which I haven’t swum in this year.’
There was indeed a pool—and Kat blinked with disbelief when she first saw it. A vast infinity pool overlooking an enormous mountain range, the clear blue waters seeming to go on for ever.
After breakfast the following morning, he suggested she change into a swimsuit and meet him there. And although it was a sensible enough suggestion for such a sunny day it seemed a curiously intimate thing to say. Lazing by a swimming pool was the sort of thing which couples did and they were most definitely not a couple—a state of affairs which had been reinforced by the fact that they’d spent their first night at the hacienda sleeping in separate rooms.
Well, of course they had. Carlos wasn’t interested in her any more, was he? Not in that way.
Because he hadn’t touched her. Not once. Not a tight, comforting hug when she’d told him about the baby. Not a squeeze of her fingers during the flight over here, nor even a protective hand held at the small of her back as he guided her through the doors of his beloved hacienda for the first time.
Nothing.
And didn’t that send out the clearest message of all—that the sexual side of their relationship was over? That really, everything between them was over—other than the mechanics of working out how to manage their shared parenthood. She guessed that at some point they were going to have to sit down and discuss what the future was going to bring, but she knew without him having to tell her that it was not going to include coupledom.
Kat went to her room and changed into a bikini which seemed too skimpy for comfort—though, logically, she knew that her body had not yet begun to alter. Just that now it felt more vulnerable than it used to. More exposed. Just like she did. Pulling on a silken robe and carrying a book she had little enthusiasm for, she went downstairs to find Carlos was already by the pool.
He looked up as she approached, and frowned. ‘You need a hat.’
‘I haven’t brought one with me.’
‘Well, there are plenty around the place. Here. Have this.’
Fishing out a battered old panama from underneath one of the loungers, he tossed it to her, and she caught it.
‘Thanks.’ Her throat was dry as she slipped off her silken robe and lay down beside him. It was still early and the air was fresh and sweet. Unknown birds were making distant calls and she could smell the heavy fragrance of jasmine.
For a while she felt brittle, unsure of what to do or say to the man whose golden-olive body was so near—and yet which might as well have been on a distant planet for all the closeness which existed between them. There were a million things she felt she should ask him, but she was too weary to begin, and the sun sinking into her skin was so very distracting…and gradually it made her relax a little. She drank some cool water and picked up her book. Put it down again, and dozed.
Deep, accented words floated into her dreamless state and she looked up to find that Carlos was leaning over her, his black eyes gleaming with concern. ‘You’ll burn if you’re not careful,’ he said softly. ‘Want me to rub some cream on for you?’
‘I…’ What could she say? That she was afraid if he touched her she might not be able to control her emotions, or her body’s response to him? She would risk burning her skin because she was so vulnerable around him? How pathetic was that? Kat nodded, tongue flicking out over suddenly bone-dry lips. ‘If you don’t mind.’
Mind? Carlos’s mouth hardened. ‘Turn over.’ He squeezed lotion onto the firm flesh between her shoulder blades and then began to rub it in, expelling a slow rush of air as he felt the silken texture of her skin beneath his fingers. How long had it been since he had touched her like this? Pushing aside the straps of her bikini he began to massage her tight muscles, feeling some of the tension begin to melt beneath his questing fingers.
‘Carlos…’
‘Is that good, Princesa?’
Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, Kat couldn’t make up her mind whether she wanted to laugh or cry. ‘Well, yes…yes, it’s good.’ Of course it was good.
‘Then lie back and enjoy it.’
Was he mad? Didn’t he realise that, with his hands edging down to the wide band of flesh which lay above her bikini bottom, she just wanted to wriggle and squirm and pull him down against her rapidly warming body? Against her and into her. To feel his hard flesh united with hers once again. Kat swallowed. Now his fingers were kneading at the tops of her thighs—and this was really dangerous territory because what else would account for her almost strangled little gulp and the terrible sexual hunger which had begun to bubble up inside her?
‘Carlos!’ she said urgently.
‘What? What is it, Princesa?’
‘I…I…’
And suddenly Carlos couldn’t bear it for a second longer, knowing that he was about to fall into a snare of his own making. Knowing full well that he could seduce her in an instant, exactly where she was. He wouldn’t even have to meet the expression in her cold, hurt eyes. Could thrust into her from behind for a wordless and blissful coupling, knowing that they would both gasp out their relieved fulfilment and then it would be over. Their frustration forgotten and their bodies satisfied. And suddenly registering the certainty that it was no longer enough. Not nearly enough. Not any more.
Yes, it would be as easy as breathing to take her, but where would that leave them? Hadn’t he used the power of his sexual expertise to shield him from life for too long, seeking the heady power of sex as a substitute for emotion, time after time? And didn’t he owe this woman the truth, no matter how hard it was for him to admit it?
Turning her over, he stared down into her face—at the dark dilation of her blue eyes and the flare of colour which washed across her cheekbones—and felt a strange rush of something like pain in his heart. He had faced death and danger many times during his life, but he had never known such a feeling of trepidation. How was it possible to face the mighty wrath of a thirteen-hundred-pound animal in the bullring with a degree of steadfastness and resolve…and yet be rendered weak by the blaze in a woman’s beautiful blue eyes?
‘I’m sorry,’ he said simply.
Kat frowned. What was he saying—that he’d changed his mind about making love to her when it had obviously been on his mind only seconds ago? ‘Sorry?’ she echoed. ‘What for?’
He gave a bitter laugh. ‘How long have you got? For doubting you. For being a victim of my own prejudice. For not realising that the woman I saw on my boat was the real you, not the poor little rich girl I was determined to see. That once you’d peeled away the layers you’d used to protect yourself from the tough blows that life had dealt you, I caught a glimpse of the woman you really were. The real Kat. That beneath all the finery was something much more precious.’ For a moment his voice sounded shaken. ‘And that something was you.’
Kat stared at him, confusion tempered with the frantic clamour of her mind telling her not to raise her hopes. Not to let him hurt her. Not any more. ‘Are you saying all this because I’m having a baby?’ she whispered.
He shook his head. ‘I’m saying it because I mean it. Because I’ve been a fool, Kat. A stupid fool.’ Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to admit why. ‘Resenting you for the fact that,
