getting better.
Luca was pushing her and pushing her—and for what? As if he’d welcome her darkest secrets...
The desire to be vulnerable and allow herself to confide in him in a way she’d never done before made her scared. It was too much, coming on the heels of what had just happened. Realising she was falling in love with him when he was only interested in bedding her. She’d been at pains to let Luca know that this was the real her, and yet she knew well it wasn’t. There was a lot more to her. And she couldn’t let it out. She felt too fragile.
Acting on a blind instinct to protect herself, Serena stood up abruptly, making Luca tip his head back.
Coldly she said, ‘There’s nothing more to it—and I thought men didn’t like post-coital post-mortems. If we’re done here for the evening I’d like to go to bed. I’m tired.’
She went to walk around Luca, her heart hammering, but he grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks. He stood up slowly, eyes narrowed on her.
‘What the hell...? If we’re done here for the evening? What’s that supposed to mean?’
Serena shrugged and tried to affect as bored a demeanour as possible. ‘We’ve been to the function, we’ve slept together...’ She forced herself to look at him and mocked, ‘What more do you want? For me to tuck you in and read you a story?’
Luca’s face flushed. He let her wrist go as if it burnt him. He seemed to increase in size in front of her, but instead of intimidating her it only made her more aware of him. He bristled.
‘No, sweetheart, I don’t want you to tuck me in and read me a story. I want you in my bed at my convenience for as long as I want you.’
He was hard and cruel. And more remote than she could remember ever seeing him. Something inside her curled up tight. But still that instinct to drive him away from seeing too much made her say nonchalantly, ‘Well, if it’s all the same to you, I’d appreciate spending the rest of the night on my own.’
Liar, her body whispered. Even now between her legs she was getting damp with the desire to feel him surge deep inside her.
So that she could shut down all over again? More humiliation? No, she was doing the right thing.
He came close...close enough to make sweat break out over Serena’s skin... If he touched her he’d know how false she was being.
But he stopped just inches away and said, ‘We both know that I could have you flat on your back and begging me for release in minutes...a release that you will give me next time, Serena.’
He stepped back and Serena felt disorientated. He thought she’d wilfully kept herself from being pleasured just to thwart him in some way?
He swept her up and down with a scathing glance. ‘But right now I find that my desire has waned.’
He turned and strode back into the apartment and Serena started to shake in reaction. Everything in her wanted to call out to him.
But wasn’t this what she wanted? To push him back? The shackles of her past had never felt so burdensome as they did right then. She recognised that they were protecting her, but also imprisoning her.
She could imagine Luca getting changed, walking out through the door, and her gut seized in rejection. Luca was the only person she’d come close to telling everything. She could remember the look on his face just before she’d turned cold. He’d been concerned. Until she’d convinced him that she had nothing to say except that she wanted him to leave.
And why wouldn’t he leave? He was proud enough to take her at face value. She knew how quickly he damned people—after all he’d damned her for long enough... But that had been changing.
A sense of urgency gripped her—so what if he did just want her in his bed? Suddenly Serena knew that in spite of how terrified it made her feel, she desperately wanted to lean on Luca’s inherent strength and face these last demons that haunted her still. She was sick of letting her past define her, of being afraid to get too close to anyone in case they saw inside her.
After all, what was the worst that could happen? Luca couldn’t look at her any more coldly than he just had. And if he didn’t believe her...? Then at least she would have been totally honest.
She heard a movement and saw Luca stride towards the front door, dressed now in black trousers and a black top.
He looked utterly intimidating, but Serena gathered all of her courage, stepped into the apartment again and said, ‘Wait, Luca, please. Don’t go.’
LUCA STOPPED AT the door, his hand on the knob. Had he even heard that? Or was it his imagination conjuring up what he wanted to hear from a siren who had him so twisted inside out that he barely knew which way was up any more?
He didn’t turn around and forced out a drawl. ‘What is it, minha beleza? You’re ready to come this time?’
He felt dark inside, constricted. He’d really thought he’d seen something incredibly vulnerable in Serena—he’d finally believed that she truly was exactly as she seemed—and then...wham! She couldn’t have made more of a fool of him if she’d professed undying love and he’d believed her.
There was no sound behind him and he whirled around, anger like a molten surge within him. When he saw the pallor of Serena’s cheeks and how huge and bruised her eyes looked he pushed down the concern that rose up to mock him and said scathingly, ‘Nice try, namorada, but I’m not falling for whatever part you want to play now. Frankly, I prefer a little consistency in my lovers.’
Luca went to turn and leave again, but Serena moved forward jerkily. ‘Please, just wait—hear me out.’
He sighed deeply, hating the ball of darkness in his gut. The darkness that whispered to him to run fast and far away from this woman.
He turned around and crossed his arms, arching a brow. ‘Well?’
Serena swallowed. Her hair was like a white-gold curtain over her shoulders, touching the swells of her breasts under the robe. Breasts that Luca could taste on his tongue even now.
Incensed that she was catching him like this, and yet still he couldn’t walk away, he strode past her over to his drinks cabinet and delivered curtly, ‘Spit it out, will you?’
He poured himself a glass of whisky and downed it in one. Hating that she’d even made him feel he needed the sustenance. His hand gripped the glass. He wouldn’t look at her again.
‘Serena, so help me—’
‘You were pushing me to talk...and I didn’t want to. So I pretended just now...pretended that I wanted to be alone. I didn’t mean what I said, Luca.’
Luca went very still. An inner voice mocked him. She’s still playing you. But he recalled the way she’d looked so hunted...just before something had come over her expression and she’d morphed into the ice queen in front of his eyes.
Slowly
