I want to be with her because I want her, or because I feel responsible for the baby.’ Though he wasn’t going to tell Sebastian about the kiss during the scan. That complicated things even more. Had they both been caught up in the moment, the excitement of seeing the little life on screen? Or were they both trying to deny the inevitable? Were they meant to be together?
And then there was the issue of why she’d been so sure that he hadn’t needed to use contraception. He still hadn’t got to the bottom of that. He didn’t think Ella was a gold-digger, but there was definitely something she was keeping from him, and he hadn’t found the right way to ask her about it without causing a fight. ‘Right now, everything’s mixed up.’
‘I guess only time will tell,’ Sebastian said. ‘Just make sure you keep the lines of communication open.’
Oliver knew that was sound advice. ‘I will.’
‘Have you told your family yet?’
‘No. It’s too early.’
‘Fair enough.’ Sebastian paused. ‘Does Ella know about your family?’
The crunch question. Sebastian knew Oliver kept his background quiet at work, and why. ‘No,’ Oliver admitted.
‘You’re going to have to tell her at some point. And them. Especially if she’s going to be a part of your future.’
‘I know.’ He’d been thinking about that. He needed to introduce Ella to his family; and, given that they seemed to be reaching out to him right now, maybe their attitude towards his career might have mellowed and they’d accept him for who he was rather than who they wanted him to be. ‘My mother wants me to go to the annual Darrington pre-Christmas cocktail party.’
‘Then go,’ Sebastian said.
‘You know I haven’t been for years.’ He hated all that meet-and-greet stuff.
‘Things are different now. You need to introduce Ella to them. And,’ Sebastian counselled, ‘a party where there are a lot of people around would be a useful way of doing that.’
‘You mean, it’s in public so my parents will have to behave impeccably, and there will be enough other people there to dilute them?’
‘I didn’t say that.’ But Oliver could almost hear the smile in his friend’s voice, because they both knew what his family was like. Appearances mattered to the Darringtons. Sebastian, being a prince, was perfect friend material in their eyes. Ella came from a very different background, and it probably wouldn’t go down well.
Oliver didn’t need his parents to approve of Ella. Their relationship—if they could make it a real relationship—was just between the two of them. But he was starting to realise that family was important. Was there a place for his family in his future? Could they learn from the mistakes of the past and build some bridges?
‘Olly, I really have to go,’ Sebastian said. ‘Sorry. I’ll call you back when I’m out of my meeting.’
‘I’ll probably be in a meeting then myself, or in Theatre,’ Oliver said. ‘But you don’t need to call me back, Seb. I think you’ve already helped me work out the best way forward. Thank you.’
‘Any time. Good luck,’ Sebastian said. ‘And keep me posted on how things go.’
‘I will. And thanks again.’
Once he’d put the phone down, Oliver texted his mother.
Confirm will be there on Tomorrow. May I bring a guest? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.
The reply came back.
Of course. Look forward to meeting her.
Grilling her, more like, he thought. He definitely wouldn’t leave Ella on her own at Darrington Hall. Even if she did protest that he was wrapping her in cotton wool.
‘Mummy, look, it’s Santa!’ The little boy tugged at his mum’s hand and pointed to the room on the other side of the floor, and Ella couldn’t help smiling at the excitement on his face.
‘Santa’—often one of the consultants in a borrowed suit—paid a brief visit to Teddy’s every Wednesday afternoon in December, to see the siblings of all the new babies on the ward. The Friends of the Hospital group had raised money for gifts appropriate for different ages—a soft toy, colouring pencils and a pad, or a reading book—and it helped to make the older siblings feel that they were still special despite the new arrival in the family.
So who was it today? Oliver? Max?
Definitely not Oliver, because a couple of minutes later he came striding along the corridor. He paused in the doorway when he saw Ella, and smiled. ‘OK?’
Ella nodded, and glanced back at the mum she’d been checking over. She was busy with the baby and talking to her toddler, so Ella stepped out for a second. ‘You?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I wondered if you were, um, helping our friend in the red suit.’
He smiled. ‘That would be next week.’ For a moment, he took her hand and squeezed it. ‘Next year, our baby will see Santa.’
His voice was low enough so that nobody else would’ve heard. And that touch, combined with the expression in his eyes and what he’d just said, sent a thrill right through her. Especially when he added, ‘And I can’t wait. I know five months is still a bit young, but…’
Did that mean he wanted to take the baby to see Santa on his own? Or did he mean the three of them as a family? Not that she could ask. Yesterday, he’d kissed her; but then he’d said it was a mistake. Right now they seemed to be taking one step forward and two steps back.
Or maybe this was her chance to sound him out a little more. ‘The year after will be better,’ she said. ‘Because by then the baby will be talking and know what’s going on.’
‘We’re so getting a train set for the second Christmas,’ he said. ‘Whether we have a girl or a boy. Wooden trains are the best fun.’
And she could just see him kneeling on the floor with their baby, helping their little one put the train tracks together. Her heart constricted. But would she be there with him?
‘You’re going to be an amazing mum,’ he said. ‘Singing nursery rhymes and telling stories with all the voices.’
He’d been thinking about the future, then? Just the baby, or about them too? She let herself get carried away with the fantasy that it was all of them. ‘And you’re going to be the dad who does all the scary stuff—the highest slide in the park, pushing the swings as fast as they’ll go.’
‘That sounds good to me,’ he said. ‘But not that scary. I’ll always keep my own safe.’
Right at that second she wasn’t sure whether he was talking about the baby or her. And she so wanted it to be both of them.
‘Ella—can I borrow
