saying yes to?” There was an edge to his words, a desperation she hadn’t imagined he would feel, not with her. Not over this.
“Chase,” she said, closing her eyes tight. “Yes, Chase. Please. I need this. I need you.”
She needed all of him. And she suddenly realized why those thoughts about having someone to spend her nights with had seemed wrong. Because at the end of the day when she thought of sharing evenings with someone, when she thought of curling up under a blanket with someone, of watching Oklahoma! with someone for the hundredth time, it was Chase. It was always Chase. And that meant no other man had ever been able to get close enough to her. Because he was the fantasy. And as long as he was the fantasy, no one else had a place.
And now, now after this, she was ruined forever. Because she would never be able to do this with another man. Ever. It would always be Chase’s hand she imagined on her skin. That firm grip of his that she craved.
He flexed his hips, going harder into her, then slipped his fingers around between her thighs again, stroking her as he continued to fill her. Then he leaned forward, biting her neck as he slammed into her one last time, sending them both over the edge. He growled, pulsing inside of her as he found his release. The pain from his teeth mingled with the all-consuming pleasure rolling through her in never-ending waves, pounding over her so hard she didn’t think it would ever end. She didn’t think she could survive it.
And when it passed, it was Chase who held her in his arms.
There was no denying it. No escaping it. And she was scraped raw. As stripped as she’d been after their first encounter, she was even more exposed now. Because she had read into all those empty, unspoken things. Because she had finally realized what everything meant.
Her asking him for help. Her kissing him. Her going down on him.
Her not having another man in her life in any capacity.
It was because she wanted Chase. All of Chase. It was why everything had come together for her tonight. Why she’d realized she couldn’t compartmentalize him.
She wasn’t ready to think the words yet, though. She couldn’t. She did her very best to hold them at bay. To stop herself from thinking the things that would crumble her defenses once and for all.
Instead, she released her hold on the truck and turned to face him, looping her arms around his neck, pressing her bare body against his, luxuriating in him.
“That was quite the dance lesson,” she said finally.
“A lot more fun than it would have been in Ace’s.” He slid his hand down to her butt, holding her casually. She loved that. So much more than she should.
“Yeah, we would have gotten thrown out for that.”
“But can you imagine the rumors?”
“Are they really rumors if everyone has actually seen you screw?”
“Good question,” he said, leaning forward and nipping her lower lip.
“You’re bitey,” she said.
“And you like to be bitten.”
She couldn’t deny it. “I guess I should... I mean, I have to work tomorrow.”
“Me, too,” he said, sounding regretful.
She wanted so badly to ask him to stay with her. But he wasn’t bringing it up. And she didn’t know if the almighty Chase McCormack actually slept with the women he was sleeping with.
So she didn’t ask.
And when he dropped her off at her house, leaving her at her doorstep, she tried very, very hard not to regret that.
She didn’t succeed.
The best thing about having her own shop was working alone. Some people might find it lonely; Anna found it a great opportunity to run through every musical number she knew. She had already gone through the entirety of Oklahoma! and was working her way through Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
Admittedly, she wasn’t the best singer in the world, but in her own shop she was the best singer around.
And if the music helped drown out all of the neuroses that were scampering around inside of her, asking her to deal with her Chase feelings, then so much the better. She didn’t want to deal with Chase feelings.
“When you’re in love, when you’re in love, there is no way on earth to hide it,” she sang operatically, the words echoing off the walls.
She snapped her mouth shut. That was a bad song. A very bad song for this moment. She was not... She just wasn’t going to think about it.
She turned her focus back to the tractor engine she currently had in a million little pieces. At least an engine was concrete. A puzzle she could solve. It was tactile, and most of the time, if she could just get the right parts, find the source of the problem, she could fix it. That wasn’t true with much of anything else in life. That was one reason she found a certain sort of calm in the garage.
Plus, it was something her father knew how to do. He was his own mechanic, and weekends were often spent laboring over his pickup truck, getting it in working order so that he could drive it to work Monday. So she had watched, she had helped. It was about the only way she had been able to connect with her gruff old man. It was still about the only way she could connect with him.
It certainly wasn’t through musicals. It could never have been a desire to be seen differently by other kids at school. A need to look prettier for a boy that she liked.
So she had chosen carburetors.
“But it can’t be carburetors forever.” Well, it could be. In that she imagined she would do this sort of work for the rest of her life. She loved it. She was successful at it. She filled a niche in the community that needed to be filled. But...it couldn’t be the only thing she was. She needed to do more than fill. She needed to...be filled.
And right now everything was all kind of turned on its head. Or bent over the back of a pickup truck. Her cheeks heated at the memory.
Yeah, Chase had definitely come by his reputation honestly. It wasn’t difficult to see why women lost their ever-loving minds over him.
That made her frown. Because she didn’t like to think that she was just one of the many women losing their minds over him because he had a hot ass and skilled hands. She had known about the hot ass for years. It hadn’t made her lose her mind. In fact, she didn’t really think she had lost her mind now. She knew exactly what she was doing. She frowned even more deeply.
Did she know what she was doing? They had stopped and had discussions, made conscious decisions to do this friends-with-benefits thing. Tricked themselves into thinking that they were in control of this. Or at least that’s what she had been doing. But as she had been carried away on a wave of emotion last night, she had known for an absolute fact that she wasn’t in control of any of this.
“Doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.”
