‘Is he good-looking?’ Helen asked, and Madison wished she hadn’t. In fact, she dearly wanted this conversation to be over.
‘I guess,’ Madison answered tartly. ‘If you like the “just got out of bed and bypassed the shower” look.’
‘Oh, but I do.’ Helen giggled. ‘Is he single?’
‘I didn’t ask.’ Madison bristled. ‘But from what Gerard told me, I’d assume so. He’s completely irresponsible—apparently he’d only commit to six months with the department.’
‘Hardly a hanging offence,’ Helen said laughingly, but Madison didn’t join in.
‘Gerard told me that when he appointed him, Guy had spent most of his medical career travelling the world, gaining experience. Which is fine and everything, but it hardly paints him as the most reliable of men!’
‘He must be rich, though, if he can afford to turn down a decent job.’
‘Money isn’t everything,’ Madison said tartly.
‘He sounds perfectly lovely,’ Helen sighed. ‘Maybe we can double date.’
‘I’m fully booked this century,’ Madison snapped. And given Helen wasn’t going to move, she made herself busy, slicing cucumber for the salad and putting on a pan of water for the rice. Even though the conversation had ended a good couple of minutes ago, Madison found herself reviving it. ‘Believe me, Guy Boyd would be the last person I’d date.’
‘Perhaps.’ Helen smiled, not rising to Madison’s rather brittle tone. ‘But have you ever thought of getting back out there?’
‘Out where?’ Madison asked, knowing perfectly well what Helen meant but deliberately stalling her.
‘Dating, Madison,’ Helen said. ‘It’s been five years since Mark died…’
‘And it’s taken me nearly all of them to get back on my feet,’ Madison pointed out. ‘I used the words “free spirit” affectionately when I first met Mark,’ Madison said. ‘I thought it was fun to follow your heart, live for today. I really believed Mark when he said that tomorrow would take care of itself. But unlike Mark, having a baby made me grow up, having a baby meant that I did start thinking about tomorrow…’
‘Madison, I know you’ve been hurt…’ Standing up, Helen checked the door was closed. ‘Heaven knows, you’ve got every reason to be wary, but there are some good guys out there.’
‘How do you know that?’ Madison’s words were as confused as they were angry. ‘I’m doing OK. Emily and I are doing just fine by ourselves!’ She shook her head, not at all ready to go there after such an emotionally charged day. ‘Can we drop it?’
‘Sure,’ Helen said kindly, but her tiny sigh told Madison that she’d have loved to have carried on with the conversation, would have loved to have pushed a little more. After a moment’s hesitation, a moment to wait and see if Madison was going to add anything further, Helen gave in and headed over to the fridge. She pulled out some chicken, chatting about something Richard had said to Emily. But as grateful as Madison was for the change of subject, inside she felt jolted and uneasy, and it wasn’t just to do with Gerard’s death but with the pace of her own life. The fact that Helen, after the appalling marriage she’d been through, after swearing off men for the next century at least, could even contemplate taking up the baton and resuming the race was beyond Madison’s comprehension.
Helen was moving on with her life, suggesting even that Madison do the same.
Only she truly wasn’t ready.
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