night as he stretched out in his own bed, Erika hovering, he was still replaying that moment Erika had rushed out to him. His head throbbed but his memories were crystal clear.
Watching Erika care enough about him to rush to his side filled him with a renewed purpose. He’d been blown away and more than a little unnerved watching her rush to his side, somehow having persuaded James to let her through security and out onto the field.
Make no mistake, he always wanted her there. By his side. But he didn’t want any harm to come to her or their children, either. The thought of harm befalling her or their children by her own rash actions gnawed at him. The security was there for a reason. God, she was everything to him. Everything. And he wasn’t sure how he could have missed out on realizing the depth of that.
They could be so good together, but it also seemed as if the risk of her pulling back was at an all-time high. All of her interactions with him since the CT scan came back had been rigid. Formalized. As if she was a nurse doing a job, not a woman tending to her lover.
That reaction clapped him upside the head harder than the wall of a football player that had crashed into him. Her reactions didn’t add up. She had been so upset on the sidelines, so freaked out about what was happening to him. And now she was answering in snippets of sentences. He didn’t want to upset her more, or keep her awake all night. But his family had been in and out of the room for hours. It was nearing morning before he finally had a moment alone with her.
His head throbbed far more from this situation than his minor concussion.
Propped up on the bed, he quietly said, “How did you get James to let you join me on the field?”
She flushed the most lovely shade of pink, her hand fidgeting with her blond hair draped over her shoulder. “I used some of my military skills to persuade him. Nothing extreme, given my condition, of course, just a small but painful maneuver.”
“Seriously? Apparently, I need to have you train my security.”
“And give away my secrets?” She gave him a princess-like annoyed scoff. “I think not. Besides, he should not have tried to keep me from you.”
“While I find that sexy on one level, you have to be careful and think about the babies. What if you had been hurt?”
She shrugged, looking him square in the eye. “I was careful. You are the injured one. Now, relax. You may not be stressed but you have to stay awake. Do as the doctor instructed or I am taking you back to the hospital.”
He felt the prickles of her emotions. Had to change the direction. Bring it back to breezy. Shooting her a sly smile, he said, “We could have sex. That would keep me awake.”
“You’re supposed to rest.” Eyes narrowing with annoyance, Erika crossed her arms.
“Then take advantage of me. I’ll just lie back and be very still.” He closed his eyes, then half opened one of them to look at her. Hoping to elicit some sort of response out of her. Hoping to see that radiant smile spread across her face. Damn. He loved that smile.
“Oh, you think you are funny. But I am not laughing right now. You are injured and I am here to make sure you take care of yourself.”
“You could tie me up so I don’t get too...boisterous.”
“Boisterous? Now, that’s an interesting word choice and a challenge. But sadly, for your own health, I will have to hold strong against your boisterous charms. Let us play cards.” There was no jest in her voice.
“Cards? Strip poker, maybe.”
“No, thank you.”
“Then I’ll pass on the cards. I gotta confess, my vision is a little blurry.” He held up his hand, trying to focus on his fingers. A dull ache pulled at him.
Turning, practically out the door to the room, Erika said, “I should get the doctor.”
“The doctor has checked me. I’ve had an X-ray and MRI and CT scan. I’m fine. Concussed, but nothing the players don’t face all the time. I’m not going to be a wimp in front of my team.”
“They wear helmets.”
“I have a thick head. Just ask anyone I work with. Or those I don’t work with.” He tried his best to crack that smile wide-open, but Erika’s face was as solemn as ever. She was shutting him out and he didn’t understand why.
“I’m not laughing.”
“You want to be serious? Then let’s be serious. Erika, I want you to move in with me. Hell, to be honest, I want you to marry me, but I will settle for you moving in here. Go to school here. Let’s be together. Life is complicated enough. Let’s enjoy more popcorn dates and sex in the screen room and every other room in this place. And in my cars. I have many, you know.” The declaration was earnest. He wanted her. For now. Forever. And not just because they were having children together.
Erika slammed her hand on the desk, a quiet rage burning in her fine, regal features. “I am still not laughing, Gervais. We cannot build a relationship on sex. I need something meaningful. I have fought so hard to build a life for myself, to be seen as someone more than ornamental. A royal jewel in the crown meant to bear an heir to the line, defunct or not.”
“Erika. It’s not like that. I don’t think of you as a crown jewel.” Gervais searched her face, trying to understand her.
“All you have done since I told you I was pregnant is press for marriage. I have worked hard to gain my independence, my happiness, and I will fight for my children, as well. They deserve something more.”
“Erika, I—” Gervais, the man who always had a plan, stammered, fighting for words.
Tears glistened in her eyes, but she stood tall, her shoulders braced as she backed away. “I will wake one of your brothers. It is morning anyway.” Erika turned, was already to the threshold and then gone before he could even think of words to delay her.
He had botched this chance to win her over. And what a helluva time to realize just how much he loved her, this proud, strong woman. He loved her intelligence, her passion, even her stubbornness. He adored every hair on her head.
He loved her so deeply he knew any fear of repeating his father’s mistakes would not happen. Gervais loved Erika. Real love. The kind that he knew damn well was rare in this world.
And in rushing her, he may have ruined his chance to have her.
* * *
As Erika let her feet dangle over the edge of the dock, she focused her attention out on the lake’s waters. The late-afternoon sun cast golden shimmers on the surface of the water.
She felt as if the whole day had been a training exercise. Nothing had felt real to her. Since she stormed out of Gervais’s room last night, Erika had felt disoriented.
The problem was simple. Despite logic and reason, she was madly in love with Gervais. These past few days had proved how easy it would be to fall into a routine together.
But they had also shown her how difficult it would be for them to become more than...well, whatever this was.
A breeze stirred her loose
