seen him since I left him at the Hollows Cantina.”
“Of course not, dear. I’m sorry for assuming otherwise. It’s just that he left in Quinn’s truck yesterday. But it’s back this morning, and one of the horses is gone. Several of the men have ridden out on the trails and haven’t seen him. I thought that, maybe, he’d ridden out to your ranch to visit you.”
Was Jensen missing? Had he pulled a disappearing act?
“No, he’s not here. Does he normally just up and vanish like this?”
“Jensen? Hardly. He’s a very reliable person and conscientious. But I’m afraid today’s the anniversary of his father’s death. And with all the recent developments and changes in the family, Jensen is taking it rather hard this year.”
Had his grief been complicating matters?
Of course it had, and Amber had neglected to realize how quiet he’d become after talking about his father’s death, how keen he’d felt the loss of the man who’d also been his friend.
She poured out her coffee and placed the mug in the sink. “Don’t worry, Lady Josephine. I’ll find him.”
She just hoped she would be able to keep that promise.
After ending the call, she headed to the barn. If Jensen was on horseback, her best bet to find him would be with Lady Sybil.
But before she could saddle her horse, the brass buckle in the bridle caught her eye, making her think of Jensen’s treasured gold pocket watch.
Where would he go if he wanted to be close to his father?
The answer came to her instantly and she ran back toward the house and grabbed the truck keys off the hook in the mudroom.
She drove down the highway much faster than was reasonable. Just before she could pull into the small parking lot at the airfield, she caught a glimpse of a horse and rider at the southern edge of the fence.
She slowed to a stop nearly a hundred yards away, not wanting to startle Trail Blazer, the gelding she’d sold Quinn, or Jensen, who was sitting in the saddle, staring at the small planes parked near the runway. She shut off the ignition and climbed from the truck.
“Hey,” she said softly, as she approached.
Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “Hello.”
“There’s a posse out looking for you, cowboy.”
He shrugged a single shoulder. If the dark circles under his eyes were any indication, she’d guess that he’d slept just as badly as she had.
“I’m sorry,” he finally said.
“It’s okay. We all need to get away and clear our heads once in a while, especially on days like today, when we’re missing a loved one. Let me just call your mom and let her know she can call off the search party.”
“While I’m sorry for worrying everyone this morning, I was actually apologizing to you for what I said to you at dinner.”
She paused, her cell phone in her hand. She probably ought to backpedal about now, quit while she was ahead. But she couldn’t help it. She’d fallen for the handsome Brit, and she couldn’t roll over and consider their relationship dead in the water before it even got off the ground.
“I said some mean things, too,” she admitted. “Cowgirls are tough and they’re stubborn. And to make matters worse, I don’t like it when someone says I can’t or shouldn’t do something. I was going to apologize for not telling you about that Cowboy Country USA contract sooner, but then, when I saw your reaction, I got my dander up and, well...I didn’t mean to cause such a big scene.”
“What you said made sense. I need to stop hiding and start living my life. I’m going to head back to England for a while.”
He was leaving? Already? “What about the weddings?”
“I might come back for them. I haven’t worked everything out yet.”
“Will I see you again?” she asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
“I don’t honestly know. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted, but then I met you and my whole world was turned upside down. I thought we could have a simple and uncomplicated affair, but that didn’t work out so well.”
It had worked out nicely the one night they’d spent in the barn. And if they’d had a chance to be together more...
“I’m not like the rest of my family,” he said. “I’m not made for a long-term relationship.”
Amber bit her lip to keep from protesting. And she blinked to keep from crying. “Did your parents set the bar too high? Are you afraid you won’t find what they found?”
“Actually, it’s quite the opposite. I don’t want to find what they found. Watching my mum grieve for her best friend and soul mate has made me leery of loving someone that deeply. I started to feel much more than I should for you, and then things got tricky. You weren’t the only one making a scene last night. I can’t believe that I turned into such a jealous and possessive arse, especially when I thought of all those men seeing you in your showgirl costume.”
“Well, the costume is a bit much. When Mr. Dunstan said that every little girl would want to dress up as a cowgirl just like me, it made me realize that no parent would want to see their daughter wear a saloon-girl costume. So I plan to make some stipulations in my PR contract. I won’t agree to their PR photo shoot unless they agree to let me wear something much more practical for horseback riding.”
“Even if you wanted to wear that costume—which is quite beautiful, by the way, so my apologies to your gram for what I said last night—I had no right to imply you shouldn’t wear it. My parents never tried to keep me from doing anything I wanted to do. And I shouldn’t try to limit you, either.”
“But you cared enough to try. Isn’t that a good sign?”
“My misplaced jealousy is beside the point. It’s better if we end things now. There’s a reason I don’t let women get too close. If I were to allow myself to fall in love with you and then I lost you, the pain would be devastating. And it might never go away. I can’t risk it. I won’t risk it.”
She wanted to object, to argue. But she wasn’t about to grovel. Not when he’d already convinced himself that things were over between them.
No, there was nothing Amber could do or say that would change his mind. And while she should be thankful that she could evoke that kind of emotion in him, it only made her pain and her sadness worse.
“Have a safe trip,” she murmured before heading back to her truck.
He’d made it sound so simple—and, in a way, so had she. But letting him go without a fight was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do.
She would forever grieve for him and for what they could have had—if they hadn’t been so different.
