my lady, I shall not accept them,’ Sally said, her mouth set determinedly. ‘I must tell you that I think you wrong to leave the protection of this house. You have good friends here who will care for you until Major Ravenscar returns. He loves you. You are making a great mistake to throw away a love like that. Forgive me for speaking out, but it is the truth.’
‘Yes, perhaps it is,’ Madeline said and her chest was tight with pain. ‘I know that you care for me and I am not angry that you spoke as you feel—but I cannot let Hal ruin himself for me. I love him too much to see him lose all that is dear to him.’
‘I cannot agree with you, my lady, but I see there is no changing your mind. If you are determined to leave, I shall come with you.’
‘Ask Thomas to prepare. We must slip away quietly and take a chaise from the posting house in the village.’ She picked up her purse and took some gold coins from it, giving them to Sally. ‘He may go on ahead of us and hire the chaise. Go to him now and tell him, then pack your things. I must write some letters—and I shall meet you in the rose arbour in one hour. If something should delay me, wait until I come for I shall not fail.’
‘If you are sure, my lady?’
‘Perfectly sure,’ Madeline said. ‘Please, do not try to dissuade me. It is hard enough as it is.’
Sally looked grave, but went out of the room, shaking her head over it. Madeline knew her maid would not be easily persuaded to leave her at Dover, but once there she could find a ship for herself and find a way to slip away. She must not let Sally and Thomas give up their dream for her sake. It was time that she learned to look after herself.
Sitting down at the pretty writing desk near the window, Maddie took some notepaper from the drawer and began to write the letters she would leave for Hal and Jenny. They were the hardest she’d ever penned in her life and she screwed up her first attempts.
It was easier to write to Jenny than to Hal. She wrote of her pleasure in her visit to Ravenscar and in the friendship she’d formed with Jenny, assuring her that she regretted leaving and hoped she would be forgiven.
I do not leave lightly, but I cannot bring disgrace and trouble on such good friends. Rochdale intends to ruin us and I fear he will not be satisfied even if every penny of the debt Lethbridge owed him is paid—so I hope to avert scandal by leaving your house. I know that some gossip may still circulate, but it should not fall on you if I am gone. I believe Hal may weather the storm if I am not there to bring further shame on him—and I would not have him lose everything he cares for, for my sake. Please forgive this selfish wretch for bringing trouble to you. I am so grateful and for ever your friend,
Madeline.
It was so much harder to write to Hal. If she gave him hope he might search for her so she could not write of undying love. She must not hurt him more than absolutely necessary and she could not give him a clue where she intended to go for he would come after her. She must, however, convince him that she did not wish to marry. She wrote at last,
My very dear Hal, I hardly know how to write this for I know, whatever I say, I must inflict pain and that is far from my wish. You have been all that is good and honourable and I know you would give up your very life for me, but I am not worthy of you, my love. I have thought about the future and I believe that what Lethbridge did to me has scarred me for life. Although I love and honour you, I fear I can never be the wife you want. You cannot even begin to imagine the humiliation I suffered or to understand the disgust for the physical side of love he instilled in me. I believe I shall never marry again and therefore I am setting you free. I shall always think you the kindest man I know and I wish with all my heart that you will forget me and find a new love.
With me gone, Rochdale will not bother you again. You may be free of the shadows I brought to your life and find happiness.
Madeline
The tears trickled down her cheek as she sanded her letter and then folded it, sealing it with wax. She would leave the letters on the dressing table, where they would be found when Jenny came in search of her.
Picking up her bags, she strapped the satchel over her body and then covered it with a warm velvet cloak. She could hide the larger bag under the voluminous cloak until she was out of the house. Jenny would not rise for another two hours for she would sleep late after the dance the previous evening. Adam might be about, but if she slipped out by a side door she might avoid being seen as she left the house.
Luck was with her, and other than one maid and a footman in the hall, she met no one as she went downstairs. They looked at her in surprise for it was early and she was dressed in a thick cloak, which was unusual for a mild morning, but they took little notice. She was a guest in the house and it was not their business to enquire where she went or what she did. The footman did notice that she was carrying a bag, but he was on his way to breakfast in the servants’ hall and gave it no more than a passing thought at the time.
Having escaped the house without challenge, Madeline walked swiftly to the rose arbour, where she found Sally waiting for her. The girl had a satchel over her shoulder and carried two bags, which probably contained all her things. Clearly, she did not intend returning to claim the clothes and possessions Madeline had left behind. She would have to give them something else instead. Perhaps one day when she was settled she could ask Jenny to sell the things that remained and send the money to her. She would need to wait for some months or more to give Hal time to get over the shock of her departure.
‘What did Thomas say?’ Madeline asked. ‘Has he gone to secure the chaise for us?’
‘Yes, my lady. I told him what you said about leaving you at Dover and he says he can open a tavern in France as easily as here.’
‘You are both so good to me,’ Madeline said in a voice choked with emotion. She doubted that Thomas knew more than two words of French and would find it very much harder to run an inn in France. However, she knew better than to argue, for her friends would protect her as best they could even if she tried to send them away. The only thing she could do would be to slip away to a ship when they reached the port.
* * *
The Marquis of Rochdale scowled as he was compelled to stop at the blacksmith to have one of his horses shod. Having outstayed his welcome at his cousin’s house, he’d been forced to leave sooner than he would have wished. His henchmen had followed Madeline from the farm to the Earl of Ravenscar’s house, which, being close enough to his cousin’s estate, had made it easy for him to attend various social events in the district. Madeline had not ventured far from Ravenscar, but he’d managed to wangle an invitation to Jenny Miller’s dance, which had brought him face to face with his quarry.
Seeing her in Hallam Ravenscar’s arms had made him furious. His threats had been vicious and made in anger. Lethbridge owed him fifteen thousand pounds, which was a debt of honour and would probably be settled by whoever had inherited the estate if it were possible, though he knew that Lethbridge was badly dipped and his estate already mortgaged. A man with so much to lose would never have taken to cheating at the tables if he’d not had good reason.
Be damned to the money! Rochdale was rich enough despite his predilection to high stakes at the tables and a temporary setback in his finances. It was revenge he wanted—revenge on that proud beauty who had dared to lead him on and then defied him in the gardens, making him look a fool. Her lover had rescued her then and Rochdale was not a man to forgive humiliation. She had become an obsession with him and the longing she aroused in him was beyond his control. Yet if he could have her and the money so much the better. Before
