‘No, I really don’t want to talk about him. But he was definitely my biggest mistake. And he was my last mistake, too. So if you’re worrying that I’m going to be flighty and disappear off with the first man who bats his eyelashes at me, leaving you to look after Tyler on your own, then don’t. Because I’m not. I’ve given up looking for Mr Right. I know he isn’t out there. My focus now is being there for Tyler while he grows up.’
‘So you’re not looking for a husband or a family, or what have you?’
‘No. But I have Tyler. That’s enough for me.’
Before they’d become co-guardians, the Emmy Jacobs Dylan knew was flighty as well as spiky. He’d disliked her because she’d reminded him so much of his mother. Selfish, always apologising for being late but never seeming sincere.
Now, he was seeing a different side of her. The way she looked after Tyler and put the baby’s needs first: she was definitely responsible. She was kind; without being intrusive, she’d worked out what he liked to eat and the fact that he loathed lentils, and changed her meal plans to suit. She was thoughtful. And she was fiercely independent; from what she’d just told him about her childhood, he could understand exactly why she wouldn’t want to rely on someone. She’d seen her mother’s heart broken and had learned from that.
And he didn’t want Spiky Emmy back. He liked the woman he’d got to know. More than liked her, if he was honest with himself. ‘I’m not worried at all,’ he said lightly. ‘You didn’t need to tell me that. I already know you’re not flighty.’
‘Oh.’ She looked slightly deflated, as if she’d been gearing up to have a fight with him and now she didn’t have to. ‘So what about you? Are you looking for Ms Right?’
‘No, I made enough of a mess of my marriage.’ And then he surprised himself by adding, ‘And it was my fault.’
‘How? You didn’t have an affair.’
‘Neither did Nadine.’
‘So what went wrong?’ She put a hand to her mouth. ‘Sorry. I know I shouldn’t ask you personal stuff.’
Absolutely. He didn’t want to talk about his feelings or his past. But he surprised himself even more by saying, ‘Given our situation, you probably ought to know. And I know you’re not going to gossip about me.’
‘Of course I’m not.’
‘Nadine and I—we wanted the same things, at first. A satisfying career, knowing we could reach the top of our respective trees. Neither of us wanted kids. Except then she changed her mind.’
‘And you didn’t?’
He shook his head. ‘She gave me an ultimatum: baby or divorce. So I picked the latter.’
She blew out a breath. ‘And now you’re in exactly that situation with Tyler—a stand-in dad. Though obviously you and I—we’re not...’
Her voice faded, and he wondered if she was thinking about that kiss. He most definitely was. He forced himself to focus. ‘Yeah.’ But his voice sounded slightly rusty to his ears. He hoped she wouldn’t guess why.
‘So does that mean...I mean, the three months are up in a couple of weeks. And you don’t want to...?’ She looked worried.
‘I’m glad you brought that up,’ he said. ‘It’s working for me. I think we’re a good team. I know we’re never going to be as good as Pete and Ally, and I for one still have a lot to learn about babies, but Tyler seems happy with us.’
‘Are you happy?’ she asked.
‘Yes. And I feel a bit guilty about it. I said I didn’t want to be a parent. But, actually, I’m enjoying it,’ he confessed. It was a relief to admit it out loud, at last. ‘I like coming home to a baby. I like seeing him change. I like hearing him babble and I like seeing his face when he tries something new.’
‘Me, too,’ she said softly.
‘So we keep going?’ he asked.
‘What about your ex?’
He grimaced. ‘As I said, I feel guilty. Maybe it could’ve worked, if I hadn’t been so stubborn. Or maybe it wouldn’t. I don’t know.’
‘Why didn’t you want a child?’ she asked.
He blew out a breath. ‘I just don’t. Didn’t.’
‘You mean, back off because you don’t want to talk about it?’ she asked wryly.
He was slightly surprised that she’d read him so well. ‘Yes. Tonight’s meant to be about toasting your success, not dragging through my failures. So, yes, I’d rather change the subject. I’m not the kind of guy who talks about my feelings and wallows in things,’ Dylan said. ‘I just get things done. With the social skills of a rhino.’
She gave him a rueful smile. ‘You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?’
‘No. Because, actually, it’s true,’ he said. ‘Anyway. The main thing is that we both know where we stand—we’re both single, and we’re both planning to stay that way. And we can just get on with looking after Tyler.’
‘Yeah.’ She raised her glass again. ‘To Tyler. I wish things could’ve been different—but I think we’re managing to be the next best option for him. Even if we do have to rely on looking things up in a book or asking my mum, half the time.’
‘Absolutely.’ He clinked his glass against hers. ‘To Tyler, and to being the best stand-in parents he could ever have.’
* * *
Somehow the awkwardness between them had vanished, and Emmy was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Dylan. And to discover that they had shared loves in music and places they wanted to visit.
She was beginning to see why Pete and Ally had made that decision, now. She and Dylan had their differences, which would be good for Tyler; but they also had much more overlap than either of them had ever imagined. She actually liked his company.
And she was shocked by how late it was when she finally glanced at her watch. ‘We’d better call a taxi. And I’d better ring Mum and let her know we’re on our way back.’
‘You ring your mum, and I’ll call the cab,’ Dylan said.
In the taxi, their hands kept brushing against each other, and it felt as if little electric shocks were running through her veins. Which was crazy. Dylan was the last man she could afford to be attracted to. This shouldn’t be happening.
But what if it did?
What if Dylan held her hand?
And then she stopped breathing for a second when his fingers curled round hers. Was he thinking the same as she was?
She met his gaze, and the remaining breath whooshed out of her lungs.
Yes. He was.
She wasn’t sure which of them moved first, but then his hand was
