wherever I am, there you are.” He made it sound awful, but Daisy suddenly couldn’t stop smiling.
Despairing, Alex shook his head. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind, though God knows, I tried. I told myself I needed a woman who didn’t make me feel all the things you made me feel. But you must have noticed, I couldn’t stay away.”
“Every time I thought I’d seen the last of you, you came back,” Daisy realized. “It made me nervous.”
“Because of Charlie?”
“Partly. But really, I suppose, because I’d … never quite got over you.” She didn’t want to admit it, but if they were being honest, she owed him that. The heat of his gaze was warming her, making her tingle all the way to her toes. At the same time she was still trying to get a grip on the notion that five years ago he’d been falling in love with her, too.
“I wanted you as soon as I saw you again,” he told her.
“On your terms.”
“Hell, yes. Safer that way. And Caroline was safe. I never felt for her the tiniest bit of what I feel for you. I never wanted her. Never missed her. I knew I could live without her. I can’t live without you.”
“Alex.” She touched his cheek with her palm and he turned his face to press his lips into it, his kiss making her shiver.
“I couldn’t ask her to marry me,” he admitted. “I was going to, but I never could.”
“You must have realized she needed someone else.”
He reached up a hand to press her palm against his cheek. He looked down into her eyes, his full of an emotion she’d never dared hope to see there. “Yeah, maybe that was it.” He gave a self-deprecating laugh. “No, damn it. I was still in love with you.”
Daisy stared at him in astonishment.
“And then I discovered Charlie.”
“And you wanted Charlie.”
“Yes. I love Charlie,” Alex said with an intensity that made her believe it. “Not just because he reminds me of Vass, though God knows he does. I love him because he’s yours. And mine. Because he’s bright and inquisitive and fun and just knowing he’s alive gives me joy.” He shook his head slowly. “And I would give my life for him—and for you. I will go to the ends of the earth for you. I will slay dragons for you. I will get hurt for you. I swear it, Daisy.” There was wonder in his voice.
Daisy opened her mouth, then closed it again. She didn’t know what to say. Her eyes brimmed. So did her heart. Dear God, she’d loved this man for years, but never more than she loved him now, now that he had discovered the love he was capable of, the love he was willing to dare to share.
He reached out and touched her cheek, stroking away a tear she didn’t even know was there. Then he wrapped his arms around her and drew her close, let her feel the pounding of his heart, the warmth of his love, the shelter of his embrace.
She leaned against him, letting herself sink into him, loving his strength, his steadiness. She rested her head in the crook between his shoulder and his chin.
“I would have been here sooner,” Alex went on. He spoke softly, his lips against her hair. “But I didn’t think you probably wanted to talk to me again after what you said the last time.”
Daisy raised her eyes to look up at him, feeling guilty. “I didn’t know—”
But Alex shook his head. “No, you were right. It was my problem. You gave me a reason to confront it, to deal with it. And I needed to before I could come back. So I did. I had to go to Paris for work anyway. It was a commitment. I spent ten days there. Then I went to see my parents.”
Daisy took a quick look into his eyes.
He bent his head, held her closer. “We’ve … barely talked in years. It was, I suppose, easier for all of us that way. Not to be reminded.”
Daisy slid her arms around his back, holding him close, feeling the tension in him.
He cleared his throat, scuffed his boot in the snow, then pulled back a little so he could look down into her eyes. “They’re both in Greece these days. Not together. My mother’s divorced a third time. My dad is still buried in his books. But I … talked to both of them. About Vass. About … what happened, about what I thought. They were shocked. They had no idea.” His eyes were brimming again. He shook his head. “I’m glad I went. And I … expect I’ll see them again.” He hesitated. “I told them about you … and Charlie. They’d like to meet you both someday … if you’re agreeable.”
“Of course,” Daisy said faintly, her heart spilling over with love for him, thrilled that he’d taken the step to reconnect with his parents, delighted that they might all now find a beginning to their healing.
Alex pressed a kiss into her hair. “Thank you.”
Then he drew back and dug into the pocket of his jacket. “Will you give this to Charlie?” He took out a small silver Matchbox car and handed it to her. “I have real Christmas presents for him, but he’s got them already. I left them with Cal.”
“Cal?” She stared at him in wonder. “You’ve never even met Cal.”
“I have now. I went to your place from the airport. You weren’t there. I didn’t know where you were. I thought you might be with him.”
“How do you know where he lives?”
“I told you once before—” Alex’s mouth quirked “—the internet is a wonderful thing.”
Apparently it was. “But I wasn’t there.”
“No,” Alex said. “But he knew where you were.”
“And he told you?” That didn’t sound like Cal. He was generally very protective.
“After he’d threatened me within an inch of my life. Said I’d be sorry if I hurt you. And I believed him. I liked him. And … I don’t ever want to hurt you, Daze.” His voice was rough and warm and intense.
And he wasn’t hurting her, he was killing her, Daisy thought desperately. She looked down at the tiny car in her hand. Without having to be told, she knew what it was.
“The car you fought over,” she said.
He nodded. “It was Vass’s. He gave it to me before … before he died.” Alex choked on the words. “I’ve carried it with me ever since.”
“Your hair shirt?” Daisy asked gently.
“I didn’t think so then, but yes, it was. I lived with the guilt a long time. I might have lived with it forever—without you.”
“Oh, Alex.” She nestled close again.
“Charlie should have it. He doesn’t need to know its past. Only that it’s for him—a gift from the uncle he’ll never know. Vass—” Alex swallowed “—would have loved him.”
Daisy blinked furiously, her fingers
