Madeline frowned. ‘Do you wish for such a position?’
‘It would be a solution to my problems,’ he said. ‘But I am not sure...it might depend on several things. Adam’s present agent retires in six months so there is time to think it over.’
‘Yes, of course,’ she said.
Hal was clearly undecided how he felt about his cousin’s offer. Adam had made it in a spirit of generosity and it was not unknown for such a position to go to a trusted relative, but she was not sure how she felt about the idea. Jenny and Adam were such generous people and she was already fond of them, but Madeline had thought Hal meant to settle near her friend Hattie in Cambridgeshire.
However, she could have no opinion on a matter that was for Hal to decide. Yet it crossed her mind that if she were to sell most of the jewels in her late husband’s box, Hal would have no reason to consider the offer. She imagined the jewels might bring sufficient to pay off his father’s debts and allow him to retain his family’s estate as well as his own.
Yet how could she offer them to him when he had not yet formally asked her to be his wife—and would he accept if she did?
Madeline still felt a little guilty over the way the box had come into her possession. If there were a claimant to Lethbridge’s estate she would be morally obliged to hand back a substantial part of her late husband’s wealth. But she shut out these anxieties, determined that nothing should spoil her outing with Hal.
She smiled at him as he handed her up. The mare she’d been given was spirited with a sweet mouth that responded to the merest touch of the reins. It tossed its head, as though to challenge her, but she held the reins in a manner that showed she was in command and the mare responded, quieting at the sound of her soothing voice.
As they trotted out of the courtyard and the horses felt the springy turf beneath their hooves, Madeline let her mount have its head. The sensation of speed as they flew over the ground, the mare hardly seeming to touch it with her hooves, was exhilarating and everything but the joy of the morning was swept from her mind.
Hal’s horse was on its mettle to keep up with Madeline and the spirited mare, though he seemed content to race at her side and she thought he would not have left her behind if he could. She turned her head to smile at him and saw the gleam in his eyes that told her he had as much pleasure from their ride as she.
They were well matched and rode for some time, then, as the horses began to show signs of having worked off their restive energy, they slowed to a walk and finally brought them to a halt by a shallow stream. Dismounting, they led the horses to a spot where they could drink and stood admiring the view of green fields as far as the eye could see, dotted here and there with ancient trees that must have stood here for at least two hundred years.
‘We are still on the Ravenscar estate?’ Madeline asked.
‘Yes, these fields are used for pasture at certain times of the year. I dare say my uncle has three thousand acres or more, including the farms he lets to tenants.’
‘It is a large estate—and must be a burden for the earl.’
‘It would be had he no agents and no son.’
‘You said his surviving son was in Italy. Why does he not come home to lift the worry from his father’s shoulders?’
‘He blames himself for...’ Hal shook his head. ‘I think Paul feels that he is the usurper here. His brother should have been earl when Lord Ravenscar dies and Paul cannot yet accept that he has the responsibility that ought to have been Mark’s’
‘Surely he knows his father needs him?’
‘Adam and I told him we would do what we could. Paul needs time away. I imagine he will return soon.’
‘Yes, of course,’ Madeline said. ‘Oh, there are some black swans! I think them so majestic. A pity we have nothing to feed them with.’
‘I think the keepers feed them with special food. The earl does not encourage giving them bread.’
‘Ah, I see.’ Maddie moved away, but Hal took her shoulder and turned her back to face him. She gazed up at him, a question in her eyes. ‘Yes, Hal—did you wish to say something to me?’
‘You must know I care for you, Maddie.’
‘You have been everything that is kind and good to me... Yes, I do believe that you have affection for me.’
‘My feelings are stronger than mere affection,’ he said, his voice throaty with passion. ‘I want you to be my wife as soon as it is possible, Maddie—but you must believe that I understand how you feel. I know you have suffered and I shall never—’
She put her gloved fingers to his lips. ‘I want to be your wife, Hal,’ she said, her voice little more than a whisper, ‘but...I fear I am not worthy of you. Lethbridge despoiled me...I feel unclean...’
A tear slid from the corner of her eye. Hal reached out and wiped it gently away with his bare hand. He stroked her cheek softly. Madeline felt a tingling sensation inside and for a moment her heart raced. Would he kiss her? She longed for it and yet feared it, for if she froze in his arms he might come to despise her and that she could not bear.
‘You must never think such a thing,’ he said and his eyes darkened with anger. ‘I cannot know the extent of your suffering at that monster’s hand, Maddie, but I swear you will never suffer at mine. I shall never ask more than you can give. And you are not unworthy no matter what that devil did to you.’
‘Hal...I do not deserve such love.’
‘You deserve much more,’ he vowed and took her hands, kissing them tenderly and then letting her go. ‘Remember that I would give my life for you—and I would rather die than hurt you. We should return to the house before they send out a search party.’
His jest brought a tearful smile, but she lifted her head proudly and gave him her hand, letting him assist her into the saddle. Hal understood and he was telling her that he would wed her even if she could never be a proper wife to him—but would she be fair to him if she accepted?
* * *
The afternoon was spent pleasantly in conversation. Madeline played the pianoforte for the entertainment of the others and Jenny sang a sweet love song, her eyes seeking Adam’s across the room. Lord Ravenscar’s old-fashioned courtesy charmed Madeline and insensibly she began to feel at home. It was a comfortable, happy atmosphere and Madeline knew that she was beginning to relax her guard here with these kind people. She laughed several times as Adam teased Jenny and the two ladies linked arms, chatting amiably as they went upstairs to change after tea.
It was beginning to seem that the nightmare of her former life was fading from her memory, though now and then something would be said that reminded her sharply. She gave no thought at all to the attack on her as she walked back to the farm and was inclined to dismiss it as perhaps the work of rogues. Here at this lovely estate she must be perfectly safe, for even if the marquis—if it were he who had sent those rogues to abduct her—discovered where she was, he would not dare to attempt anything while she was surrounded by friends.
Another pleasant evening spent with Hal’s family and their guests, invited for dinner and cards, brought laughter to her lips and a sense of peace to her heart. Madeline had forgotten that life could be so sweet.
