Even knowing that Faisal did not want her he had still felt the need to torment and torture her. How he must hate her!
DAWN BROUGHT her no surcease from pain. Her heart felt like a lump of lead. How could she have thought—even for a moment—that Raschid actually wanted her? How could she have been so stupid? She had allowed her own love to blind her to the truth. Bitterly disillusioned, she contemplated the cynicism with which he had made use of her emotions, playing on them until she was too bemused to know what she was doing. That last painful scene her mind shied away from. Perhaps in time she might be able to relive it, but not now.
The bedroom door opened and Nadia walked in.
‘How are you feeling? I looked in earlier, but you were still sleeping, and Raschid said you were not to be disturbed.’
‘How thoughtful of him,’ Felicia said tightly. ‘But I’m fine. I think I’ll get up.’
‘Felicia….’ Nadia said gently, ‘what is wrong? You have been crying. Tell me what is the matter, or I shall go and bring Raschid. Are you not happy with us?’
She could not have hit upon a more effective threat. At the mention of Raschid’s name Felicia went white and then red.
‘Nadia, I must get away from here,’ she burst out desperately. ‘If you really do care anything for me, will you help me?’
‘To do what?’ Nadia asked shrewdly, coming to sit by the bed. ‘Return home, or escape from Raschid?’
‘Both,’ Felicia admitted bravely. ‘Raschid despises me, Nadia. Please help me,’ she sobbed. ‘I can’t endure to stay here any longer….’
Weak tears flowed helplessly down her cheeks, as though from some bottomless well, and Nadia’s own eyes moistened in sympathy.
‘I will do everything I can. I shall go and find Achmed, and ask him to make the arrangements. I am sorry that my family has brought you so much pain, for I see from your eyes that it has.’
‘And you will say nothing to Raschid, promise me?’
What fresh, subtle forms of torture might he not dream up, if he knew how she longed to get away? His behaviour last night had not been that of a man with human failings and feelings, but a cold emotionless machine bent on exacting the last measure of payment for the crimes of which he had convicted her. The relentless manner in which he had destroyed Faisal’s love for her, the way he had tortured her—they both pointed to a man without pity or compassion, and she had to get away—now—before her pride deserted her completely and she begged him to allow her to stay.
She would have to find Umm Faisal and Zahra and bid them goodbye, Felicia thought wretchedly when Nadia had gone. And then there was small Zayad and helpful Selina, so many people who had touched her heart during her short stay in Kuwait, so much pain when she had to leave them.
She eyed her reflection with distaste. Her hair was all tumbled, her skin flushed from its exposure to the sun. Her body felt gritty with the small particles of sand which had clung to the lotion Raschid had applied. She needed a bath, she decided tiredly, collecting her towel and wrap. Perhaps when she felt clean and fresh she would feel more inclined to tackle her packing.
Although her bedroom possessed a shower, there was only one communal bathroom in the women’s quarters, and her footsteps echoed across the tiled floor as she opened the door. The room really was huge, she thought, and the bath positively enormous. She turned on the taps, pouring essence of roses into the water and watching the oil turn the clear water into milky foam.
It felt good to immerse herself in its warm silkiness, and she soaped herself vigorously, as though by doing so she could wash away the memory of Raschid’s hands on her body.
The warmth of the water induced her taut muscles to relax, tempting her to linger, soaking in its perfumed embrace.
She never heard the door open, only the decisive footsteps crossing the marble tiles. She glanced up curiously and froze.
Raschid! Wordlessly she clutched the sponge protectively against her breasts, trying to sink beneath the milky cover of the water.
‘Why do you want to leave us?’
So Nadia had betrayed her!
‘What possible reason is there for me to stay, in a house where I’ve been abused, reviled, made mock of, tormented….’
‘Tormented?’ His sharp eyes fastened on her trembling hands.
‘Please go, Raschid,’ Felicia begged. ‘If Zahra or your sister were to….’
‘Interrupt us? They won’t. They decided to spend the night with Saud’s family, and Nadia has been warned not to intrude upon us. To make sure that she does not, I have taken a small precaution.’ He reached in his pocket and produced an intricately carved key. ‘So you see, my dear Felicia, you are completely at my mercy. Divine justice, one might say. I want to talk to you,’ he said suddenly, ‘and I cannot do so while you wriggle about in there like a shy fish searching for a lily pad. Besides,’ he added sardonically, his eyes resting on the soft curve of her breasts, luminously pale against the water, ‘I am quite sure the water must be getting cold.’
It was, but her wrap was on a chair out of reach, and she had no intention of leaving the comparative protection of the bath while Raschid remained in the room.
‘If you’ll leave me to get dressed, I will come down to your study,’ she suggested, avoiding his amused, comprehensive glance.
‘Leave you?’ Was it her imagination or had his voice suddenly become slightly husky? His glance impaled her, a curious melting sensation running through her bones. In that moment he swooped, lifting her out of the bath and holding her against him, uncaring of the water soaking through his silk shirt, or the shivers that coursed through her as she tried to hold aloof.
‘Last night when you denied me I thought you either the shrewdest little bitch I had ever met, or appallingly innocent,’ he said suddenly, making her tremble with the swiftness of his attack. ‘Why do you want to leave us, Felicia?’
‘You know why,’ she answered tremulously. His touch was completely impersonal, but she was not going to let him trick her a second time, betrayed by her inexperience into mistaking retribution for desire.
‘Do I?’
She trembled convulsively, tears spilling down her cheeks to lie damply against his throat.
His muffled imprecation reached her as his arms imprisoned her. ‘By Allah, Felicia. I want you!’ he groaned against her lips, stifling her protests. ‘I have wanted you from the moment I saw you. Last night when I discovered that Faisal had not touched you I didn’t know who I hated the most, you or myself.’
He broke off, as his body shuddered uncontrollably against her, cradling her against him, while he murmured something under his breath. She couldn’t move. She was frozen with terror—What was he trying to do? Make her betray herself again? She looked at him, her eyes wild with pain, her expression that of a trapped, tormented animal.
‘What do you want?’ she whispered in anguish. ‘Haven’t I paid enough? Just let me go.’
His skin flushed darkly as he looked at her, and she tensed,
