difficulty ignoring the fact that she’d not only enjoyed his kisses, she wanted more. More kisses. More of everything a man like Ryan had to offer.
He would be a good lover; she could see that by his kisses. Wildly passionate, but tender and gentle as well. Brad had been an ignorant and selfish lover, uncaring of her pleasure. Mario hadn’t been all that much better. Neither of them had ever kissed her the way Ryan had just kissed her, like he was a man dying of thirst in the desert and she was a sweet spring which would bring him back to life. At the same time, she had responded in a way she never had before—boldly. Brazenly. Blindly.
Laura knew that if they shared a bed tonight and he tried to seduce her she would be his for the taking. In every way.
This last thought truly shocked Laura. He already had a girlfriend, hadn’t he?
But it didn’t change a thing. This was why lust was one of the seven deadly sins, she realised—one of the strongest. One which called to the dark side which lurked in every person, which banished conscience in the selfish search for carnal pleasures.
Now, as she looked over at him, she started stripping him in her mind, seeing him naked and looming over her in bed tonight. He would be big down there, she fantasised. Big, powerful and forceful. She would cry out when he entered her, and moan when he began to move. Already she could feel him there, inside her, filling her totally, taking her to places that she’d never been before.
Laura had never had an orgasm during actual intercourse before. But she would with Ryan; she just knew she would.
Such thinking took her breath away. What was happening to her here?
Thank God she didn’t love him. Because, if she did, she would have been doomed.
Suddenly, she realised that her grandmother was talking to her.
‘What was that, Gran?’ she said as she lifted the tea cup to her lips and drained the rest of the stone-cold tea.
‘I suggested you take Ryan for a walk around the property before it gets too late. It’s lovely down by the creek at sunset and there should be a good one today.’
‘All right,’ Laura agreed. How could she possibly do anything else?
‘Come and see me when you return,’ her gran continued. ‘I’d like to talk to you. Alone, if you don’t mind, Ryan.’
‘Not at all.’
‘Bill will be home soon,’ Cynthia said. ‘He plays golf on the course next door every Saturday afternoon but he promised to come straight home after the game. Should be here by four-thirty—five at the latest, he said. You and he could have a game of billiards before dinner, Ryan. That is, if you play billiards?’
‘I certainly do.’
Jane chuckled. ‘I dare say you’re good at it too.’
Ryan smiled. ‘I’m good at most sports and games.’
Was sex a sport to him? Laura wondered ruefully. Or a game?
‘Come on then, darling,’ he went on as he stood up. ‘Let’s get going before the sun goes down.’
Suddenly, Laura didn’t want to be alone with him. Certainly not down at the creek which was a very private spot, totally out of sight of everyone. She had little option, however, but to stand up and do exactly what had been suggested. To refuse would have seemed odd.
He took her hand, as she knew he would, and she didn’t object, as she knew she wouldn’t. No doubt they looked like lovers, strolling down the hill together, hand in hand. But love had nothing to do with the feelings which were zooming through Laura. She tried to say something, anything at all. But she remained silent. Ryan didn’t say anything, either. When they reached the shelter of the trees which lined the creek, he let go of her hand and turned to face her.
‘Tell me what you’re thinking.’
She dragged in a deep breath which she exhaled slowly as she assembled her thoughts. No way could she tell him what she was really thinking. But she had to make some comment to excuse the way she’d responded to his kisses.
‘I’m thinking you were right about my being too long between men. And kisses.’
He frowned. ‘So you’re saying that that’s why you enjoyed my kissing you as much as you obviously did? Because you’re sexually frustrated?’
She kept her eyes cool. ‘It seems a logical explanation, don’t you think?’
‘True. But I can hardly make the same claim. I certainly haven’t been five years without a woman. But I sure as hell enjoyed kissing you, Laura. Maybe Erica was right after all. And so were you.’
‘About what?’
‘You said I didn’t know women as much as I thought I did. Erica actually went off her brain when I told her what I was doing this weekend. Accused me of fancying you.’
‘Really?’
‘Yep. I got so mad at her that I broke up with her on the spot.’
‘You did?’ Lord, but she shouldn’t have been quite so happy about that. But she was. Oh yes, she definitely was. How stupid could she get?
‘Sure did,’ he confirmed. ‘I didn’t want to say so earlier on because I thought it might cause you some worry. But she was right, wasn’t she? I do fancy you.’
‘Really?’ Now she was even happier! Until she remembered that Ryan fancying a woman meant next to nothing. He’d obviously fancied Erica and look what happened to her.
‘Yes, really. But my fancying you is not a good idea, Laura.’
‘Why?’ Oh Laura, Laura, did you have to sound so disappointed when you said that?
His eyes showed that she’d betrayed herself to a degree.
‘You are a work colleague and I do not date work colleagues,’ he stated.
‘I see,’ she said, not quite so happy now.
‘You wouldn’t want to date a man like me anyway,’ he ground out. ‘I’m not what you want. Or what you need.’
Laura shook her head from side to side. ‘I’m not sure what I want or need any more.’
‘Then let me remind you: you want a man who’ll love you, marry you and give you children. That man will never be me, Laura. Because that’s not what I want.’
Laura frowned at this last statement. What had happened to Ryan in the past that he never dared to risk getting emotionally involved with anyone? Something must have happened, because it wasn’t natural to shun love. Everyone wanted to love and be loved.
‘And why is that?’ she couldn’t resist asking. ‘What have you got against love and marriage and children?’
‘Absolutely nothing,’ he bit out. ‘It’s just not for me. Look, it’s as well that we’ve had this little talk. I would
