It’s all up to baby. You just have to hold my hand for the ride.’
He could do that. Glanced down at her hand, thin and suddenly fragile looking, as they set off again. ‘It would be an honour,’ he said very quietly. And it would be. She was blowing him away with her strength and serenity.
Simon and Tara, also holding hands again—spare me, he thought—appeared in the hallway and Maeve had a contraction before he could say anything.
Tara let go of Simon’s fingers with a smile and went towards them. No need to say anything. So he didn’t. Wasn’t really his place anyway.
And they didn’t ask. Their restraint was amazing and he could only follow their lead.
When the contraction was over, Tara murmured, ‘Good job. When did they start?’
‘About an hour ago.’
‘So what do you feel like doing?’ Tara was walking beside Maeve as they drifted down the hallway to the kitchen. Simon smiled at Rayne.
‘You should see your face.’
‘Shut up.’ But there was relief and he felt the smile cross his own face. ‘Geez, mate. Yesterday none of this was happening.’
‘I know. In that context you’re actually doing well. But open your letters next time.’
Rayne gave him a hard look. ‘Try being where I was and you might not feel so sure about that.’
The smile fell from Simon’s face. ‘You’re right. But I would never do something as stupidly noble as that. But I should have known you would. I’m sorry I was so quick to believe in your guilt.’
Rayne heard Maeve laugh at something Tara had said and looked at Simon and dropped the whole subject. This wasn’t about him. Or Simon. ‘How can she laugh?’
They both walked towards the kitchen. ‘See, that’s why I chose obstetrics over paediatrics.’
Rayne thought about the stress he’d been under already. ‘You think giving birth is funny? It’s a wonder you haven’t been killed.’
Simon laughed again and it felt good to loosen the tension between them. The dynamics were certainly tricky. Especially if he didn’t make the grade to stay around for the long haul. But he would worry about that later.
‘Rayne?’ Maeve’s voice.
He quickened his pace and left Simon behind. ‘I’m here.’
‘I want to go in the bath and Tara thinks it might be easier if I don’t have to move from this bath here to the one in the birth centre. So maybe we should go over there fairly soon.’
‘Sounds sensible to me.’ Sounded amazingly sensible. A hospital, or a birth centre at least with a hospital next door.
Louisa appeared. Caught on very quickly what was happening. ‘I’ll pack a hamper.’
He looked at her. Felt more tension ease from his shoulders. ‘You have a feeding fetish.’
‘Must have.’ She winked at him. ‘I’m too old for any other kind of fetish.’
Simon and the two girls looked at her in comical surprise but Louisa was off to do her stuff.
‘I’ll see you over there,’ Tara said. ‘I’ll go ahead and run the bath and then come back. We can check baby out when you get there. Take your time, unless you feel you have to hurry.’
What sort of advice was that? Rayne thought with a little flutter of his nervousness coming back. He for one felt like they had to hurry. But Maeve was nodding and doing a go-slow. She didn’t even look like making a move.
Simon said he’d leave them to it. Maybe go and see his dad and let him know what was going on.
Rayne watched him go and thought, So the obstetrician leaves? He looked towards Maeve’s bedroom. ‘Do you have a bag packed?’
‘Yep.’ She was just standing there with a strange little smile on her face, looking out the window at the Christmas fairy-lights in the back yard. The clock on the wall ticked over a minute. And then another. He felt like ants were crawling all over him.
‘Um. You want me to go and get the bag?’
She turned her head and smiled vaguely at him. ‘You could.’
So how was he supposed to find it? This must be the kind of stuff normal people talked about when they were planning to have a baby. People who had more than twelve hours’ notice they were going to be a support person in a labour. The woman would say, “My bag is in my wardrobe if we need it. My slippers are under the bed.” Bathroom kits and baby clothes would have all been discussed. Baby names!
He tamped down his panic again. ‘Where is the bag?’
‘Behind the door.’
At last. He could do something. He looked at Maeve as if she might explode if he left, and then turned and strode up the hallway for the bag. Was back within seconds.
‘Do you need anything else?’
She blinked. Smiled. ‘Are you trying to organise me?’
Sprung. ‘Uh. Just making sure everything is ready when you want to go.’
‘It’s really important—’ she was speaking slowly as if to a child who wasn’t listening ‘—that the birthing woman is the one who decides when to go to the birth centre. She has to feel like she needs to be somewhere else before she leaves the place she feels safe in now.’
‘So this is what you tell women in antenatal classes? About when they go to the hospital?’
‘And the men,’ she said with a patronising smile.
They went across to the birthing centre at nine o’clock. Walked across the road, slowly, because Maeve had to stop every few minutes. The stars were out. Christmas night. The air was still warm and Maeve was wearing the sarong.
He had her overnight bag over his shoulder, the hamper from Louisa in one hand and Maeve’s elbow in the other.
‘It’s a beautiful night,’ Maeve said after a very long drawn-out breath.
Yes. Yes, beautiful, he thought. Come on. ‘Yep. You okay?’
She had another contraction and they stopped again.
Tara met them at the door. Nobody else was in labour so they had the place to themselves.
The midwife on duty was over at the hospital but would come across for the birth.
Angus was the doctor on call for obstetrics and would wait outside the door in case they needed him. All these things he found out in the first three minutes because he had requests, too! He really didn’t know if he could handle a lifetime of responsibility for Maeve. What if something went wrong?
Tara sent him to make
