was just being friendly,” Erik said modestly. He picked up a menu and pretended to be immediately engrossed in it.
Belana reached up and lowered the menu in his hands. “Don’t worry. I know you’re faithful to your infatuation with Ana. Back to my earlier question, why can’t men be faithful?”
“To be fair, sis,” Erik said, putting the menu on the table, “women cheat, too. Who do you suppose the males are cheating with? The straight males, I mean. We are talking about heterosexuals?”
“Of course,” said Belana with a touch of impatience.
“Don’t get snippy, baby sis, or I’ll have to remind you why you’re really upset about Ana’s boyfriend’s infidelity.”
Belana flashed him a belligerent challenge with her eyes. “Go on, Dr. Phil,” she said through clenched teeth.
“Nicolas Reed.” After Erik had said the dreaded name he instantly regretted it. His sister’s eyes filled with tears and she started sniffing to hold them at bay. He snapped up a white cloth napkin from the table and handed it to her. “Sorry,” he said simply, his tone pleading for forgiveness. Belana took the napkin and dabbed at her wet face.
She attempted a weak smile. “Damn, why do I still do that?”
“Because you were in love with the guy and you don’t want to admit it,” Erik said as if the explanation should be obvious to her.
“That can’t be it,” Belana denied emphatically. “I did the right thing by breaking up with him. He showed his true colors after only two months together; once a cheater, always a cheater.”
“Yeah, but you said you two hadn’t had the commitment conversation yet. He didn’t know you wanted an exclusive relationship. You told me he looked shocked when you told him why you didn’t want to see him anymore. You can’t punish a guy for breaking the rules if the rules aren’t even in place.”
“I instinctively knew we belonged together,” said Belana, knowing she sounded unreasonable. “Why didn’t he?”
“Come on now, sis, you know how you’ve held men at arm’s length for years because you were the one afraid of settling down. And no wonder. You were abandoned by your mother when you were barely two and she hasn’t made any effort to be in your life ever since. Yes, you would wonder if you’d inherited her lack of commitment. Now, though, you know you’re not like our mother. You have the capacity for long-term commitment. You just need to find the right guy. And you cry at the mention of Nicolas Reed because you think you might have missed your chance due to a case of miscommunication. Sounds to me as if he was hoping you wanted to be exclusive, but you weren’t honest with him.” Erik paused, waiting for Belana’s response to his accusation. All he got from his sister was more silent tears.
She rose. “Excuse me.”
Erik rose too, his hand on her elbow. “Are you all right? Should we go?”
Belana shook her head and picked up her bag. “I just need to wash my face. If the waiter comes before I get back, order for me. You know what I want.”
Erik sat down, feeling helpless. Why hadn’t he kept his big mouth shut this time? He and Belana had always been close. Their parents divorced when Belana was two and he was seven. He remembered the fights between his parents as vividly as if they had occurred yesterday. Their mother, Mari Elizabeth Whitaker, known as Mari Tautou today, accused their father, John, of hindering her career, of trying to keep her barefoot and pregnant. Mari was a dancer. Belana had inherited that much from Mari. That’s where the comparisons ended. Mari had never wanted to be a mother. The housekeeper, Mrs. Kent, got Erik up for school every morning, made his breakfast, saw him off to school. When he returned, she was there to give him an afternoon snack, make sure he did his homework, give him dinner and put him to bed at night. Belana was too young to remember the neglect by their mother, but he hadn’t been. Mari couldn’t even fake affection. He had felt loved by their father, but he had felt like an inconvenience to his mother. Those were not warm memories. He thanked God he had Mrs. Kent and his grandmother, Drusilla, as mother figures. Drusilla was kind enough not to deride his mother in his presence, even though he was quite sure Drusilla didn’t like her. Now that he was an adult, Drusilla no longer held her tongue on the subject of Mari. She’d told him he had better not marry a woman simply because she was beautiful. His choice had better have something wonderful going for her other than her looks. “Your father was blinded by your mother’s looks,” Drusilla said of Mari. “If he had bothered to look deeper he wouldn’t have had anything to do with her.” Then she had smiled and gently rubbed his cheek. “He did get two good things out of his marriage, you and Belana.”
Erik sighed deeply. The reason he had made Belana face her feelings for Nicolas Reed was because if she had dropped him because she feared commitment, and the misunderstanding that broke them up was not as monumental as Belana had described it, then she was allowing her mother to win. Allowing Mari to have an adverse affect on her life, when Mari never wanted to be a part of her life made no sense to Erik. By no means should Mari have that much influence. He would do everything in his power to prevent it.
The waiter arrived. He cleared his throat because Erik was still deep in his own thoughts. “Good evening, sir. Would you like to hear the specials?”
“No,” said Erik. “Just bring me two cheeseburgers, fries and vanilla milk shakes.”
Belana liked comfort food after a show closed. Something in her was in mourning whenever a show ran its course. Carbohydrates gave her an emotional boost. Plus, she only splurged a few times a year; every other day of the year she stuck to a healthy diet.
“Right away, sir,” said the waiter, a thin, middle-aged black man with a thin, graying mustache and absolutely no hair on his head. He wore the customary uniform consisting of a white shirt, black slacks and black comfortable shoes.
When Belana returned, looking refreshed, she sat down to a meal that had just been brought to their table. She smiled at her brother. “You’re an angel.”
Erik smiled knowingly. “Running an extra five miles is worth it.” He, too, liked to stay in shape.
They both said silent prayers before beginning to eat. Erik watched Belana attack her burger and smiled. “So what did you decide in the bathroom? To continue our conversation or ignore it altogether?”
Belana swallowed. She wiped some burger juices away from the corner of her mouth with the cloth napkin. “I’m not going to ignore it. But what can I do? It’s been eight months, he’s probably moved on. He was dating someone else when I ran into them, remember?”
“That doesn’t mean he’s dating her now,” Erik said around a mouthful of burger. Belana frowned at his poor table manners. When they were kids he used to gross her out by showing her the food in his mouth while he was eating. At least he’d stopped doing that.
Seeing her expression, Erik swallowed and took a sip of his milk shake while he awaited her response. When she still didn’t say anything, he said, “Chicken?”
“I would be humiliated if I phoned him to try to get back together with him and he’s involved with someone else,” she admitted. She took a big bite of burger and chewed slowly, very slowly, letting her brother know that she would not be replying to any antagonistic questions any time soon.
Erik knew her, though, and decided to eat in silence.
