Instantly Todd knew what it was going to say. He opened the note and read it just to confirm his gut’s intuition.
Sorry, Todd, but I’m just not ready for this whole dating ritual. You’ve been kindness itself and I really appreciate that. As far as I’m concerned, you have fulfilled your bachelor auction responsibilities completely. I hope my leaving doesn’t cause you any embarrassment. Some of us aren’t meant to leave the suburbs and I guess I’m one of those people. Please accept my apology.
Beth
* * *
‘‘Is there a problem?’’ the waiter asked.
Yeah, there was a problem, Todd thought to himself. For the first time in his life, he’d been stood up.
Chapter Three
Beth paid the cabdriver then stared up at her two-story house. It was barely eight o’clock. Both her children were going to know that something was up. She would never have returned this early unless there was a problem. However, the idea of lurking in the shrubbery for two or three hours was even less appealing than confessing all, or at least part, of what had happened, so she headed for the back door.
As per her instructions, it was locked. That made her relax a little. While her lone foray into dating had ended in disaster, at least her kids seemed to be growing up into wonderful, responsible teenagers. Given the choice, she would pick her kids’ success and happiness over her own, any day.
She inserted her key and turned it, then opened the door and made her way to the family room. ‘‘Just me,’’ she called.
Her daughter, Jodi, and her friend Sara both looked up at her in surprise as she stepped into the room.
‘‘I know I’m a little early,’’ she said, careful to keep her voice bright and breezy. ‘‘Everything is fine. I told Todd I would prefer it if we ended our date quickly.’’
Jodi frowned at the VCR clock, then returned her attention to her mother. ‘‘A little early? Did you two even have time to eat?’’
While Beth was willing to stretch the truth slightly, she wasn’t going to out-and-out lie. ‘‘We had drinks.’’
‘‘I thought he was supposed to be buying you dinner.’’ Beth crossed the hardwood floor and kissed her daughter’s forehead. ‘‘He offered and I declined. I’d rather be home.’’ She grabbed a cookie from the plate between the studying girls. ‘‘I’m going upstairs to get changed. Don’t worry about me.’’
With that she was gone. One down and one to go, she thought, pleased Jodi had accepted her explanation so easily. Of course if she knew her daughter, they were going to be talking about this in more detail in the morning. Between now and then, Beth would think of a way to make things sound better than they were.
At the top of the stairs, she slipped out of her pumps and carried them. As she pushed open the half-closed door to her bedroom, she remembered that she’d given Matt permission to watch movies on her television so as not to disturb Jodi and Sara while they studied.
The sounds of an action movie assaulted her as she stepped into the dark bedroom. Matt lay on the bed, his head propped on top of all her pillows and a bowl of popcorn on his stomach.
‘‘Hey, kiddo,’’ she said as she walked toward her closet.
‘‘Mom?’’ Matt set the bowl on the nightstand and sprang to his feet. ‘‘You’re home early. Are you okay?’’
She put her purse on her dresser and turned to look at him. ‘‘I’m fine. Yes, it was a short date, but Todd and I settled for drinks instead of dinner.’’
The twinge of guilt at her semi-lie surprised her. Why should she feel guilty about what had happened? Maybe because she’d left a perfectly nice man in a potentially embarrassing situation, a little voice in her head whispered.
Matt stood in front of her. He was a gangly teen with serious eyes behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Right now, worry pressed his mouth into a straight line.
His too-big hands curled into fists. ‘‘Did something happen? Did he—”His voice cracked and he flushed. ‘‘Did he try something?’’
It took Beth a moment to figure out that her youngest, the boy she still thought of as her baby, was concerned about her safety and planning to protect her. Pain and pride battled for a place in her heart. Pain that he was already so grown-up and it wouldn’t be long before he was gone, and pride for the man he would be when he left home for good.
She cupped Matt’s face in her hands. He wasn’t shaving regularly yet and he still had the blotchy skin of an adolescent, but since the death of his father, he’d done his best to be the man of the house.
‘‘Thank you,’’ she said quietly, and kissed his cheek. ‘‘Thank you for worrying about me. Yes, I’m home before I planned, but that’s because I didn’t stay to have dinner with Todd. Nothing happened.’’
At least nothing in the way Matt thought, Beth reminded herself. If anyone was guilty of behaving badly, she was the one in trouble, not Todd.
‘‘You sure?’’ Matt asked.
‘‘I swear.’’ Beth dropped her hands and made an X over her heart. ‘‘Now let me get changed and I’ll watch the rest of the movie with you.’’
Matt grinned. ‘‘You’ll hate it.’’
‘‘Probably,’’ Beth said as she moved into the bathroom and the closet beyond. ‘‘But I’ll get to make fun of it and annoy you with my sarcastic comments, so that will be entertaining.’’
Fifteen minutes later, she curled up on the opposite side of the bed. The large bowl of popcorn sat between them. While Matt lost himself in the movie, she tried to do the same. Unfortunately not even the sight of bare-chested navy SEALs was enough to keep her from thinking of Todd. Had he stayed in the restaurant for dinner? she wondered as she crunched popcorn. Or had he left? Did her abrupt departure make him feel embarrassed? She hoped not. She doubted that he would have felt anything but relief, but she wasn’t sure, and that bothered her.
Beth knew she had her faults like everyone else, but she wasn’t a deliberately cruel person. Guilt nibbled away at her until she thought it might have been easier to just endure the entire evening.
But that was part of the problem, she admitted to herself. Being with Todd hadn’t been that difficult, and spending a few more hours in his company wouldn’t have been all that tough to get through. Her uneasiness and discomfort had been about the strangeness of the situation, not to mention the snobby restaurant, not the man himself.
Later, when both her children were in bed and asleep, Beth paced the downstairs. It didn’t matter that she’d told herself to put the evening behind her, nor did telling herself that what she’d done hadn’t been so bad make her feel any better. When she finally crawled between her cool sheets, her mind still whirled. Questions of what she should have done versus what she actually had done followed her into her dreams.
* * *
Beth
