so often. He was so considerate it pained her, knowing she was about to turn his world on its head again.
‘Thanks,’ she said, withdrawing her hand from the safety of his. It wasn’t going to do her any good to expect Cal to prop her up every time she had a wobble, no matter how comforting it was. They hadn’t planned this baby and whilst she was reconciled some way to the idea of becoming a parent there was no guarantee he would. There was every chance she would end up raising their child alone and she was fine with that. If that’s what Cal wanted.
‘Perhaps you came back too early—you know, after Gerry,’ he said softly with some hesitation, and she knew he was half expecting her to kick off at the suggestion. Which she usually did when anyone tried to tell her what to do, thinking they knew her better than she knew herself.
She didn’t agree with him on this occasion either but she’d no other way to explain her current mood without spilling the beans about the baby.
‘You could be right.’ She pushed her plate away before she vomited.
* * *
Now Cal knew something really was wrong with Izzy. She usually fought him over the smallest difference of opinion, so daring to suggest something as huge as she’d returned to work too soon warranted all-out war.
Between that and her roller-coaster appetite he was beginning to worry about her. One minute she was eating everything in sight, including his emergency chocolate stash he kept for those occasions they didn’t have time for a meal break. The next she was sitting staring at her rejected fry-up as though she was about to burst into tears at any second.
He hadn’t noticed until today how emotional she’d become, having taken her stoicism and ability to bounce back from any eventuality for granted. Caught up in the sorrow of his own break-up, he hadn’t seen past the front she’d been putting on since Gerry had died, accepting her assurances she was fine too easily. Probably because he didn’t want to over-analyse what had happened between them that night when she’d come to his place in a state about Gerry.
He’d been committed to his relationship with Janet, even if she hadn’t considered it a priority, but when Izzy had come to him seeking support and comfort, any thoughts of his ex had been obliterated by his all-consuming need for her. Once he’d tasted desire on her lips, all those suppressed feelings he’d apparently been harbouring for her had been tangled in there right along with their limbs and tongues. He never considered that she might’ve been down in those depths of despair all this time.
Yes, Janet had betrayed him in the worst possible way, stringing him along with that dream of his happy family, only to snatch it away for ever. It had been partly his fault, so desperate to set up a loving home like the one he’d grown up in he’d clung onto the wrong person, ignoring all her flaws in favour of the family he’d envisaged having with her. Now he was worried he’d taken advantage of Izzy when she was obviously still emotionally vulnerable.
They’d been close for years and that bond had irritated their partners at times, but they’d only crossed the line that night when their relationships had forcibly ended. Ever since they’d fallen into bed together he’d found it difficult to rein those feelings back in and pretend nothing had happened. They’d agreed that was the best course of action, but it was impossible to put their indiscretion completely out of his head when he saw her every day and was reminded how incredible that time together had been. As though they’d finally stopped pretending their chemistry was nothing more than camaraderie and had expressed their feelings for one another physically.
How was he supposed to forget something so amazingly honest after his recent experience of deceit?
‘I’ve been a bad friend to you lately. I’m sorry.’ There’d been a distance between them recently, which he’d created as a coping mechanism to protect himself, never thinking about the support Izzy needed. He thought back over these past horrendous months and thought of all the support she’d offered him after Janet had left.
Izzy had been a constant on his doorstep despite his repeated warnings he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone in the aftermath of his ex’s revelation. She’d been the provider of home-cooked meals when he hadn’t wanted to eat and the confiscator of alcohol when all he’d wanted to do was drink. Ignoring his bad temper, she’d fought past his defences and dragged him out of the quagmire, so he’d been able to get on with his life when he’d truly believed it was over.
That was the true definition of a friend. Not someone who muttered his sympathies and accepted her grieving was over because it suited him better than having to dig beyond a fake smile and talk about feelings. Now, seeing her here, eyes glassy with unshed tears, biting her lip to keep up the façade, he wanted to finally step up and be there for her. The way she’d done for him. She was the closest thing he had to family now. The only one who’d been there with him through the darkest hours of his life, and he owed her.
‘Don’t be daft. Aren’t you here, putting up with my mood swings?’ There was that smile again that he was learning not to trust when her eyes were cloudy with uncertainty and something else he couldn’t quite decipher but which made him feel guiltier than ever.
‘I wasn’t there for you after Gerry died.’
‘Um, I think you were.’
He wasn’t expecting her to reference what had happened between them but there was a suggestion of that passionate encounter flickering like erotic flames in her eyes. Rather than complicate matters more between them, Cal chose to ignore the reminder. In conversation at least. ‘If something’s wrong I expect you to tell me and let me help. Okay?’
‘Understood. Now, shall we get the bill?’ She wrestled out from his grip and waved to the waitress.
Cal sighed and pulled his credit card from his wallet. ‘I’ll get this. It’s the least I can do.’
Izzy made her usual protests as she fished in her bag for her purse, but he grabbed the bill first. ‘Let me pay my half at least.’
‘You can leave a couple of pounds for the tip if you want.’ It was then he caught a glimpse inside her purse to see only a few coppers resting in the lining. Rather than embarrass her further, he tossed the loose change he found in his pocket on the table and made to leave.
Something wasn’t right with Izzy and he wasn’t going to rest until he discovered what. And if he wasn’t the friend she needed he knew how to find the one who fitted that description.
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