wait, he’s going to make you proud.’
Zack nodded. Maria didn’t need to know that those were the words he dreaded, and why he didn’t have pictures of smiling children lining a regular office.
He didn’t want the strain on a teenager’s face as their father shook Zack’s hand and said a similar thing.
Paulo owed him nothing.
Not even a good life.
It was up to Paulo.
His life was his to live.
‘Shouldn’t you get something to eat?’ Sonia broke into his thoughts. ‘I could be calling on you a lot throughout the night.’
Zack nodded. ‘I just rang down and asked for a meal to be left in my office.’ Sonia was right, he had done all he could, and for now Paulo was critical but stable and there was a whole team starting to take over his care. ‘I’m going to try and grab an hour of sleep,’ he said. ‘Page me for anything. Don’t wait.’
‘Sure.’
He headed down and just nodded to James, who was speaking with Stephanie at Reception. Zack was thankful that James understood he wasn’t in the mood to speak and just gave him an appreciative nod back.
He walked past Freya’s open door and she saw that but then Zack turned around.
‘I’m not ignoring you,’ he said. ‘I just can’t talk to anyone right now.’
‘Fair enough.’ Freya smiled. She was prickly about last night but wasn’t selfish enough to address that now.
‘I’ve spoken with Maria and she says you can release the news that he’s out of Theatre.’
‘Thanks.’
Still he didn’t leave.
‘Sorry about last night,’ Zack said. ‘I wouldn’t have been much company.’
‘That’s fine.’ And they looked at each other for a long time, Freya trying to bite back from saying that it didn’t all have to be about sex, but well aware he didn’t need her stuff now.
‘For what it’s worth,’ Zack said, ‘I regretted it.’
And Freya said nothing. She guessed more than ten hours of surgery counted for a little lapse and that he might also later regret saying what he just had.
‘I’m going to get something to eat.’
‘Well, whatever you ordered was just delivered to your office and, I have to say, it smells amazing. Go and have a rest,’ Freya said. She had never seen someone look so wiped out.
‘I’m just going to try and grab an hour and then head back up there.’
‘Do you want me to come and wake you?’
‘Would you?’
‘Sure.’
Zack went to go and then again changed his mind. ‘Freya, could you take my pager and answer it? If it’s PICU come and get me straight away but if it’s anyone else...’
‘Sure.’
‘Were you going home?’ Zack checked.
‘Nope.’
The food was amazing, and he ate it and then rehydrated with more water. Then he lay back on the plush couch and tried not to go over the surgery in his head. He just wanted to clear his mind.
Only he couldn’t.
Twice during the surgery he’d thought he’d been wrong to take the procedure on. One hour in, he had considered closing but had pushed on. Five hours in he had been certain that the heart was too much of a mess, but it wasn’t as if he’d had any choice by then but to carry on.
Watching that heart start beating when it had come off bypass, he’d heard the elation in the theatre but had said nothing.
Going in to speak to Maria, he had warned her that the next forty-eight hours were critical and had been guarded with his optimism. No matter how Zack had warned her that Paulo might not make it through surgery, that the little boy had survived was more of a miracle than Maria would ever know.
Since the operation started he had not been able to relax for a moment yet now he had to.
And Freya knew that too.
His pager buzzed and when she saw that it wasn’t from PICU Freya rang the switchboard. ‘He’s not taking any calls unless it’s PICU. If you can take a message I’ll pass it on.’
‘Sure,’ the operator said, and Freya waited and then frowned when the operator came back on. ‘It’s his father calling from Australia, he says that it’s urgent.’
‘Okay,’ Freya said. What choice did she have? ‘I’ll let him know.’
Freya knocked on the door to his office and went in. ‘Zack,’ Freya said. ‘Zack!’
‘Is it PICU?’ He sat straight up on the second call.
‘No...’
‘Later, Freya.’
‘It’s your father,’ Freya said. ‘He says that it’s urgent.’ She handed his impatient hand the phone.
‘What’s going on?’ Zack asked. ‘Is it Mum?’
He saw Freya standing there and he glanced up, about to tell her, as she had once told him, that he’d like some privacy, given it was clearly a personal call. Then he saw the concern in her face and it wasn’t intrusive.
Freya saw his glance and realised she was hovering, and tried to remember the rules, but as she went to go he caught her wrist and frowned as his father spoke on. ‘Zack, I need some medical advice. Do you remember Tara?’
‘Of course I remember Tara, Dad.’ Zack’s jaw gritted—did they think he had no soul just because he hadn’t stayed? ‘Is she okay?’
‘Tara’s doing well, it’s the baby that’s causing me some concern.’
‘Tell me.’
‘He was four weeks premature and breech but healthy, they kept him in for five days and he was discharged at birth weight.
‘He’s fourteen days old now and for the last couple of days Tara’s been coming in. The baby seems to be doing well but...’
‘Dad?’ Zack frowned because his father sounded hesitant yet he was the best diagnostician Zack knew.
‘He’s eating, he’s drinking and he’s crying. I can’t put my finger on it, Zack, but there’s something not right. There’s a big emergency north of here, only high-priority transfers...’
‘What does Tara
