘We’ve got chicken and focaccia for dinner. Basic but the best I could find in that small grocery shop down the road from the base. I didn’t want to waste time going into town. You might’ve changed your mind about coming out with me before I got back.’

      ‘Once the idea of a swim was lodged in my mind nothing would’ve stopped me coming.’

      ‘My fatal charm had nothing to do with it, then?’ He grinned at her like he couldn’t care less what she thought.

      Grinning back, she said, ‘Nope.’ This easy banter between them was good, and fun, and helped her relax a little bit more. Wrapping her towel around her, she tucked it under her breasts and ignored the steady gaze Cooper directed at her. Ignored the urgent need cranking up in the pit of her belly, tightening muscles that hadn’t had a workout for more than seven months. Sinking down onto the blanket, she stretched her legs out, leaned back on her elbows to look upward and tried to ignore how he was gazing at the baby bump with something like dread in his expression.

      ‘It will all work out, Cooper.’

      ‘You think?’ Thankfully he shrugged into a shirt.

      ‘I hope,’ she said with a rueful smile, missing the view but hoping her internal heat would cool now.

      ‘You have doubts?’

      ‘Who doesn’t at this stage?’ He didn’t need to know what hers were. He’d probably hightail it out of the country without a backward glance. Despite common sense and the self-preservation she usually relied on, she wanted to spend time with him.

      Cooper threw her a curveball. ‘What does it feel like to be carrying a baby?’

      Where to start? ‘Awkward. Cumbersome. Wonderful. Exciting. Frightening.’ Ouch. Why tell him that? He’d have a multitude of questions, along with doubts about her ability to be a good mother.

      Cooper parked his butt beside her and reached for one of her hands, wrapped it in his larger one, making her feel delicate. ‘Tell me about frightening.’

      Her heart lurched. She shouldn’t have said that word but he had an uncanny knack of making her say things she never intended to. If only she had the strength to pull her hand free and forget the yearning his touch evoked. ‘Oh, you know. Am I going to be a good mother? How will I handle the birth? All the usual things expectant mothers apparently think about.’

      ‘Why wouldn’t you be a great mum?’ His thumb stroked the back of her hand.

      This was the problem with knowing nothing about each other. She had to expose herself, her vulnerabilities as well as her needs and concerns. But not all of them, or with any depth. ‘I didn’t have great role models growing up.’

      ‘That could be a benefit. You’ll be determined to do better, not make whatever mistakes your parents made with you.’ He sounded so sure of himself, so at ease with it all. And so right.

      Which annoyed her. ‘Easy to say if you’ve had the perfect upbringing.’

      ‘Does that even happen?’ he growled, and moved to put space between them, leaving her hand cold. Delving into the bag, he passed her some crisps. ‘Here.’

      Seemed like she’d touched a taboo subject. He’d wanted to know about her life, so he should be prepared to reciprocate with details about his. They’d come out for some time together and she didn’t want to spoil it with an argument. Her annoyance backed off too easily as she munched on a handful of crisps. It wasn’t often she got off base for some fun. Fun with a man she’d never quite got over, and knew would always hold a special place in her heart for giving her a child.

      While devouring bulging triangles of focaccia and chicken, they talked about things that had nothing to do with the baby—army life, their medical careers, travel. For the first time since that blue line had appeared on the stick Sophie felt completely at ease and was just thinking she could do this every day for the rest of her time in Darwin when Cooper blew the evening apart.

      ‘Sophie.’ His voice was husky and thick. ‘I’ve been thinking. Let’s get married. I can support you if you want to be a full-time mum. That way I’d always be a part of our daughter’s life and you wouldn’t have to take all the responsibility. What do you think?’

       CHAPTER FOUR

      ‘MARRY YOU?’ BUT... ‘I can’t.’ But... Sophie spluttered water over her front. They didn’t know each other. There was certainly no love between them. But...

      Cooper looked startled. ‘Can’t? You’re not already married?’

      Sophie shoved awkwardly to her feet as hurt lanced her. ‘How dare you? You think I’d have had sex with you if I was married? Even in the circumstances you believe I’d be unfaithful? Thanks a million, buster.’ She was shouting and couldn’t care less that people on the other side of the grove were staring. Cooper had handed her the biggest insult he could find. Then her stomach tightened, sending pains shooting in all directions. ‘Ah.’ She wrapped her arms around her belly and held her breath. This hurt, big time.

      ‘You okay?’ Cooper had risen to his feet too. ‘Sophie, talk to me.’

      Breathe.

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