realise that but I didn’t expect that every second person would ask me if I have children. I bet they don’t ask you the same thing, do they?’
‘Some do,’ he admitted, ‘but I guess it probably is more of a question between women.’
‘They all seem to assume that if a woman is working in family health or paediatrics or obstetrics she would either have kids or want them.’
‘But you do want them.’
‘Yes, but I don’t want to think about it all the time. Obviously my divorce has changed my plans somewhat. I’m not exactly in a position to start a family but I don’t want to tell clients my life story.’
‘Fair enough.’
‘I guess I hadn’t anticipated that the subject of children would be raised so often. I need to find an answer to the most popular question, which is, “So, Luci, do you have children?”’
‘Why don’t you just tell them that you’re only young? You’ve got plenty of time.’
It wasn’t a bad suggestion. It wasn’t Seb’s fault that time wasn’t on her side but he didn’t know that.
‘A lot of these mothers are younger than me. I don’t want them to feel I’m judging them. If I had my way I would have had children by now. All I’ve wanted, all my life, was to have kids and to be a young mum. My parents are old. Dad is almost seventy and Mum is a couple of years younger. They are wonderful parents but growing up I really noticed their age. Especially in my town where so many people start their families young, my parents could have been my grandparents and I didn’t want to be like that. I also want more than one child. I was an only child and I didn’t want that for my kids. Having a family has been my dream since I was a teenager.’
‘Why don’t you tell them you’re waiting for the right man, then?’ He scooped up the last mouthful of his dinner and didn’t speak again until he’d finished it. ‘Or do you think you had the right one in Ben?’
‘Obviously I did when I married him.’ She had thought that was it for her. As far as she’d been concerned, her life had been sorted when she’d walked down the aisle and become a wife. Until she’d found that it could easily be unsorted.
Ben couldn’t have been the right man for her. If he had been, surely they’d still be together? Or perhaps she just wasn’t the right woman for him. But when they’d got married she hadn’t known what else was out there. Neither of them had. Ben had found someone he felt suited him better and Luci had to hope that there was someone else out there for her too.
What would her perfect man be like?
She looked across the table. She suspected he would be a lot like Seb. That was dangerous territory. She needed a change of topic. A safer direction. ‘How was your week?’ she asked. ‘I barely saw you. Have you changed your mind about sharing the house?’
‘No. I wanted to give you some space. Being around you was testing my limits. It’s been difficult to put you in the “friend” zone so I thought it would be best if I stayed out of the way. I’ve been working on my boat.’
Hearing Seb put their situation like that made her wonder if she wanted to be in the ‘friend’ zone. She didn’t think she did but she was still confused about what she should be doing. It was still safer not to do anything. He hadn’t apologised for kissing her. She was glad about that. The kiss had been good, she didn’t want an apology, but she wasn’t ready to revisit it either.
He was looking at her so directly but she couldn’t respond. It was safer not to reply to his comment. To break eye contact, she stood and picked up their empty bowls, clearing the table. She took the bowls to the sink and rinsed them, keeping her back to Seb.
‘You don’t need to stay out of the house, that doesn’t seem fair.’ She found her voice once she wasn’t looking at him.
‘I thought it was easiest for both of us. I promised I wouldn’t make you uncomfortable.’
‘I’m not uncomfortable. I just can’t jump into another relationship.’ Even though she was tempted. ‘I know I should spread my wings but jumping into something with the first man who crosses my path doesn’t really fit that. I think I need to test the water. I’ve never even been on a proper first date. Maybe I should be the one who spends more time out of the house. Maybe I should meet some more people.’
Seb had been hoping to hear Luci say she’d made a decision. His ego had let him believe that if he gave her time and space she’d miss him. But perhaps she had a point. Perhaps she did need to meet other people. Perhaps then she would see that he could be the perfect person with whom to test the water.
But maybe he had a solution to this dilemma.
‘I’ve been invited to a dinner party tomorrow night. If you’d like to come with me it would give you a chance to meet some other people.’
He hadn’t actually thought about going until just now. The whole premise of the evening hadn’t appealed to him but now, with Luci’s provisos, it was suddenly more attractive.
When Ginny had invited him he’d declined the invitation. That had become his habit over the past three years but he knew Ginny wouldn’t mind a last-minute change of mind. They had been friends since high school and she had made a lot of effort to keep in contact, especially recently. Even when Seb had been difficult and unsociable, Ginny had kept him in the loop, inviting him to parties and functions. He’d declined almost all of her invitations but he appreciated the fact that she hadn’t given up on him. Perhaps it was time he said yes.
‘Like a date?’ Luci queried.
‘NOT EXACTLY.’ HE wished he could offer to take her on a proper first date but if she was going to insist on meeting other people then tomorrow night’s party would be a good compromise. If everything went according to his plan he could organise a first date after that. ‘A friend of mine is hosting a “dates with mates” party. It’s for singles. Each guest is expected to bring a partner who they are not romantically involved with—it’s a way of meeting new people, of broadening your set of acquaintances and potentially meeting someone who you could date. So it fits within your rules. We’d be going as friends and you’ll get to meet new people. What do you think?’
She nodded. ‘Sure. I’d like that.’
He was surprised by her immediate reaction. There was no hesitation, no further questions. She was far more adventurous and sociable than he was.
Luci pulled her hair into a sleek ponytail and applied a coat of pale pink lipstick before zipping herself into the strapless black jumpsuit she’d bought that day. She’d seen it in a shop window that she passed on her way to work and had loved it but had had no reason to buy it. Until today. She’d told herself she hadn’t bought anything new in ages so it was a justified purchase. She told herself a lot of things. That she wasn’t
