am impressed by your ability to separate your emotions from your passions, then.’ Avery looked down at his hand, opened his clenched fist and began to strip off his gloves. Laura saw one had split along the seam. ‘The general wisdom is that it takes a kick in the groin or a bucket of cold water over the head to stop a man performing, but that ladies are far more sensitive. I doubt I could have lost myself in the moment quite as thoroughly if I was engaged in such a masterpiece of deceit at the same time.’
‘You drove me to it.’ She turned her shoulder to him. If she could just spring down from the carriage, confront him face-to-face instead of being forced to sit passively next to him. If only she had the courage to tell him she loved him. ‘If you had not forbidden me any access to Alice, I would have been content, but you had to take her from me utterly. Utterly. How could you be so cruel?’
‘Well, you have got what you wanted, for I doubt any respectable woman is going to accept an offer from me now, with this on top of the prejudice about Alice’s birth.’
She had to be certain. Laura swivelled on the seat to look at him. Avery had leaned forward, rested his forearms on his long thighs and was staring at his clasped hands. ‘You...you will marry me?’
He looked up at that and his lips curved into a smile that chilled her to the marrow. So must a master swordsman look when he was about to run through some hapless opponent. ‘But of course.’
‘And we will live together, with Alice? Be a family?’
‘Of course,’ he repeated. ‘Your powers of acting are established and you will find mine are almost as good. Alice will not be affected by any household rift. As for when we are alone, my dear, we will keep separate suites. I will come to you when I wish to get you with child, for as long as it takes, and, how shall I put this...doing only what it takes. I think I will settle for the conventional heir and a spare. You need not fear my demands will be onerous.’
The ice congealed around her heart so she could almost hear it cracking. ‘I imagine your mistress will be glad to have so much of your company, then,’ Laura said. She could almost feel pleasure that she sounded so indifferent.
‘I keep my vows,’ Avery said, and now she could hear the anger beneath the even, slightly mocking tone. ‘I have no mistress now, nor will I take one. You may be sure I will be faithful, my dear.’
‘So you expect us both to suffer?’
‘Suffer?’ He shrugged. ‘Sexual release is a mechanical matter, I do not expect to experience any pain of deprivation.’
‘But we could have had so much more,’ Laura flung at him and took hold of his lapels, shook him, desperate to crack the mocking facade.
‘We could have had,’ Avery agreed. ‘You have ensured we never will.’
When her hands dropped away from his coat he dug in his pocket and produced a small box. ‘You see, I came prepared. Think of the pleasure of displaying this to Lady Amelia and her friends.’ The square-cut diamond glittered in the sunlight. Beautiful, cold, expensive.
‘Thank you,’ Laura said steadily as she drew off her left glove and held out her hand. ‘I must obviously take my pleasures where I may. You can be sure I will gloat in the most ladylike manner.’
He said nothing, but took her hand in his and slid the ring onto her finger. It was a perfect fit. Laura looked at the arrogant, masculine, beautiful face and did not flinch when he raised his eyes and met her gaze. I love you, she thought. I would have shown you that love, heart and soul.
Avery’s eyes narrowed as if he saw something in her face, then he turned away with a slight shake of his head. He pulled on his ruined gloves, unwound the reins and clicked his tongue at the horses.
Laura kept her eyes on his profile and felt the ice crack even further until the pain told her everything she needed to know. It is too late. What have I done?
* * *
She had her composure intact when they returned to the house. She smiled and thanked Avery prettily for the lovely drive, she laughed gaily at her own clumsiness as she hobbled up the front steps on his arm, she lowered her lashes demurely when she saw her hostess approaching and let her see the great diamond on her finger.
The reaction was most gratifying. Or it would have been if all she cared about was securing a husband and suppressing gossip. The sideways looks, the sharply indrawn breaths, the tutting disapproval, all vanished as if they had never been. Lady Laura Campion had secured the hand of a most eligible nobleman and all was as it should be.
Even the young ladies who had hoped to receive a proposal from Avery and who had sniggered with horrified delight over her disgrace that morning had the sense to hide their chagrin now. Lady Wykeham was going to be a power in society and they had no intention of earning her enmity now.
Laura could only feel relief at the change, although she gave no sign of her feelings about their hypocrisy. After all, she was the greatest hypocrite there. She showed off her ring, feigned modest delight, fluttered her eyelashes at Avery when he was not looking at her and did everything expected of her other than summon up a blush.
‘Yes,’ she agreed, dabbing at her dry eyes with a lace-edged handkerchief. ‘It is so sad my parents are not here to share my happiness. No, I have no idea where we will be married. I will leave that decision to Lord Wykeham.’
‘St George’s, Hanover Square,’ Avery said, strolling up to the tea table in time to hear her. ‘I intend to stay at the town house for the remainder of the Season and I can see no reason to delay the ceremony, can you, my dear?’ His look of polite enquiry dared anyone to so much as think an early date might be a necessity, not a matter of choice. ‘Have you finished your tea, Laura? I think it time we shared our news with my daughter.’
‘Of course.’ She stood and took his arm and allowed herself to be guided from the room, but instead of walking through to the garden entrance and the terrace where the children were playing Avery opened the door to a small sitting room.
‘In here. I need to make something very clear.’
‘Well?’ Laura shook off his hand and swung round to face him. ‘What is your latest demand?’
‘You will give me your word that you will never, under any circumstances, tell Alice the identity of her mother.’
Laura stared at him. The thought that she was now in a position to tell Alice the truth had never occurred to her, she was just so happy that she would be with her, despite Avery’s loathing. Now she realised that it would be the most natural thing in the world to tell her daughter the truth.
‘But I must tell her! Not yet, of course, but when she is of an age to understand. She has the right to know her mother loved her, always.’
‘She has the right not to be hurt any more than she has been,’ Avery said.
‘Why, you are afraid I will tell her you are not her true father! That is it.’ His expression became even stonier. ‘You coward, you think she will cease to love you.’
Avery moved like a snake striking. His hand fastened around her wrist like a manacle and her pulse jolted so he must have felt it like a hammer-strike. ‘Tell her who either of her parents is and you will regret it. Alice has a hard enough path to follow in order to shake off the legacy you bequeathed her and establish herself
