Colton said. “That’s rough.”
She sighed. “I hate to leave Toby hanging. Would you mind watching her for a little while so I could help him out?”
Colton froze. The idea of taking care of a baby terrified him. He could do a lot of things, but he had no experience with babies. But he couldn’t leave Stacey in such a bind, could he? Well, darn. He inhaled. “Okay, I’ll do it, but you need to give me lots of instructions. This isn’t like roping a calf.”
“She’ll be easy. I promise. I’ll write down lots of instructions and put them in the diaper bag,” Stacey said. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”
“Yeah,” Colton said, and headed back to his car. It occurred to him that he would rather get stomped by a bull than take care of a baby.
He drove his truck the short distance to the Joneses’ ranch and pulled in front of the house. His family had celebrated with the Jones family many times. Their home was as familiar to him as his own.
But a baby wasn’t familiar to him at all.
Colton ground his teeth, then forced himself to present a better attitude. He could handle this. He’d handled far more difficult situations. Piper was just a six-month-old baby. How hard could it be, he asked himself, but he was sweating despite the freezing temperature outside.
He stomped up the porch steps and lifted his hand to knock on the door, but it swung open before his knuckles hit wood. Stacey looked up at him with a hopeful expression on her face as she held her baby on her hip. “She should go to sleep soon,” Stacey said. “She’s just a little worked up tonight.”
“Worked up,” he repeated, feeling more uneasy.
Stacey fluttered her hands. “Oh, it won’t last long,” she said. “She’ll get tired. Let me grab my coat, and I’ll be back before you know it.”
She thrust Piper into his hands. He stared at the baby, and she stared back at him. Mistrust brewed from his side, and he saw the same mistrust in the baby’s eyes. “What am I supposed to do with her?” he asked.
“Rock her, walk her. Feed her only if you’re desperate because she’s already been fed.” Stacey buttoned a peacoat and handed him a diaper bag. “This is my complete bag of tricks,” she said. “This will be a breeze. You’re going to surprise yourself. Trust me. Thank you so much,” she said, and rushed out the door.
Colton resisted the urge to renege. Barely. After Stacey was gone, he looked at Piper. She let out a little wail. Colton dived into the diaper bag, skipped everything and went straight for the bottle.
Piper sucked it down, then stared at him and gave a loud, powerful burp.
“Whoa,” Colton said, backing away from the sound. “How’d you do that?”
Piper squirmed and fussed.
Colton bobbed up and down. “Hey. Your tummy’s full. You should be better.”
Piper whined in response.
Colton grimaced. He had been hoping food would be the quick fix. It usually was for him. He patted her back and continued to walk. Piper whined and occasionally wailed. Colton had no idea how to please the baby.
Oh, wait. Maybe she had a messy diaper.
Eewww, he thought. He didn’t want to change a diaper. That was just too gross. But maybe that would turn the trick and the baby would stop fussing.
Groaning to himself, Colton went to the magic diaper bag and pulled out a diaper, a packet of wipes and a changing pad. “Okay. Okay,” he said to Piper as he set her down on the pad. “Give me a break. This is my first time.”
Piper stuck her fingers in her mouth and gazed up at him with inquisitive green eyes.
At least she wasn’t crying, he thought and lifted her gown. “Okey, doke. We can do this,” he said because some part of him remembered that he’d seen a few people talk to babies. It wasn’t as if they understood. Maybe they just liked the sound of a human voice.
Who knew?
He looked at the diaper, and for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out which was the front and the back.
Piper began to squirm and make noises. They weren’t fussy, but they were getting close.
“I’m getting there,” he promised. “Just give me a little extra time.”
He pulled open the dry diaper, then carefully unfastened the baby’s dirty diaper. Colton glimpsed a hideous combination of green, yellow and brown.
“Oh, Piper. How could you?”
The baby squirmed and almost seemed to smile.
Heaven help him.
Colton pulled out a half dozen wipes and began rubbing her front and backside. Six wipes weren’t enough, so he pulled out some more and cleaned her a little more. Afterward, he tossed some baby powder on her and put on the disposable diaper.
Sweat was dripping from his forehead. “There. We did it.”
Piper began to fuss.
“Well, thanks for nothing,” he said, picking up her and the dirty diaper. He wondered if there was a special hazardous-waste disposal container in the house for the baby’s diapers. He didn’t see one, so he tossed it in the kitchen trash and felt sorry for the poor fool who lifted the lid to take out the garbage.
He jiggled Piper, but she was still fussy. He wondered if he shouldn’t have fed her. He cruised the hallways of the house. Piper never broke into a full cry, but he could tell she was right on the edge.
Desperate, he tried to sing. “Mamas, don’t let your babies—”
Piper wailed.
“Not a good choice,” he muttered and jiggled her even more. He walked and talked, since talking worked better than singing did. She calmed slightly, but he could tell she still wasn’t happy. This female was definitely difficult to please.
After thirty minutes, she was still fussy and Colton was growing desperate. He headed for the magic diaper bag and sat down to dig through it. Piper sobbed loudly in his ear as he searched the bag.
“Give me a break,” he said. “I’m trying.” He dug his way all the way to the bottom and grabbed hold of a bottle. Pulling it out, he stared at a bottle labeled, “Last resort”.
Colton was pretty sure he was at his last resort. He opened the bottle and found a wand. “Well, damn,” he said, and began to blow bubbles.
Piper immediately quieted and stared at the bubbles.
Colton continued to blow, and Piper began to laugh. It was the most magical sound he’d ever heard. He blew the bubbles, and she giggled. Her reaction was addictive.
“Well, who would have known?” he muttered under his breath. Maybe everyone should come armed with a bottle of bubbles. He blew bubbles past the time he was tired from it, and
