peace of her death might make things easier for Joey.
Could anything lessen the pain and trauma of a young child watching his mother die?
The night of the funeral had been the first time Joey had woken screaming and thrashing in his bed. The episode had taken years off Griffin’s life, but now he was used to the unsettling incidents. He’d wake within seconds of hearing the boy and bound to his bedside to comfort him. It was the only time Joey allowed himself to be touched.
It made Griffin’s heart break to feel that small body trembling in his arms and damned if he had any idea how to help the boy.
“I called Dr. Cunningham earlier,” he told his mother, massaging his hand against the back of his neck. “To say he was surprised to hear from me would be the understatement of the year.”
She smiled. “The thought of you calling your former pediatrician for advice is fairly shocking.”
“I get it. He gave me the names of a couple of child psychologists to call. I’ll try them on Monday morning. I think it would help if Joey had someone to talk to. I know it would help me.”
“You’re doing a good job,” she said, placing a comforting hand on his arm.
“Only you could say that at this point.” He laughed. “I’ve managed to muck up every part of my life once again. Maggie is done with me, and I can’t imagine how Marcus took my absence.”
Jana leaned one hip against the counter. “It would have helped if you’d let me talk to him about why you left.”
Griffin shook his head. “I couldn’t deal with people knowing when I wasn’t sure what exactly was going to happen with Joey.”
“Would you have stayed in Seattle if he’d put up a fight about coming here?”
“Of course. At least for a while. Hell, I almost wish he had resisted. Or showed any kind of emotion. It was like the sicker Cassie got, the more Joey retreated into his shell. I should have done more to bond with him, but I was so focused on her.”
“She was lucky to have you,” his mother told him.
“It’s so unfair,” he muttered. “She seemed happy and healthy when she came to visit in the fall. Maybe I’m not the right person to judge. Cassie and I were both a bit of a mess when we were together.”
“Which is perhaps why the relationship didn’t work?” She sipped her tea. “You never talked much about her.”
He shrugged. “We dated for six months when we were in our early twenties. To be honest, we were too much alike to be together in that way. I was drinking a lot and Cassie...” He closed his eyes as he remembered some of the wild times they’d had together. The memories were hazy and left him with a sick pit in his stomach. “Cassie had other vices. But she finally had her life on track, and she was a great mom.”
“He’s a sweet boy.”
Panic tightened like a noose around Griffin’s chest. “Am I going to screw him up, Mom? Should I have stayed in Seattle?”
“What do you think?” she asked softly.
“I don’t know.” He downed the glass of tea then set in on the counter, but the cool liquid did nothing to ease the burning in his chest. “Actually, I do know. He’ll be better here, or at least I will, and that has to be better for him.” He met his mother’s gentle gaze. “I don’t know how I could face this without you.”
“I’m here for whatever you need.”
Before Cassie’s summons, Griffin had been staying in the efficiency apartment above the barn on the property. He’d planned to rent a place in town so that he and Maggie could have more privacy. Now he was back in his childhood bedroom, with Joey across the hall in Trevor’s room. It had made the most sense logistically so that his mom could help with the boy.
“I want to be a part of Harvest,” he told her. “This is my home. The grapes are in my blood.”
“I know,” she murmured.
“But Joey has to be my first priority.”
“Yes,” his mother agreed without hesitation.
“What does that mean for the CEO position?”
She lifted the pitcher and refilled his glass. “Your dad managed the company and his family. Being a father doesn’t mean you can’t run the vineyard as well if that’s what you want.”
“A father,” Griffin repeated, a little stunned at the words.
“That’s what you’ll be to him. We’re his family now.”
Griffin nodded. Cassie had told him she didn’t know who Joey’s father was. She’d been an only child and her parents had died in a car crash when she was seventeen. She had no siblings and no relationship with any extended family.
“I need to talk to Trevor,” he said, almost to himself.
“He’s still angry at you for leaving.” Jana’s mouth pulled down at the corners. “At Marcus for wanting to wait for you to take over his job and at me for supporting him in that decision.”
“Maybe Trevor has a point.”
His mother shook her head. “He’ll understand once you explain about Joey. I’m surprised the news didn’t sway Maggie.”
Griffin looked out the kitchen window. It overlooked the backyard, which included a large flagstone patio, built-in grill, seating area and a stone fire pit. Beyond that was an expansive yard with ornamental grasses and beds of perennials. It was the only part of the property they kept properly manicured.
He’d have to build a play set for Joey, as the one he and Trevor had used had been removed years ago. Maybe a tree house too. He’d always wanted one in the big maple tree in the corner, but his father never had time.
“I didn’t mention it,” he said, turning his back to his mom.
“Griffin.” The word was a soft admonishment.
“I couldn’t guilt her into taking me back.”
“You hurt her badly.”
“I get that.” He felt a muscle tick in his jaw and pressed two fingers to it. “Maybe I didn’t understand while I was in Seattle, but I do now.”
“So you’re going to let her go?”
He squeezed shut his eyes then opened them again. “What other choice do I have?”
“You could fight for her.”
“What do I have to offer?” He lifted a hand, ticking off all the areas of his life that were in chaos. “I’m the guardian of a boy who just lost his only parent and will barely make eye contact with me. I have no actual job at the moment and I’m back to living with my mom.”
“Maggie moved in with her father when she rented her house before the wedding.”
