slept here all night. But she did confirm you’re the father of her babies, although if you need a formal paternity test, that can certainly be arranged.”
“No. No tests. Unless Alyssa wants one.” He almost blurted out the truth, about how now that he thought about it, he knew exactly when they’d conceived. The one time he and Alyssa had gotten carried away and hadn’t used protection.
But this wasn’t the time, or the place, or the appropriate person with which to have this conversation. He needed to talk to Alyssa first.
No matter how difficult.
“She’s in Labor and Delivery room number five.” Kim smiled again. “Take your time. I have patients to see in clinic this morning so I won’t be back until later this afternoon, unless something changes.”
He nodded, feeling nervous. He made his way back down the hall of the labor and delivery suites. The door to Alyssa’s room was closed. He knocked, and then, when he couldn’t hear anything, opened the door. “Alyssa? May I come in?”
“Yes.” Her voice was weak, and he hesitated, wondering if his timing was bad. Maybe he should wait until she was fully recovered from her hypothermia episode.
Don’t be a coward, he told himself, pushing the door open and entering her room.
Her face was pale, framed by a cloud of her dark, curly hair spread out over the pillow. She looked better than she had when the paramedic unit had brought her icy-cold, limp body through the trauma room doors.
He’d never been so scared.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, tentatively coming closer.
She lifted a shoulder and smoothed a hand over her belly, as he’d often seen pregnant women do. There was something innately caring in her gesture. “Fine. They’re telling me the babies are doing well, which is all I care about.”
He didn’t necessarily agree, since her well-being was very important to him, but nodded anyway. She was so beautiful, especially now, with her body soft and round with child. His gaze dropped to her lush breasts, not entirely hidden by the shapeless hospital gown she wore. They were fuller than he remembered.
He swallowed hard and dragged his glance away. What was wrong with him? Alyssa wouldn’t appreciate his lustful thoughts. Especially after the way he’d left her so abruptly.
“Look, Jadon, I know you weren’t expecting this.” Alyssa, always direct, cut right to the heart of the matter. “But you need to know, I tried to call you. I left a message, but then the next time I called, your phone was disconnected.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, knowing she had every right to be upset as he pulled out his new cell phone. “My old cell phone was stolen.” And he wasn’t about to share the details of that story. At the time, he’d been lucky to have escaped with a mild concussion and a few cracked ribs. His cell phone and wallet had been the least of his worries. “I know it’s not an excuse, but I didn’t get your messages. See? New phone, new number.”
She stared at him with wide, solemn blue eyes. “You had a right to know about the babies, but please understand that, other than some financial support, I don’t expect anything from you.”
He scowled, annoyed with the way the conversation was going. “What do you mean? I’m their father.”
Her unblinking gaze bored into his. “Can you honestly tell me you’re here to stay this time? That you’ll be here for me and the babies no matter what? You’ll never need to take another unexpected personal leave of absence?”
For long moments he debated lying to her and reassuring her he was here to stay. But his life wasn’t his own. He had responsibilities. If his mother called, he’d have to drop everything to leave again.
And he couldn’t lie to Alyssa, even by omission.
Not about this.
“No, I can’t tell you that I won’t ever leave Cedar Bluff. But if I do have to leave, I’ll make sure to let you know first. And you can rest assured that, no matter what happens, I have every intention of being there to help support you and the twins. Emotionally support them, as well as financially.”
Her eyes widened in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected him to say that. “But you made it clear you weren’t interested in a serious relationship,” she protested, her eyes full of barely hidden anxiety.
“So did you,” he shot back.
She stared at him, unable to refute his claim. They’d blithely jumped into an intimate relationship, never considering the possible consequences of their actions.
“Obviously things have changed, for both of us,” Jadon continued. “I plan to be a part of my children’s lives, so you’d better get used to the idea.” She wasn’t going to get rid of him that easily. “I’ll give you some space now, because I don’t want to cause you any more stress while you’re supposed to be resting, but you can be certain I’ll be back later.”
She didn’t utter a word as he turned and walked away.
ALYSSA had no idea bed rest could be so boring. It seemed all she could think about were the things she couldn’t do. The next twenty-four hours crawled by painfully slowly. Daytime television was pathetic. She searched and searched for some Christmas-themed programs but didn’t find a single one. Where were all the wonderful Christmas shows she’d remembered watching as a kid? Didn’t they air them anymore?
She hoped the hospital carolers would come back. Or maybe the music channel on the television? She picked up the remote and turned it on, taking a deep breath when the lyrical sound of Christmas music filled the air.
She closed her eyes and hummed along, trying not to dwell on the four hospital walls holding her captive.
The problem with having nothing to do was that her thoughts kept going back to Jadon. He hadn’t made good on his threat to return, and she wasn’t certain if she was relieved by the lapse or disappointed. She tried to convince herself his absence was for the best. She needed time to get over the shock of knowing he was back. Somehow, she simply couldn’t believe he’d meant what he’d said.
He wanted to be a part of their children’s lives? Supporting them emotionally as well as financially? What exactly did that mean?
Was he envisioning some sort of joint custody agreement? Dual parenting? The thought of giving up her babies on alternate weekends made her feel sick.
So she tried not to think about their dubious future at all. Especially since Jadon hadn’t been able to promise he wouldn’t leave again. Maybe his definition of emotional support was different from hers. Once he understood the amount of work twins entailed, he’d likely disappear for good, just like her father had. She needed to keep her heart safe. No way did she want to be hurt like that again.
Several of her coworkers stopped by to see her, giving the occasional break in the monotony. Susan, her coworker in the ED, brought her a beautiful red poinsettia plant, which provided a cheerful, festive feeling to her room. Seth
