and now it was too late to change anything.
‘Last night was lovely…but now you’ve ruined it.’
That complaint, towering in its naivety, echoed in his ears and made him flinch. As a rule, he avoided starry-eyed girls and she was one he should definitely have avoided getting more deeply involved with. A woman who’d had a massive crush on him as a teenager? How much had that influenced her willingness to give him her body? He emitted a harsh groan of guilt and self-loathing.
A decent man didn’t take advantage of a vulnerable woman! And what had he done?
Within hours of her father’s funeral, when she was grieving and distressed, he had pounced like some sort of self-serving seducer. She had deserved more care and consideration than he had given her. Yet he had started out simply trying to offer both care and consideration and could not for the life of him explain how trying to comfort her had ended up with them having sex. She hadn’t flirted with him. She hadn’t encouraged him but she hadn’t said no either. Was that what he was blaming her for? No, he was blaming her for not telling him that she was a virgin, for not giving him that choice…
‘I’ll have to nip out to get something for breakfast,’ Willow told him from the doorway.
Jai swung round, his eyes a pale glittering brilliance in his lean, darkly handsome face. ‘I’ll eat back at the hotel,’ he told her drily. ‘Why didn’t you tell me that I would be the first? I wouldn’t have continued if I’d known. I feel as though I took advantage of your inexperience.’
‘It didn’t occur to me that I should tell you. I wasn’t really thinking. I don’t think either of us were. Everything happened so fast,’ Willow murmured defensively, wishing he would have given her the time to provide breakfast and sort matters out in a more civilised manner. But Jai, she was beginning to recognise, was much more volatile in nature than she had ever appreciated. Without skipping a beat, he had taken the dialogue they had abandoned in the bedroom straight back up again, which suggested that while she’d showered and dressed, he had merely continued to silently brood and seethe.
‘There’s nothing we can do about it now,’ she pointed out thinly.
Jai looked back at her, scanning her small, slight figure in jeans and a top. Even with the shadows etched below her eyes, she was still lovely, eminently touchable, he reflected as he tensed. Daylight and cold reason had not made her any less appealing. ‘No, but it was wrong.’
‘You don’t get the unilateral right to say that to me,’ Willow snapped back at him. ‘It was not wrong for me!’
‘You had a crush on me for years,’ Jai countered levelly. ‘Is that why it wasn’t wrong for you?’
Willow’s soft mouth opened and closed again as she gazed back at him in horror, hot, painful colour slowly washing up her cheeks. ‘I can’t believe you are throwing that in my face.’
‘It’s relevant to this situation,’ Jai breathed sardonically.
‘The only person making a situation out of this is you!’ Willow condemned, fighting her mortification with all her might. ‘Yes, I may have had a crush on you when I was a schoolgirl, but I grew out of that nonsense years ago!’
‘I’m not sure I can believe that some sentimental memory didn’t influence you.’
‘It didn’t. Whether you believe that or not is up to you,’ Willow replied curtly. ‘I’m all grown up now. I don’t have any romantic notions about you…and if I had, you’d have killed them stone dead.’
Her continuing refusal to be influenced by his attitude surprised Jai. He was accustomed to those he dealt with coming round to his view and supporting his opinion, but Willow was stubborn enough and independent enough not to budge an inch. Meanwhile those bright green eyes, reminiscent of fresh ferns in the shade, damned him to hell and back.
‘Then let’s get down to business,’ Jai suggested, disconcerting her when she was bracing herself for another round of the same conversation. ‘I want to buy your father’s books.’
Willow regrouped and contrived to nod. ‘I’m content with that.’
‘Is the dealer you mentioned last night a book dealer?’
‘Nothing so fancy…why?’
‘At least two of the books are quite valuable first editions and you could do better auctioning them,’ Jai warned.
‘I haven’t time for that. I didn’t know any of them would be worth anything,’ she completed stiffly.
‘I will buy them at a fair price but you may wish to take further advice.’
Willow groaned out loud. ‘Oh, Jai… I don’t think you’re likely to cheat me!’
‘Very well. The books will be packed for you and collected later this morning and I will pay you in cash as that may be more convenient for you right now,’ Jai murmured levelly. ‘Will you allow me to pay for you to stay in a hotel until you get on your feet again?’
‘Would you be offering me that option if you hadn’t slept with me last night?’ Willow asked suspiciously.
His eyes clashed with her sceptical appraisal. ‘Yes.’
‘No. Thanks, but no,’ Willow told him without hesitation. ‘I don’t mind staying with Shelley for a while.’
‘Will you accept any further assistance from me?’ Jai enquired.
‘I’d prefer not to,’ Willow responded truthfully.
‘Life isn’t always that straightforward,’ Jai replied wryly as he settled his business card on the table. ‘If at any time you need help, you can depend on me to deliver it, no strings attached. Phone me if you are in need.’
‘And why would you make me an offer like that?’ Willow demanded shortly.
‘I wish you well,’ Jai admitted levelly.
Willow spun around in a rather ungainly circle and went to open the front door. ‘I’ll get by fine without you,’ she told him with a defiantly bright smile. ‘But thanks for caring.’
And on that hollow note, Jai departed. As soon as he was gone, Willow felt empty, exhausted and horribly hurt. She would never see him again except in newspapers or magazines at some glamorous or important event, but that was for the best because Jai had rejected her on every level. He had switched back to treating her like a distant acquaintance, whom he was willing to help in times of trouble, smoothly distancing himself from their brief intimacy.
He not only regretted sleeping with her, but also suspected that she had slept with him because she had once been infatuated with him. He had made mincemeat out of her pride and humiliated her.
Goodbye, Jai, she thought numbly. Goodbye and good riddance!
WILLOW SAT ON the side of the bath and waited
