told him I hadn’t enjoyed sex with him the first time around and that I felt sorry for his short-suffering wife.’
He laughed.
‘You’re not married, are you?’ Freya checked.
He could lie, she guessed, but she felt he wouldn’t.
There was no point in lying.
‘Oh, no,’ Zack said. ‘And I have no intention to ever be. This is absolutely guilt-free sex, baby...’
Freya doubted this encounter would be entirely guilt free, no doubt she’d be crawling with shame a few hours from now, but that was her.
‘Do you have any New Year’s resolutions?’ he asked.
‘Many,’ Freya said. She had pored over them for hours and had them all written out.
‘Such as?’
They were mostly the same as every other year—unlike other people, who seemed to swear to go on a diet or exercise, Freya’s resolution was to not embark on a sudden diet or obsess over exercise. Not that she told him that.
Neither did she tell him about the baby she wanted and her dream of having her own little family.
Nor did she tell him that she was over men. Though perhaps not completely over them, given where she was.
So she just lay there, overthinking but oddly lulled by the soothing stroke of his hands and the nudge of his erection behind her. No, there was no need to tell him about the career she wanted to tackle but had been avoiding doing so.
‘I made my list of resolutions yesterday after my run,’ Freya said.
‘Do you run a lot?’ he asked, his fingers examining her slim, toned body.
‘On alternate days,’ Freya said.
‘And what do you do on the other one?’
‘I go for a walk,’ Freya said, and the threat of tears was back but she held them in, although she did admit a truth she would never dare to another. ‘And I try not to run.’ She was more honest with a stranger than the people closest to her and his response was kind.
He gave a light kiss to her shoulder.
‘It’s okay.’
He could feel her near to tears and he got that.
Anonymity at times came with deep trust, for you were at your most bare.
‘I ran,’ Zack said. ‘Well, I’m not a runner but I ran from all that was expected of me and I’m still running.’
She couldn’t imagine him running from anything.
He was so confrontational to all of her senses she could not imagine there were things he might not be able to face.
‘So what list of resolutions did you make?’ he asked.
She smiled as he ran a lazy hand down her body and pulled her into him.
‘Making more time for the things I like.’
‘And me,’ Zack said, and he started to kiss her neck.
‘Try new things...’ Freya said, and the arm under her moved and fingers came to her small breast and stroked it.
‘I like that one too.’
He pinched her nipple and she properly understood what he’d meant about him picturing her undoing his button flies because in her mind’s eye she could see those brown fingers squeezing her hard. Instead of slapping him away, she took a shaky breath as he squeezed it tight again and she felt like a bud bursting.
He took her hand and put it between her legs and then, still tweaking her breasts, his other hand met hers between her legs and they explored her.
‘Not that one,’ Freya said, and he laughed into her shoulder.
‘I’m just feeling you all over,’ Zack said. Working out boundaries had never been more fun. ‘I want to taste you all over.’
‘I don’t like oral,’ Freya said.
God, this was freeing, just to say it outright! To declare her needs and to state what she didn’t want.
‘You would.’
‘No, thank you.’
He took himself in his hand and aimed the head at her fingers and moistened them as she brought herself, with a very nice lot of help from him, right to the edge.
‘Not yet...’ he said.
‘You don’t dictate my orgasm,’ Freya responded in a brittle voice, trying to remember how she dictated her world.
‘Oh, but I do.’
He went against everything she believed in the bedroom but fantastically so.
He was right at her entrance and she refused to beg, she just lay on her side, hot with anticipation. The easiest thing to do would be to not play safe but he rolled away from her and she heard the tear of foil. Freya loathed the intrusion but then he was back, lifting her hair and warming up her neck again with his mouth.
‘Watch my neck,’ Freya warned.
‘Wear your hair down.’
‘Okay.’
They both smiled at the ease of the solution.
He was making a terrible mess, she was sure, and she was doing all she could not to beg when finally he slid in and she moaned because she was swollen from last night, and it hurt quite a bit.
His large thigh came over her and he took her very slowly, painstakingly so, and she pressed back, trying to hurry him.
‘What would you have done if you’d come to my room?’ he asked.
‘Guess,’ Freya said through gritted teeth. It was obvious to her they would have had sex, only he wasn’t letting her get away with that.
‘Would you have knocked?’
‘I don’t know...’ She was frantic, wanting to close her eyes and just focus on her building orgasm—not be dragged into conversation.
‘I’d left the door open,’ he said.
‘Faster...’ she begged.
‘Would you have knocked?’ he persisted, taking her at a slow, leisurely pace.
‘No.’ He gave it to her faster as a reward for her answer and then slowed when she didn’t elaborate.
‘I’d have come in,’ Freya said as he dragged out her fantasy, as he made her reveal her thoughts.
‘I
