way, least of all by trying to make herself attractive to him, she stepped out of the bathroom.
The truth was she hadn’t brought anything else anyway. She had thought her stay here was going to be brief. Given the shakiness of her resolve, looking pathetic seemed as if it could only be a good thing.
He was behind the kitchen counter putting croissants—obviously freshly delivered—on a plate.
“Wow. Excuse me while I pluck out my eyes. I’d forgotten the full ugliness of that dress. Or maybe I blocked it. Trauma.”
“It is not that bad.” He still had not put on a shirt. In the “life was unfair” department, this seemed to rate quite high: that he wanted to pluck out his eyes and she wanted to gaze at him endlessly.
“It is. That bad. Believe me. At least its awfulness helps me figure out the agenda for the day. We need to go shopping first.”
“I am not going shopping. I love this dress.” She didn’t actually. She thought it was quite hideous. “I’m sorry you’ll be embarrassed by me, but that’s the way it is.”
“I’m not embarrassed by you. But in the ‘find something to be grateful for’ department—”
She squinted at him suspiciously. He was not a “find something to be grateful for” kind of guy.
“I’m just glad you didn’t bring the camo one. If we end up in the woods today, I don’t want to misplace you.”
“What are the chances we’ll end up in the woods?”
“Anything can happen when you just let the day unfold.”
She should not feel nearly as thrilled by that as she did! But spontaneity had not been part of her world for a long time, and Jessica suddenly felt eager for it.
ONE THING THAT Jessica remembered about Kade with complete fondness was that he always seemed open to what the world could bring him.
They had a simple breakfast at his apartment. He had had the still-steaming croissants and preserves delivered, and they sat out on the terrace and ate in the new warmth of the spring light. What was it about spring that brought hope to even the most wounded heart?
He seemed to forget she looked ugly. She seemed to forget he looked gorgeous. The old comfort rose up between them.
They talked as if nothing had ever gone wrong between them. It was like the old days, when spending time with him felt as if she was spending time with her best friend. The conversation flowed easily and naturally, words spilling out of them, as if they were anxious to catch up. They talked about mutual friends, his aunt Helen and her cousin Dave. They talked a bit about their businesses.
And then they left his place and walked downtown. Jessica became self-consciously aware of the ugliness of her dress again as she walked beside him. Kade was dressed casually in a sports shirt and summer khaki pants, and yet she could not help but notice how he got that look from women. Interested. Admiring. Hungry for a taste of that particular delight. They would glance at her, too, and then dismiss her.
When he came around to her good arm and his hand found hers, her own sense of hunger deepened. She was so aware of how much she had missed this, the small intimacies that made a relationship, the feel of his hand, strong, closing possessively around her own, sending that message to all who passed: taken.
She was determined to make a go of it on her own, but that simple thing, him taking her hand, filled her with a longing that felt physical in its intensity, like a shiver going up and down her spine that would not go away.
If she was smart, she would drop his hand and turn and run.
But smart seemed to have abandoned her. She wanted these moments. It felt as if she was stealing them to store away, as a part of her, for when she did not have him anymore. She actually felt thankful that these memories might overlay the old ones. Their history, leading up to the separation, was so filled with bitterness and anger and frustration that it had become as if the dark colors of a new painting had completely obliterated the light of the old painting that existed right underneath it.
They entered the downtown. It was a beautiful day so they avoided the Plus 15 Skywalk and instead strolled the pedestrian mall on Stephen Avenue. Downtown did not have its weekday bustle, the throngs of men and women in business attire, but there was still a colorful conglomeration of shoppers and activities on the streets.
A cowboy-hatted busker had set up close to Stephen Avenue Walk and was singing lustily. They stopped and watched for a few minutes. Kade dropped a five into his guitar case and they moved on.
They enjoyed the historic sandstone buildings of one of Canada’s few designated National Historic Sites. Calgarians had been conducting their commerce here on Eighth Avenue for over a hundred years. They passed the building where Kade worked, in the heart of Calgary’s financial district, and then walked along the column-fronted arcade of the very impressive Hudson’s Bay Company building. The building had always anchored Calgary’s downtown core.
“How about there?”
She looked at the store Kade had paused to point out. It was a tiny but very upscale boutique called Chrysalis, which Jessica knew of but had never set foot in. “I can’t go in there.”
“Why?”
Mostly because of how she was dressed right now! “I can’t afford anything in there.”
“I can.”
“No.”
“Come on. It will be fun. Remember that scene we liked in that movie?”
“Pretty Woman?” she guessed.
He nodded happily. “Let’s reenact that.”
“I’m no Julia Roberts,” she said, but she could feel herself being drawn into his playfulness. Where had all the playfulness gone between them?
“You are way better than her,” he said, and he looked at her with such genuine male appreciation that she nearly melted.
They went into the shop. It was understated and tasteful. But the salesclerk was a very chic young woman with an outrageous purple streak in her blond hair. She rushed at them, probably, Jessica thought, to get rid of her, the same as in the movie.
“My first customers of the day,” she said gleefully. Then she eyed Jessica with the look of a seasoned fashion aficionado. Rather than judgment or snobbery, Jessica sensed friendliness and very genuine concern. “What is that you are wearing?”
In a tone that should be reserved for “I’m so sorry to hear about the death in your family.”
“I’m having a little trouble with my arm,” Jessica said defensively.
“Even so, you’re lovely! And just a little bit of a thing. You have to show off your assets!” She cast Kade a look that clearly said, “Especially if you are with a guy who looks like that,” and that she clearly considered him an asset worth
