you’re right and it’s too soon.’
Emmie hadn’t said or meant that but she didn’t argue, reasoning that he would have tried harder to persuade her to go with him if her presence had really mattered to him. Thirty-six hours later those same thoughts came home to haunt her with a vengeance.
The morning after the Athens ball, Bastian had still to return to the island and Emmie was having a leisurely breakfast on the terrace overlooking the beach when the morning newspapers were brought out and settled on a nearby table for her convenience. Emmie got up to browse through the pile of papers, automatically flipping past the Greek editions only for her fingers to falter as she stiffened in consternation at the sight of a photograph adorning the front page of one of the local tabloids.
It was a photo of Bastian and Lilah drinking champagne and laughing together. Lilah looked tiny and ravishing in a romantic pink chiffon gown, like one half of a matched couple on intimate and friendly terms, while Bastian smiled down at her. The bitter hurt of jealousy pierced Emmie deep. In fact Emmie felt as sick as though she had been punched because she was already recalling that Bastian really hadn’t made that much effort to persuade her that he wanted her with him in Athens. And was this why? Had he known beforehand that Lilah would be attending the same event? And was it any wonder that the papers were probably speculating as to whether or not the formerly engaged couple had reconciled?
Feeling shaken, scared and angry with herself for being scared, Emmie sank back down on her chair, eyes blank as she stared out unseeingly at the beautiful view she had been admiring only minutes earlier. Was Bastian still attracted to Lilah? To be fair, what man wouldn’t be? And what could Emmie possibly do about it, if he was? Retreating with dignity when she was already virtually living with Bastian would be a challenge in the circumstances, she thought painfully.
EMMIE WAS CONVINCED that she could only blame herself for her predicament. Clearly, it was all her own fault, an argument her mother had been prone to making every time anything went wrong in Emmie’s life when she was a child.
Here she was, after all, decidedly the author of her own destruction: pregnant and having an affair with Bastian in a relationship that had neither rules nor safe boundaries. How sensible was that? Emmie had always liked to know where she stood, only she never had known that when it came to Bastian. That was why she was reluctant to trust him and even more reluctant to risk relying on him. And there would soon be no room for self-respect either if she was forced to start questioning him about Lilah.
The helicopter flew in low and fast and began to land. Emmie didn’t move a muscle. She did try to cross her legs casually beneath her white cotton sundress but her large tummy got in the way and she had to forget that pose. Bastian leapt from the helicopter into view, black hair ruffled by the breeze, lean powerful body taut as he strode across the lawn to join her, his striking black-fringed dark golden eyes seeking Emmie out where she sat in the shade. As always, he was gorgeous, she conceded helplessly. She had only to look at his tense bone structure to guess that he knew about the photograph and was in an understandably wary frame of mind.
‘You look so serene and beautiful sitting there, khriso mou,’ Bastian imparted huskily, his attention lingering to take in the rich golden gleam of her hair and the glow of her delicate English-rose complexion in contrast to her bright blue eyes.
‘Appearances can be deceptive,’ Emmie quipped.
‘I flew straight back when I saw that photo…I gather you’ve seen it?’ An ebony brow quirked enquiringly.
Emmie nodded, reluctantly impressed that he had jumped right into the issue without trying to avoid it or fake an innocence that she would never have believed.
‘Aside of the fact that Nessa was with me throughout the evening, the photo was a definite stitch-up,’ Bastian complained with a sardonic look. ‘Probably set up by Lilah and taken by one of her friends. Lilah revels in provoking press attention and speculation.’
Emmie parted stiff lips, her hands clasped together tightly below the level of the table. ‘You do look happy to be with her,’ she remarked flatly.
‘After the way Lilah behaved when we broke up I no longer even like her,’ Bastian countered drily. ‘But I have too much respect for her family to cut her dead in public and I see no reason to embarrass myself or her by parading our differences. If I’m happy now it’s because I have you in my life.’
‘I’d never have guessed I mattered that much to you,’ Emmie confided uncomfortably, sitting very still and unconvinced, her shoulders as rigid as her spine.
A rueful smile briefly curled Bastian’s wide sensual mouth. ‘I’m so terrified of losing you again you wouldn’t believe it.’
Emmie blinked. ‘I don’t believe it…you, terrified?’
‘Totally,’ Bastian confirmed, staring down at her from his considerable height with steady, dark, serious eyes. ‘When you went missing while I was still abroad I went crazy. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think of anything but you. And when I did get back to London I couldn’t believe that stupid note you left was all you had to say to me.’
‘I didn’t think I had anything to say to you that you had enough interest to want to hear,’ Emmie admitted uneasily. ‘I wasn’t going to hang myself out on a limb for you after you said that all we had going for us was sex.’
‘I didn’t mean that…I very much regret saying that,’ Bastian emphasised on the back of a groan. ‘But to be frank, I didn’t really appreciate what you meant to me until you vanished.’
‘Oh?’ Emmie was glued to every word falling from his lips, scarcely breathing while she listened.
Bastian leant back against one of the supporting stone pillars that held up the roof over the terrace, his gaze veiled, his lean muscular length taut with tension. ‘Then I didn’t feel anything like I should have felt for Lilah. I know that now. I shouldn’t have even considered marrying her when I felt nothing for her, but for a long time I honestly thought that that was the best way to be in a relationship.’
‘If you’re an inanimate object and not a person,’ Emmie suggested wryly.
‘I thought if there was no emotion involved I would see more clearly and choose a wife more wisely,’ Bastian confessed and then frowned, black brows lacing together. ‘And we know how well that turned out! Lilah may have wanted me mainly for my status and wealth but even she deserved better than a fiancé who couldn’t have cared less when she broke the engagement and took up with another man.’
‘But she must have known that it was more a…er practical marriage than a meeting of souls,’ Emmie commented tightly, thinking what a hypocrite she could be, for she had been wonderfully reassured by Bastian’s assurance that he didn’t even like Lilah any more and it was obvious that he could no longer see what virtues he had once assumed the other woman possessed.
‘I was never really happy with her…I didn’t stop noticing other women either,’ Bastian admitted reluctantly. ‘I didn’t do anything about it, I was faithful while I was still with her but I imagine that I would have strayed eventually.’
‘Then you weren’t right for each other.’ Emmie sighed. ‘What would have been the point of getting
