was speechless. Was she serious? She’d sure sounded that way. Wow. He bit back an inappropriate quip he might otherwise have used to keep from accepting such high praise. It was one thing to do his job well and serve his country—that was the norm—but to be held up as the perfect adult male example for the little boy Zoe loved with all her heart was something else. Something far beyond regular service.
He busied himself settling Star in her kennel rather than respond to Zoe’s statement. No matter what he said in response, it was bound to sound like either bragging or begging for further praise.
Truth to tell, she had just given him the best compliment of his entire life and he didn’t know what to do or say, other than to let it pass without comment. He wanted to thank her somehow, to admit how deeply touched he was, yet he refused to reveal that much raw emotion for fear of disgracing himself.
Whether Zoe knew it or not, she had just put a crack in the thick stony wall he’d trusted to keep his heart and his warrior spirit intact.
Now he’d have to make sure he didn’t permit her to widen that gap enough to step through or he might never recover.
Wind was gusting off the surrounding hills, lifting fine dust and sand that stung Zoe’s cheeks as they crossed the tarmac toward an open hangar. North of the airfield, rows of fighters stood in neat lines, forming their own ready ranks.
Linc touched her arm to get her attention and pointed to a sleek aircraft doing touch-and-go landings. “Your student?”
“Maybe. After basic, they’re assigned to one of four advanced-training tracks—bomber and fighter, airlift and tanker, advanced turboprop or helicopters.”
“That makes sense, I guess.”
“It does, particularly when a pilot ends up assigned to fly large transport and tanker aircraft instead of fighter jets.”
“Who decides?”
Zoe turned her back to the gusts and used a hand to control wisps of her flyaway hair. “Thankfully, not me.”
“Got it.” Linc had to hold on to his blue beret to keep it from blowing away. “Let’s get inside before we end up taking to the air, too.”
A dash for the closest hangar with open doors brought them relief. No mechanics were working on the various aircraft housed there, which was a good thing because an exposed engine full of grit due to the open bay was far from acceptable.
She pointed to an office. “Daily rosters are posted over there. I’ll go check.”
“Where you go, I go.” Linc fell in beside her.
It only took her a few seconds to spot familiar names. “We must be living right. Ahern and Orleck are both on duty in hangar seven.”
“Okay. Before we go talk to them, let’s set some ground rules.”
“A pilot term. Nice.”
Linc was chuckling and shaking his head. “Total accident, I assure you. Tell me more about your dealings with Ahern first.”
“He’s a disgusting braggart. If he was one tenth as wonderful as he thinks he is, he’d have made chief master sergeant by now. That said, he’s a wiz with engines. Not as good on advanced avionics but not bad, either. I think younger guys like Orleck handle most of the electronic testing for him.”
“Speaking of Orleck, what’s the deal with him?”
“He pitched a fit when I washed him out. Once he’d blown off steam, however, he seemed to settle right down. I heard later that he was grateful for the change of direction. That’s the beauty of it. We have a variety of great jobs in the air force and if a person tries, he or she can be very happy, successful and satisfied.”
“What about you? Are you happy?” Linc asked.
She huffed. “I was, until they unfairly sidelined me. Now not so much.”
“What about in the rest of your life?”
Her eyebrows went up as her suspicion increased. “Are you asking about my brother again? Because if you are, remember what I told that nurse. I am not like Boyd. Never was, never will be. I’m not sure why he turned out so twisted, but whatever happened to him, I escaped that negative influence. Maybe it was because we had different mothers.”
“I wasn’t asking officially,” Linc said. “That was more of an existential question. I know you have Freddy and you love him to pieces, but what about the rest of the time? Are you generally happy?”
Deciding how to answer delayed her response. Finally, she paraphrased Scripture. “‘I have learned that whatever state I am in, for whatever reasons, to be content.’ The apostle Paul wrote that in his letter to the Philippians. He said it much better than I just did, but you get the gist.”
“You don’t wish things had been different, could be different?”
Zoe wasn’t sure what he was actually asking, but she didn’t intend to fall into the trap of assuming his query was personal. They had been discussing air force careers, so she replied in that vein. “There were times I thought I wanted to be a combat pilot. Now that I’m a mother, I’ve decided it’s too dangerous. My son only has me.”
“No grandparents?”
She shook her head and made a derisive sound. “My late father ruined Boyd by setting a terrible example and being totally convinced his only son could do no wrong. My mother is still living near the old Wadsworth family place in Dill, but she never had the backbone to stand up to Dad. She’s even worse in regard to my brother. Maybe she overcompensates because she’s his stepmother. All I know is, I would never give her another child to raise. Uh-uh. No way.”
“I get it. I love my mom dearly, and she did manage to get me through my teens, but it was more by accident than from making good choices.”
Smiling at him, Zoe spoke her mind. “I don’t like giving random credit. You can say I’m deluded if you want. You won’t be the first. But I firmly believe that God knew us when we were first being formed and becoming babies, just like the Bible says. He saw where we were going and what we’d become from the beginning.”
“Then why didn’t he stop your brother before so many people died?”
“I don’t know.” She refused to let him rile her. “I’m clueless about far more than I dream of ever understanding. But that doesn’t change my opinion. I can look back and see times where God intervened and saved me. I imagine you could, too, if you’d do it with an unbiased attitude.”
“For instance?”
“How should I know what’s gone on in your life? As for mine, I’ll tell you this. Boyd was already scary when we were kids. I loved him dearly, but I still wonder how many times he thought of murdering me in my sleep.
“And then there was my husband. John was a handsome smooth talker who had me thoroughly convinced he was some kind of super patriot—when
