when I ran up to the apartment.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
The tension between them was impossible to ignore. Big emotions were at stake, but Nathaniel wouldn’t talk about them, and Dani couldn’t. The result was an uneasy truce.
Peaches woke up after an hour. The atmosphere in the hotel room eased after that. The baby provided not only a center point for conversation, but plenty of hands-on work to keep them busy.
At almost ten, Nathaniel’s cell phone dinged. His expression was triumphant as he read the text. He looked up at Dani with a grim smile. “She bought gas and groceries in Decatur.”
“That’s good, then—right? She’s still in town?”
“Unless she’s headed north to run away.”
“Don’t think like that,” Dani said. “Being the mother of an infant is stressful and emotionally draining. I’ll bet Ophelia had a freak-out moment for some reason, and she brought the baby to you. Once she gets her head on straight, she’ll want Peaches back again.”
“Let’s hope so.”
Their little charge went out for the night not long after that. Dani showered and put on the ivory gown and robe. The king-size bed in the center of the room was an invitation for romantic sex, or so it seemed to Dani’s heated longings.
As if he had read her mind, Nathaniel crossed the space separating them and moved behind her, linking his arms around her waist. He rested his chin on top of her head. “I hope you’re ready for bed,” he said.
“I am pretty tired.”
He spun her around to face him and bent to stare into her eyes. “Please tell me that was a joke. I should get stars in my crown for keeping my hands off you all day.”
“You were too busy with the traffic to notice me.”
“Don’t fish for compliments, elf. I’m obsessed with you, and it’s damned uncomfortable.”
Nathaniel had never meant to be so honest. But his moments with Dani were slipping away. He couldn’t afford to waste a single one.
Tonight seemed like an ending—bittersweet and momentous at the same time. He was damned tempted not to let her go. Her openness and caring were the antithesis of the way he lived his life. Keeping her would be not only dangerous, but selfish. He couldn’t imagine a future without her, but he knew he wasn’t equipped to be the man she needed.
He undressed her carefully and then removed the athletic pants he had donned after his shower. They climbed into bed without speaking. He pulled her to the center of the mattress and wrapped his arms around her. “I don’t want to hurt you, Dani.”
Dani went rigid in his embrace. “I can take care of myself,” she said, the words tart. “Maybe you should worry about me hurting you.”
He smiled in the darkness. She was reminding him that their relationship was a two-way street. What she couldn’t know was that he had gone years without letting women get close enough to penetrate the walls around his heart. If anyone had the power, it would have been Dani. But he was in no danger. He held all the cards.
As long as he remained in control, everything would go according to plan. He could assign Dani to a new division and gradually wean himself from her allure.
He hadn’t allowed himself to fall in love with her. That was how he knew everything was going to be okay.
For the next hour, he lost himself in the pleasure of her body. The sex was as good as it had ever been, but something was a little off. His Christmas elf wasn’t as open with him as before. She held something back. Put up a few no-trespassing signs.
Her reticence might have been infuriating if he hadn’t been balls deep in making love to her. Not loving her. There was a difference.
Each time he made her come, he was jubilant. She might have other lovers after him, but he was determined she wouldn’t be able to erase the memories of tonight.
Beyond that testosterone-fueled goal lingered a strange mixture of elation and terror. His body was sated, lax with bone-deep pleasure. He held Dani close and buried his face in her hair.
It was only sex, he told himself desperately. Only sex...
* * *
Morning came far too soon. Peaches had given them a good six-hour stretch, taken a bottle and then gone right back to sleep until almost eight o’clock. Even so, Nathaniel wanted to spend the morning in bed. With Dani.
As they took turns getting ready, his lover was quiet. It was just as well. He had nothing witty to say, no funny quips about melting snow or holiday blues or poopy diapers.
Dani’s mother was preparing Christmas lunch for the midday meal. Dani and Nathaniel were instructed to arrive no later than eleven in order to have time for opening presents and taking official family photos.
The Meadows family owned fifteen acres of land outside of town. Their property ran alongside a rich river bottom and up the side of a small hill. Dani had told him stories about running barefoot through fields of cotton and catching fireflies on hot summer nights.
He was charmed in spite of himself. Such rustic, simple pleasures were a million miles away from his own upbringing. Oftentimes as a kid, he’d spent hours at the kitchen table, figuring out homework on his own and listening to the ticking of the mantel clock as it echoed in their elegant, lonely home.
Shaking off the maudlin thoughts, he concentrated on maneuvering the Hummer around Gainesville. “Nice town,” he said.
“It was a fun place to grow up. I love Atlanta, though. I’m a big-city girl at heart. I even thought about moving to New York at one time.”
“But?”
“It’s expensive. And I would miss my family. Atlanta is home.”
At a red light, he braked and glanced in the rearview mirror. “Is she doing okay?”
“Almost asleep. I wish we could drive around long enough for her get a good nap. Mom expects promptness, though. My siblings and I learned that the hard way. If we came in late from a date or a party, we’d be grounded for two weeks. It was effective punishment.”
“Don’t take this wrong, but it sounds like the Meadowses are a typical American family. It’s nice.”
Dani shrugged. “You could say that. Still, even typical American families have problems, Nathaniel. Normalcy doesn’t exempt anyone from pain and tragedy.”
He mulled over her odd answer as they drove ever closer to Dani’s childhood home. Was she trying to tell him something, or was he reading too much into her words?
When they finally made it to the other side of town and out into the country, Nathaniel thought they were home free. The sky
