to. She wanted to lie here in his arms, to feel his rough cheek against hers. To enjoy the warm, protective embrace of his strong arms and his satisfied sigh in her ear. In fact she couldn’t remember the last time she felt so completely relaxed and content.
She’d spent too many lonely nights in her bedroom. Too many solitary hours dreaming of moments like this. Everyone, including her own parents, thought she had no feelings at all. That she lived to work. That her brain was filled with numbers and spreadsheets and she spent all her spare time doing elaborate computations. But she was just like everyone else, though she hid it well. She craved companionship, romance, love.
Love? Well, she wasn’t going to find that with John Fairweather. A tiny stab of regret poked at her heart. She could probably fall in love with him quite easily on the briefest acquaintance. Despite his reputation as a callous, money-orientated playboy, she’d learned he was a man of principle who put those principles into practice every day. The media was so wrong about him. Or maybe they were jealous. She could now grow quite angry thinking about the callous things she’d read about him and the tribe.
“Your heart’s beating faster.” His gruff voice tickled something deep inside her.
“I was just thinking about how wrong everyone is about you.”
He laughed. “Are they, though? I don’t lose a single moment of sleep worrying what other people think. I don’t care about them at all. Maybe that’s what they hate the most.”
“I admire your independent spirit.”
“Do you?” He sounded surprised. “I thought you were convinced that everything I stand for is wrong.”
“That’s when I thought you stood for gambling and drinking and cheating people out of their hard-earned money. Now I know those things are means to an end. You wouldn’t be in the gambling business at all if it weren’t for you trying to build the tribe, would you?”
He watched her for a moment. “I admit, the software business was a lot less complicated.” A smile tugged at his mouth. “In fact, I’m planning to get back into it. We’ve been working on some database software to improve our business operations here and I plan to release a beta version in the next three months or so.”
“Maybe it will be more successful than the casino.”
“That’s hard to imagine, but you never know.”
“Most people would be resting on their laurels and enjoying the fruits of their hard work, but you’re always trying something new.”
“Maybe I’m just restless.” He shifted, bumping against her and stirring desire.
“I’m not like that at all.” She let out a sigh. “I’m very dull, really. I don’t have any desire to set the world on fire. I’m just trying to save enough to buy my own house and move out.”
“The world would be a crazy place if everyone was like me. Can you imagine? A blend of different types of people is much more peaceful and productive.” He kissed her cheek.
Her skin stirred under his lips. “I suppose you’re right.” Was that why he liked her—she provided a pleasantly dull contrast to his high-octane self?
“Opposites attract.” He squeezed her, and she reveled in the sensation of his big body pressed against hers.
“Apparently so.” She caressed the thick muscle of his back. It was hard to believe she lay here in his arms, completely naked. It felt oddly natural. As had their lovemaking. Much more so than the hurried fumblings with the college boyfriend she’d planned to spend the rest of her life with.
Right now she could easily imagine herself and John having an actual relationship. Surely they were already, to a certain extent? Except that she was here to investigate his company for improprieties and she’d probably be fired if anyone found out about this.
“What’s the matter?” He must have heard her breathing quicken.
“I can’t believe we’re in bed together.”
He paused, and stroked her shoulder. “Nothing happens by accident.”
“No? I didn’t plan this and I don’t think you did, either.”
His chest rumbled with a chuckle. “You’re right. But we can both be discreet.”
She wasn’t sure if it was a question or a command. Either way it hurt. Which it shouldn’t have, because she certainly didn’t want him telling anyone. “Of course.”
No promises. No expectations.
No future.
She’d fallen into his arms knowing this was crazy, but she hadn’t been able to help herself. Too many nights in her lonely bedroom, wondering if a man would ever hold her again. Too many dreams that hadn’t come true. The last few years of loneliness had apparently left her in a desperate and dangerous condition and brought her here into John Fairweather’s bed.
“We’re not entirely opposites, you know.” John kissed her cheek softly.
“No? How are we similar?”
“We’re both stubborn and determined.”
“I think I’m going to take that as an insult. I was raised to be obedient and compliant.” She raised a brow.
“Well, something went wrong.” He winked, and the sparkle of humor in his eyes did something strange to her belly. “Because I can tell you make up your own mind about everything.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You’re here, aren’t you? In my arms.” He squeezed her gently, and her heart tripped a little.
“I’m not sure my mind was involved in this at all. I suspect other, less intellectual parts of my body were involved.”
His chest rocked with laughter. “To a certain extent, yes, but you’re here and thinking right now and I don’t notice you running for the door.”
“Trust me, I’m thinking about running for the door.” She glanced at it, as if to make sure the way was clear.
“Guess I’ll have to keep a tight hold on you, then.” His arms circled her completely, which felt fabulous. She didn’t want to move from their embrace. “Because I don’t want you to go.”
“I’m sure you’d have no trouble finding someone to take my place here.” She regretted the jealous-sounding words the moment they came out.
“I’m not at all interested in anyone else. I bet you’d be surprised by how long it’s been since I slept with a woman.”
“Really?” Her own curiosity embarrassed her.
“I won’t lie. I sowed some wild oats when I was younger, especially after my marriage fell apart. I’d been a true romantic up until then and I couldn’t believe that the forever she’d promised me had turned out to be less than a year. I probably got revenge on myself more than anyone else. I was mad at myself for trusting her.”
“I
