was she felt safer when Dan was around. Even though he told her she was doing a great job she wasn’t sure she wanted to do it alone.
One of the little cardigans was hanging on the side of the crib and the solution was with her in an instant. Of course! That was what she would do. She would take Abraham upstairs to visit Mrs Van Dyke—at least then she wouldn’t be on her own. And even though Mrs Van Dyke was elderly she had lots of experience with babies. She might even be able to give Carrie some tips.
She looked over to the sofa. Dan was already taking the bottle out of Abraham’s mouth. He was feeding really quickly. A thought crossed her mind. ‘Is your internet working yet?’
Dan shrugged his shoulders. He was deep in concentration. ‘Haven’t checked yet. Why?’
‘Do you think there’s any way we could weigh Abraham? Maybe we aren’t giving him enough milk. He always seems to gulp really quickly then gets lots of wind.’
The news anchor was telling the same story over and over again. Wasn’t she wearing that same suit jacket a few days ago? Pictures filled the screen of stranded cars, a collapsed tree in Central Park, aerial shots of all the roads completely covered in snow. More pictures of people being rescued by police and, in some cases, helicopters. It looked as if there had been barely any improvements in the past two days. Her voice was starting to annoy Carrie.
‘Snow ploughs cleared most of New York State Thruway the I-87 this morning, only for the hard work to be destroyed less than three hours later after another record deluge of snow. Some people had been waiting two days to get their cars out of the snowdrifts, only to get snowed back in a few miles down the thruway. Emergency services can’t give an estimate on how much longer it will take to clear the thruway again. They are stressing that people in the area should only travel in emergency cases. Every resource possible is currently being used to try and restore the fluctuating power supplies to the city. Some areas of the city have been without power for more than twenty-four hours. Authorities assure us that all power supplies should be connected in the next twelve hours.’
Dan pointed at the screen. ‘That’s the bad news. Now wait for it—here comes the good news story.’
Carrie turned back to the screen. She definitely had seen that jacket before. Wardrobe at the news station must be as closed down as the rest of New York.
‘And finally, community kitchens are springing up all over New York City. The latest is in Manhattan’s Lower East Side at Sara D. Roosevelt Park and the locals have been enjoying the opportunity to gather somewhere with some hot food and heating.’ The camera shot to children building a giant snowman in the park and several residents holding cups with something steaming hot inside.
‘Wow, that snowman is enormous. There’s no way a kid made that. They couldn’t reach that high.’
‘Do I sense a little snowman envy?’ Dan had an amused expression on his face.
Carrie shrugged. ‘Maybe. Can’t even tell you the last time I made a snowman. I must have been around ten. Back home in London I don’t even have a garden.’
Dan headed over to the back window, juggling Abraham in his arms. It was time for winding again. ‘Most of the apartments around here don’t have gardens. But there are gardens. Have you managed to get to Washington Square Park yet?’
She joined him at the window, looking out over the snow-covered back alley. ‘If I even thought we’d have a chance of making it there I’d ask you to take me.’ She reached over and touched Abraham’s little hand. ‘But we pretty much can’t take this little guy anywhere with no proper clothes, jacket or snowsuit. I guess that means we’re stranded.’
It was the wrong thing to say. Almost as soon as she said the words she wanted to pull them back. She could instantly see Dan’s back and shoulders stiffen, the atmosphere changing around them in a second.
‘I guess the actions of others impact on us all.’
She was still touching Abraham’s hand, letting his little fingers connect with hers. ‘We don’t know, Dan. We don’t know anything.’
He spun around to face her. ‘Of course we do. Look at him. Look at this defenceless little baby. Left out in the cold with hardly any clothes. He could have died out there, Carrie. He could have died.’
‘Don’t. Don’t say that. I don’t even want to think about that. I can’t think about that.’
She stared him down. He had to know how much his words impacted on her. How she couldn’t even bear to think the thoughts he was putting in her head.
‘Why are you so critical, Dan? You must see a whole host of things in your line of work. I thought that would make you more sympathetic to people out there. Not sit as judge and master.’
‘I don’t judge.’ His words were snapped and Abraham flinched at the rise in his voice.
‘Well, I think you do. I think that’s what you’ve done since the second I found Abraham and brought him to you.’
He opened his mouth, obviously ready to hit her with a torrent of abuse. But good sense waylaid him. She could almost see him biting his tongue and it annoyed her. She didn’t want Dan to hide things from her. He should tell her how he really felt. It didn’t matter that they would disagree.
‘Spit it out, Dan.’
‘I don’t think that’s wise.’ His words were growled through clenched teeth.
She walked right up to him, her face directly under his chin. He was angry. She could tell he was angry. But she wasn’t intimidated at all. Dan would never direct his anger at her.
‘So, you can kiss me to death, but you can’t tell me how you feel?’
Dan walked over to the crib, placed Abraham down and raked his hand through his short hair, his hand coming around and scraping at the bristles on his chin. ‘Just leave it, Carrie.’
‘Why? Isn’t it normal to disagree about things? I just can’t understand why the guy who was prepared to risk his life for a bunch of strangers can’t take a minute to show a little compassion to a woman who is clearly desperate.’ She pointed over at the crib. ‘No woman in her right mind would abandon her baby. Not without good reason. I bet she’s lying crying and terrified right now. I bet the past two nights she hasn’t slept a wink with worry over how her son is doing.’
He shook his head. ‘You’re wrong, Carrie. You’re more than wrong. Good people don’t do things like this. Good people don’t abandon their babies or make them suffer. Everyone who has the responsibility for children should put their needs first—before their own.’
She wrinkled her brow. ‘What are you getting at, Dan? What need do you think Abraham’s mother was putting first?’
He couldn’t meet her eyes. He couldn’t look at her. His eyes were fixed either on the floor or the ceiling. He walked towards the window, staring out at the snow-covered street, his hands on his hips. ‘Drugs, Carrie. I think his mother was looking for her next fix.’
Carrie’s hand flew up to her mouth. It hadn’t even occurred to her. It hadn’t even crossed her mind.
Maybe she was too innocent. Maybe she’d lived a sheltered life.
‘No.’
