one theory,’ Lucy conceded, although she doubted it was true. Oh, she didn’t dispute that Connor and Dee might be having a relationship—how could she when everything pointed towards it? However, it seemed far more likely that Dee had been the one to follow Connor back to England. She couldn’t imagine him going anywhere at someone else’s behest. Whatever Connor wanted always came first, and other people were expected to fall in with his wishes.
The thought was more than a little scary in the circumstances so she decided it was time to cut short the conversation. ‘That’s just about everything now so I’ll be off. Have a good night.’
‘I’ll try.’ Bea smiled sympathetically as Lucy hurried to the door. ‘I expect you’re anxious to see Isabel. I remember how much I hated leaving my kids when they were little, but needs must. And at least you were able to get her into the hospital’s crèche. That must have made life a bit easier.’
‘It was a godsend, them opening it just before I was due to return to work,’ Lucy agreed. ‘I don’t know how I’d have managed if I’d had to take Izzy to a childminder before I came into work this morning. It’s amazing how much stuff one small baby needs!’
‘It doesn’t get any better when they’re teenagers,’ Bea retorted. ‘The essentials just get bigger and more expensive!’
‘Thanks! That’s really cheered me up.’
Lucy was still laughing when she left the office. She hurried along the corridor, bypassing the nursing station and waving when she saw a couple of members of the night staff behind the desk. She knew that if she stopped to speak to them it would hold her up, and she was anxious to collect Izzy and take her home.
The newly opened staff crèche was in the old part of the building and had taken over the former site of the physiotherapy department. Lucy went straight there but there were still a lot of people ahead of her when she arrived, and she had to queue up to sign in. She’d almost reached the front of the queue when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned round and her heart leapt when she found Connor standing behind her.
‘What are you doing here?’ she demanded, not making any attempt to hide her displeasure.
‘What do you think?’ He smiled thinly. ‘I thought now would be as good a time as any to meet my daughter.’
‘Sh! Keep your voice down,’ Lucy admonished, frantically looking over his shoulder. Fortunately the woman behind them in the queue was talking to her friend and didn’t appear to have heard what he’d said. Nevertheless, she was furious with him for being so indiscreet.
‘People are going to find out at some point,’ he stated coolly. ‘Maybe you would prefer to keep quiet about me being Isabel’s father but I have no intention of lying.’
‘It isn’t up to you, though, Connor. It’s my decision what I choose to tell people. And if I prefer not to tell them about you, that’s what will happen.’
‘Meaning that I don’t have a choice in the matter?’ He shook his head. ‘Sorry, Lucy, but it isn’t up to you to make that decision on your own. It’s something we need to discuss, along with a lot of other things concerning our daughter.’
‘What other things?’
‘All sorts of things, and far too many to list at the moment if you don’t want anyone overhearing.’
His tone was flat yet she sensed a certain tension about him, which surprised her. It was unlike Connor to display his feelings. He’d always been very cool and contained, keeping his emotions in check—apart from when they’d been sharing their most intimate moments, of course.
The memory of their love-making brought a rush of heat to her cheeks and she turned away, busying herself with signing her name in the visitors’ book. Security was tight and only parents or people designated by a parent were allowed inside the crèche. She moved away from the desk, then paused. If Connor tried to follow her, he would have problems getting in. Even though she hated the thought of him meeting Izzy, she didn’t want to run the risk of him causing a scene.
‘Dr Mackenzie is with me,’ she informed the nursery nurse who was standing guard at the door. ‘Is it all right if he comes in with me?’
‘So long as he signs the book,’ the girl agreed. ‘Shall I add him to the list of people authorised to see Izzy?’
‘No,’ Lucy said quickly.
‘Yes.’ Connor signed his name, ignoring the furious look she shot at him. He treated the girl to one of his most captivating smiles. ‘If it isn’t too much trouble.’
‘Of course not!’ The young nursery nurse beamed at him. ‘Just fill in this card with your contact details and hand it back to me on your way out. I’ll do the rest.’
‘Thanks.’ Connor pocketed the card then slid his hand under Lucy’s elbow and steered her away from the desk. He shook his head when she opened her mouth to protest. ‘Save it till later. I don’t want Izzy getting upset because she’s seen us fighting.’
Lucy’s lips clamped together. She couldn’t argue with that sentiment, but she resented his high-handed attitude and intended to tell him that as soon as she got the chance.
She shrugged off his hand as they entered the main section of the crèche, which had once housed the physiotherapy department’s gymnasium. It had been transformed into an attractive play area now, complete with a large plastic slide and shelves full of toys. A separate room had been set aside for the babies so she went straight there, her face breaking into a smile when she saw Izzy sitting on a rug in the corner. The little girl was happily beating a plastic saucepan with a wooden spoon and Lucy felt a rush of love assail her as she knelt down beside her.
‘Hello, darling. Are you having a lovely time?’
Izzy immediately dropped the spoon and held out her arms to be picked up. Lucy lifted her into the air and blew a raspberry on her tummy, feeling her eyes fill with tears as she inhaled the familiar scent of baby powder. Today had been the first time they’d been apart since Izzy had been born and she had missed her so much.
‘Aren’t you going to introduce us?’
She looked round when Connor spoke and maybe it was because she was already feeling so emotional that a lump came to her throat when she saw the expression on his face. He was staring at Izzy with such wonderment that the coldest heart would have melted.
All of a sudden she felt ashamed of her decision to keep Izzy’s existence a secret from him. At the time it had seemed like the right thing to do but it no longer felt that way. And yet if she accepted Connor’s role in her daughter’s life, she would have to accept him as part of her life, too. Could she cope with being around him on that basis? Or would the strain prove too much?
Her heart began to race but there was no way that she could avoid the truth any longer. She still loved Connor, even though she knew that he had never really loved her.
‘HELLO, Izzy.’
Connor could barely speak for the wealth of emotions that had hit him the moment he’d seen the child.
