A week or two should be long enough to burn out a good degree of the lust that was still plaguing her, she decided. Long enough too to satisfy her curiosity over all those wildly erotic things Ryan claimed he could show her.
‘It would be the best solution all round,’ she said, feeling strangely exhilarated at having taken control of her destiny. ‘You’re a great lover, Ryan. Possibly the best I’ll ever have in my lifetime. Which is why I want to sample some more of your incredible talent in the bedroom.
‘But we both know you won’t ever give me what I really want—which is a husband and a family. Added to that is the fact that I’m not getting any younger. Frankly, becoming your girlfriend, even for a few months, is a waste of my valuable time.
‘The truth is I just want to have some more sex with you, but not for too long. A couple of weeks should do the trick. I appreciate my somewhat radical proposal might be a blow to your ego, but think of the plus side—you won’t have to take me out anywhere or buy me expensive dinners. You won’t have to meet my friends. All you have to do is—’
‘Don’t you dare use that word!’ Ryan broke in savagely.
Laura found his outrage extremely hypocritical, something which he said he despised. ‘I was only going to say shag,’ she invented. She’d actually been going to say ‘make love to me’ in a momentary lack of concentration.
‘I hate that word too.’
‘Lord, but aren’t we the sensitive one all of a sudden? And this from a man who had no qualms pointing out to me that all he was good for was sex. What would you prefer to call it then? Bonk? Screw?’
‘I would prefer that you agreed to become my girlfriend for real!’ he snapped.
Laura’s back teeth clenched together hard in her jaw, as the temptation to say yes was almost overwhelming.
‘Sorry,’ she bit out. ‘No can do.’
‘Sorry?’ he retorted, throwing her a savage glance. ‘I don’t think you’re sorry at all.’
‘And I think you should keep your eyes on the road,’ she said when the car drifted once again.
He swore, using the four-letter word he hadn’t wanted her to say. He didn’t apologise, however. Instead, he fell silent and sped up, the car eating up the miles as only a powerful sports car could. Laura fell stubbornly silent too, determined not to weaken in her resolve to retain control of her life and this affair. They’d crossed the Hawkesbury River Bridge and were drawing near the outer suburbs of Sydney before Ryan spoke again.
‘Right,’ he said abruptly. ‘Now that I’ve calmed down, this is the way I see the situation. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that all I want from you is sex. I like you, Laura. Like your company and your conversation. I would enjoy taking you places and buying you expensive dinners. I would especially enjoy seeing you throw off that ridiculously tough façade you’ve been hiding behind and become the warm, beautiful, sexy, sophisticated woman which I know you could be.
‘As for my wasting your valuable time, I don’t believe any time you spend with me would be a waste. Life should not always be lived for the future, but sometimes for the here and now.’
He paused for a long moment, perhaps waiting for his quite seductive argument to work its magic on her. But Laura wasn’t at all convinced. She did not believe in that live-for-the-mo-ment rubbish. Unless fate stepped in with an unfortunately terminal accident or disease, the future inevitably arrived, during which you had to live with what you’d done in the past. It was all right for him; he didn’t fall in love. But she did! And she wasn’t going to. Not this time!
‘I see,’ he said with a rueful glance at her unmoved face. ‘Obviously what I believe is irrelevant. Look, I’m not in the business of trying to change a woman’s mind. But neither am I going to agree to such a ridiculous scheme. At the same time, I still want you, Laura—with a rather irrational desire, I am discovering. So I will stay with you tonight and endeavour to give you lots of the only thing you want from me. But, come tomorrow morning, that will be that. Our ways will part, never to be crossed again. That’s my counter proposal. If you don’t agree, then I’m afraid it will be quits today at your door.’
Laura sucked in sharply, her emotions in immediate disarray. So much for her façade of cool control!
Fury that he’d accused her of callously using him mingled with panic at the possibility that she would never be with him again. Which would be the case if she didn’t agree to his ‘counter proposal’. But how could she agree now? He’d already made her sound like some sex-crazed fool who’d thrown away any chance of a real relationship in exchange for a fortnight’s sex. To agree to just one night of the same seemed so much worse.
She wasn’t that desperate, was she?
‘I’m sorry you think so badly of me,’ she said, her voice sounding calm despite a trembling starting deep inside. ‘I was just trying to be honest with you with my proposal, and not hypocritical. I don’t think you can blame me for suggesting a sex-only affair when you yourself said you couldn’t offer me any form of commitment. But I can see now that such an arrangement won’t work for me, even for one more night. It is far better that we call it quits today, then you can move on the way you say you always do, and so will I. Hopefully, the next time I find a man I fancy, he’ll want more than a temporary relationship.’
Ryan clenched his teeth down hard in his jaw as he listened to her quite stunning rejection of his proposal. And there he’d been, thinking she would not dare knock him back, not when she’d virtually admitted she was mad for him. He’d imagined that he’d backed her into a corner where he’d be the one in control and she would come begging for more. Which was what he wanted—more of Laura, naked and willing, in his arms. But on his terms, not hers. A man did have his pride.
Unfortunately, pride did have its downside. He was the one backed into a corner now. And there’d be no begging from his corner.
‘Fine,’ he bit out. ‘We’ll call it quits today.’
It was like a physical blow to Laura. She struggled not to cry out, then not to cry. Oh God, what had she done? Suddenly even one night with him was better than this … this emptiness.
‘I will leave it up to you to arrange for another lawyer to be sent to me every Friday afternoon,’ he went on, his voice sounding bitter. ‘I don’t care what excuse you give.’
‘All right,’ she said, her own voice sounding bleak.
‘Now, if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk any more.’ And he turned on the radio, at the same time pressing whatever button it took for the roof automatically to go back into place.
Laura’s heart sank. The roof closing was like a sign that everything was over. They were over.
She turned her face away towards the passenger window so Ryan couldn’t see the tears filling her eyes.
IT STARTED to rain not long after they left the motorway, a grey drizzle which reflected the condition of Laura’s emotions. She ached to say something to take away the horribly strained
