She started yanking clothes from their hangers, not bothering to fold anything.
Then she stopped, her fingers coming into contact with some of the more delicate fabrics. Some of the more beautiful designs.
Were these clothes even hers?
Should she even take them?
Confused, she walked into the bathroom and emptied the area around the sink with one sweep of her hand into her toiletries bag.
There was a movement to the side of her eye. She sighed. Alex. She needed some space.
Except it wasn’t Alex. It was Annabelle, her eyes wide as she looked at the disarray in the room.
Ruby was shocked. She dropped to her knees and put her hands on Annabelle’s shoulders. The little girl’s bottom lip was trembling.
‘Oh, honey,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. But I need to go away for a little while. I need to leave.’
Annabelle shook her head. Her mouth opened and she scowled fiercely.
‘No.’
It was one word. It was a tiny word—fuelled by emotion. But it was the biggest step in the world.
She flung her arms around the little girl. She hadn’t thought it was possible for her heart to break any more. But she hadn’t counted on this.
She cradled the blonde curls in her fingers and whispered in Annabelle’s ear. ‘I love you, honey. And I’m so proud of you for saying that word. You are such a clever little girl.’ She pulled back and held Annabelle’s face in her hands. ‘That’s the best word I’ve ever heard.’
‘No.’
Annabelle said it again, and pointed to the case. There was another movement to the side. This time it was Alex. His face was pale.
‘Ruby?’
She nodded. ‘Yes. She spoke to me.’
She kissed Annabelle on the forehead, then lifted her and handed her to Alex as she continued to pack her case.
Alex was the parent here—not her. It was his job to be by his daughter’s side. She doubted she could ever fulfil her professional role again. Loving both Alex and Annabelle had wrecked her perspective. Becoming emotionally attached would make leaving harder for them all. She had to draw a line in the sand.
Alex’s face was racked with confusion. ‘And you’re still going to go?’
She nodded. She had to.
Everything was too much right now. She didn’t just love Alex. She loved his little girl too. If she didn’t leave now she didn’t know how her heart could ever recover.
She jammed the last thing into the case and closed it. Picking it up, she turned to face him.
He was clutching his daughter and shaking his head. ‘How can you? How can you go now?’
‘Because I have to. Because this is the right thing to do.’ She stepped up close to him. ‘Because if I stay this will only get worse. You think I didn’t see the panic on your advisors’ faces? You think I don’t know that every single action you take could affect the people in this country—your trade agreements, your business? I’m not so stupid as to want to destroy the country that you’ve built. I’m not that stupid and I’m not that selfish.’
‘But what about us?’ He glanced down towards Annabelle, who had cuddled into his chest. ‘How can you leave us now?’ He was getting angry. He was getting frustrated. ‘Don’t you have a heart?’
She flinched. But it was exactly what she’d needed to hear. It made it so much easier.
‘I left my heart in Paris ten years ago, Alex. You should know.’
And she held up her head and walked out of the room before her shaking legs could stop her.
IT WAS STRANGE, spending Christmas in France. The weather was unseasonably warm. Ruby was used to Christmases in England, with freezing temperatures and snow.
Her mother appeared at the door. She had a pale cream envelope in her hand. ‘This came for you. I had to sign for it.’ She turned it over and over in her hands.
Ruby sighed. ‘Is it from Alex?’
She stared at her desk. It was already littered with A4 envelopes—some from Alex, and some from his advisors. All full of details on how to deal with ‘the situation’. Pages and pages of plans for dealing with the press.
A plan for how often she could be seen. A plan for how much time they could spend together. A plan for when Alex could eventually put an arm around her. Followed by detailed protocols and information on the history of Euronia and Leruna. It was like studying for a university degree all over again. But this wasn’t a qualification. This was a plan for a life. Her life.
And she just didn’t know if she was strong enough.
In amongst the plans were little handwritten cards from Alex. He’d sent one every day, his pleading words increasing in intensity with each card.
‘You’ll have to speak to him sooner or later,’ her mother said. ‘He phones three times a day. I’m beginning to feel like he’s part of the family already.’
The words twisted inside her. ‘I can’t speak to him, Mum, you know that. I need some time.’
Her mother sighed and sat down next to her. ‘Why do you need time away from the man and the little girl that you obviously love?’
Ruby was shocked. She’d never used those words to her mother. She hadn’t said those words out loud to anyone.
‘What? You think I didn’t know?’ Her mother waved her hand. ‘It’s been written all over your face from the second you got here. I’ve never seen you so miserable. It was a few lousy newspaper articles. You know what your dad says—today’s news, tomorrow’s chip paper.’ She gave a half-shrug. ‘You only made two lines today in the British press.’
Ruby gave a half-smile. Her father had been surprisingly good-natured.
She stared at the letter. ‘I don’t think I can read anything else from Alex.’
Her mother shook her head. ‘It’s not from Alex. It’s from Leruna. Who would be writing to you from there?’
Her skin prickled. She couldn’t have—could she?
She took the heavy envelope in her hand and opened it, sliding the paper out. There was no doubt. The royal mark was in the top corner. Queen Isabelle.
She blinked. ‘Give me a minute, Mum, will you please?’
Her mother nodded and disappeared out through the door. Ruby unfolded the letter on her desk. No typing. This letter was full of beautifully crafted handwriting.
